The Shattered Mirror
by BlueSmerf
Summary: A mirror is something fragile. A smudge can make the reflection look weird. Water makes everything blurry. Cracks in a mirror is a dangerous thing, because everyone knows, a mirror can only take so much...Before it finally shatters. Rated T for language, possible suicide attempt. Contains many pairings, such as: KyoTama, HikaKao, MorixHoney, etc.
1. Changes

**A/N: Hey, guys. I know I am in no place to be starting yet another story with so many that have to be updated, but this idea has been in my head for many months now. I hope that this story goes well. I would like to apologize to the people who are reading my other stories. I know how much it sucks when writers don't update, so I guess I'm kind of a hypocrite in that sense. Anyway, the reason I sound so formal right now is because I just got home from school, my Gym teacher had made me swim 16 laps, then right after I had to walk home with dripping wet hair while it was 5 degrees outside (Actually -2 with the wind chill). Anyway, I'm sorry if you think I complain too much, I just wanted to rant to somebody. Love you guys!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran Highschool. (Sorry, I'm kinda mean when I'm tired)**

* * *

Their story started with a mirror. When one face smiled, the other one did too. When one face cried, the other cried also. When one of their hearts broke, the other is there to pick up the pieces. A mirror had two faces. One was the original, the other, its reflection. All mirrors were like that. But this one was different. This mirror was locked away from the world. It only showed its original two faces, it only would show them. But then, someone broke the special lock on the mirror's world. She grabbed the original face and showed him stuff outside of the mirror's closed little cell.

But the reflection remained. It didn't leave with the face, like it was expected to. It was left there...

With a giant, gaping crack over its heart.

* * *

_Am I selfish? I mean...Is it wrong that I want to spend time with him so badly? He is his own person after all, he has a right to do what he wants. I just don't understand...How did such an ordinary girl have such an amazing ability at making people happy? I couldn't ever hate her...Not after all of the things she's done for everyone. It's not her fault Hikaru fell for her. It's not her fault that I wasn't good enough. I know I'm being selfish, but why? Why do I have to endure such mental torment?_

_I want Hikaru to be happy, Haruhi wants Hikaru to be happy._

_Hikaru is happy with Haruhi, Haruhi is happy with Hikaru._

_But...Where's my happiness?_

_All I wanted was for him to learn how to treat others', to respect others' feelings. I never thought that trying to do something good would give me so much anguish now... I love him. I really, really do. I want to be in his life again, I want to be as important as I used to be. I want..._

_I just want my brother back..._

* * *

Kaoru let out a small sigh as he watched Hikaru and Haruhi walk away. He knew he was being a baby, but...Would it really be all that bad if Hikaru waited for him? The younger brother tried not to complain around Hikaru; he always smacked a giant smile onto his face. The smile that hurt his face, the smile that never felt...Right.

Kaoru slowly gathered his things and walked out the door. He blinked in surprise when he saw no one else in the hall. _Could it really be lunch already? I didn't stay in the classroom that long..._

The red head walked confusedly down the hall, the emptiness giving him a bad feeling. He always hated being alone. The only memories he had were either of him and Hikaru, or himself...alone. Since he was the younger twin, he was prone to getting sick more easily than his brother. When he was a child, he remembered lying alone in their giant bed, just waiting for Hikaru to come back.

Kaoru shook his head, trying to rid himself of the lonely memories.

"Pull yourself together, Kaoru," He muttered to himself, "Stop being a baby..."

The young boy continued down the hall, stopping in front of the library. Kaoru had to admit: he was a total bookworm. When it came to books, they helped him cope with reality. In a book, he could be anything he wanted. That's why he cherished literature, it was something that just... Helped you forget. But there was one downside...

It always ends. The second the character has the perfect life, they close the curtain. Kaoru knew books had to end at some point, but he wished that they made books where there wasn't a problem. He wanted there to be more books where it was only happiness. Except, after a while, that would get boring.

**_It's contradictory...Just like_**** you...**

Kaoru blinked at the aggressive voice he just heard. He whipped around, looking up and down the hall. It was as still and empty as he had left it. Shrugging, the teen continued into the library. He noticed that there wasn't as many people as there usually was. He blinked confusedly and tapped the nearest person on the shoulder. She blinked and looked up at him.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but...Where is everyone?" Kaoru asked.

"Oh...Most of classes are at this big lecture on college and being prepared for taking over their parents business, and yatty, yatty, yatta...Hey, aren't you one of the guys in that Host Club thing?" The girl asked, squinting slightly.

"Yea, I am."

"Well, I saw the two of the Club members going to that abandoned music room. I think they said something about a meeting." The girl recalled. Kaoru nodded and said, "Thanks_." _Before quickly disappearing out the door once more.

* * *

"Ah, Kaoru! Mon ami! What took you so long?" Tamaki asked. Kaoru panted looking around him. Everyone was dressed up as cats. The red head blinked at them before turning back to the blond. He noticed that 'His Highness' was wearing two yellow kitty ears and a long yellow tail.

"Sorry, Tono. No one told me that we were doing something today..."

"What? But, I told Hikaru to tell you." Tamaki said. He turned towards the older brother and asked, "Hikaru, why didn't you tell Kaoru about the meeting today?"

Hikaru looked up from talking to Haruhi, who was wearing brown kitty ears and a brown tail with white on the end, and said, "Oh, yea...Sorry, Kaoru, guess I forgot."

Tamaki's blue eyes widened slightly as he saw a look of sadness on Kaoru's face quickly replace with a smile, "No problem, Hika. Just remember next time okay?"

But the younger twin was ignored as his brother dove back into his conversation with Haruhi. Kaoru still had the (fake) cheerful smile on his face as he turned back to Tamaki, "Did I miss anything important?"

The French teen shook his head slowly and explained, "I actually called this meeting so I could make sure all of our costumes looked okay, but I think there's something Kyouya wants to discuss also."

Kaoru nodded and walked towards the changing room. He walked in and saw an outfit similar to the one Hikaru was wearing. He quickly changed into it and looked at himself in the mirror. The fuzzy ears were only slightly darker than his hair, they had white markings on the tips. The tail he wore was the same color as the ears, a similar marking at the end of it. But, the only difference between Hikaru's outfit and his own was Kaoru had to wear a dark purple collar.

He walked out to see that everyone was already seated at the meeting table, about to start. The young twin quickly scampered over to the table and took a seat beside Kyouya. He would have sat by Hikaru, but...

"Hikaru! Stop harassing my daughter!" Tamaki growled, dramatically point at the couple. Kaoru's calm expression sank a bit when he saw Hikaru smirk at Tamaki and give Haruhi a kiss on the cheek. Kaoru noticed his mask starting slip, so he quickly gave a small smile and turned to Kyouya, "So, Kyouya-Sempai, what did you want to tell us?"

The shadow blinked and replied, "Hikaru told me earlier that he wanted to try doing the love act with Haruhi. I think that if it goes well, we may manage to get more of a profit."

Kaoru let his emotions shine through as he stuttered, "B-But...That's our thing."

"Come on, Kaoru, you know that eventually the ladies will get bored with it." Hikaru butted in.

Kaoru gave him a sad glance and said, "We could've always just...Switched roles or something. Don't you think this is rather...sudden?"

Hikaru gave a bored look and said, "What will we do if the girls _suddenly_ get bored with our act? Besides, Haruhi's already a girl so she'll be perfect for the uke part!"

Kaoru looked at the table with a heartbroken gaze and mumbled, "But...it's the only thing I have left..."

"What?" Tamaki asked gently. Kaoru shook his head, once again plastering on that painful smile, "Nothing, nothing. If Hikaru wants to try something new, I guess I can do it."

Kyouya let out a small grin and said, "Then it's settled. Starting tomorrow, the Brotherly Love act with be the Devilishly Natural act." (**A/N: I'm sorry for the horribleness of the name...**)

The hosts all smiled and stood. Honey on Mori's shoulders, asking him what kind of cake they were going to get. Tamaki chattering away about how tomorrow would unfold. Kyouya nodding along, silently figuring out how to make the blond's idea better. Hikaru with his arm around Haruhi. They all left in pairs.

All, but one.

The forgotten redhead was in a numb state. He stared blankly at his hands, the silence swallowing up his thoughts. A lone tear slid down his cheek; he stood slowly, his bangs covering his eyes. He trudged to the door solemnly, a zombie-like look filled his eyes. He grabbed the handle and slowly walked out of the music room.

**_Can you really blame him? Like he said, people get bored eventually. 16 years of the same, old toy; the others are actually wondering why he didn't get with Haruhi sooner..._**

**__**_S-Shut up! I'm not a toy to him, I'm his brother!_

_**Do you really think Hikaru would give up a beautiful, smart, kind girl for his useless, weak, boring little brother?**_

_Y-You...No! I won't believe it! He loves me! He wouldn't give up on me like that! I know I'm not the bravest or smartest person, but he wouldn't just leave me like that._

_**Oh, really? If he wouldn't just leave you, don't you think he would've waited for you to actually get in the limo before driving off?**_

_W-What?_

_**Take a look.**_

Kaoru ran over and looked out the nearest window, and what he saw broke his heart in two.

Hikaru and Haruhi kissed, breaking apart with smiles on their faces. Then, his twin turned and hopped into the limo. Haruhi stepped back and waved to the limo as it drove away. Then, the short brunette walked away, turning the corner to go home.

Kaoru let out a small whimper as the long, black car disappeared from view, "H-Hikaru..."

_**You see? He doesn't need you anymore. Doesn't even want you around!**_

_B-But...No! No, no, no, no, NO! Hikaru does want me! He said he'd never leave! He promised to stay by my side! HE LOVES ME!_

_**Hehehe...You mean he did love you. It seems like that love has...migrated to someone else. Someone better. Someone smarter, braver, stronger.**__**Someone who isn't you.**_

_No! SHUT UP! He loves me! He said he did! Please...Just shut up! HE LOVES ME! HE PROMISED NOT TO LEAVE! HE PROMISED!_

_**...**_

_****_Kaoru fell to his knees, heart-wrenching sobs shaking his body.

"H-He...promise..."

* * *

**A/N: So, what do ya think? I think it came out pretty decent. I know there are probably a thousand stories like this, but please bear with me you guys. Anyway, I would love it if you guys left reviews of what you think. Please don't flame, I don't tolerate meanies. Okay, well I gotta pass out now.**

**Reviews = Pasta~!**


	2. Wrong

_How cliche...Of course it starts to rain as soon as I decide to walk home..._

Kaoru grit his teeth as he walked through the freezing downpour. By the time he finally calmed himself down at school, their driver wasn't working. So, the young boy had to brave through this dreadful weather. His fragile heart tried piecing itself back together, but with no luck. It was in too many pieces for only himself to put it back together.

Kaoru shook his head, letting out a shaky sigh as he ambled down the sidewalk. _What is wrong with me? When did I become such a sap..._ He blinked, looking up in realization that he had arrived home. He pressed the intercom button at the front gates, saw the camera flashed, then the steal bars opened. Quickly, he scampered up the long driveway and burst into the house.

A surprised maid looked at the soaking boy and asked, "Young Master? Is everything alright? Oh, dear, you're absolutely soaked! How about I ask the chefs to make you some soup while you change?"

"Thank you, Kiroshin. That is very kind, but I'm alright for now." Kaoru panted. He trudged up the stairs and turned the corner, heading for his and Hikaru's room. He walked in and headed for the dresser. He pulled out some soft, silk PJ's and slipped them on, also throwing on some fuzzy socks. He then threw on a robe and walked out of the room.

Kaoru walked back down the steps and into the TV room, thinking his twin might be in there. Sure enough, Hikaru was snuggled under a blanket, watching Harry Potter with drowsy eyes. Kaoru quietly padded over and nudged his brother gently on the shoulder. The older boy blinked and looked up at his brother, "Oh, hey, Kaoru. Wanna watch this with me?"

_**Just like I thought. He forgot all about what happened at school in favor of that girl.**_

_Would you let me have my moment?!_

"Uh, sure, Hikaru." Kaoru muttered, sitting by Hikaru's feet. Surprisingly, Hikaru sat up, wrapped the blanket around him, and laid him down next to him.

_Ha! Take that!_

_**Just you wait...Even you know something as complicated as this doesn't end so simply...**_

"You're cold."

"Oh, sorry..."

"Eh...Hey, I'm going over Haruhi's place after this movie ends."

_**Hehe...He's too predictable...**_

"O-Oh...Okay." Kaoru said, giving Hikaru a small (fake) grin.

"I'll be back by nine." Hikaru murmured, resting his chin on Kaoru's shoulder. Kaoru blushed lightly before relaxing into Hikaru's embrace.

_**I don't know what you're so happy about. He's going to leave you the second this movie ends.**_

_I'm just happy with the fact he hasn't left yet..._

Kaoru sighed and scooted down, burying his face into Hikaru's chest. Soon, he felt himself lulled to sleep by the soft beat of Hikaru's heart.

* * *

With a groan, Kaoru turned over, blinking open his tired eyes. He found himself laying alone in his and Hikaru's bed. But...Something was missing...

"Hikaru?" Kaoru called, looking around in confusion. Then, the events of just a while ago played in his mind.

_Oh, yea...He left with Haruhi..._

_**You're surprised?! You know that he was going to leave sooner or later!**_

_Why are you such an ass?_

_**I'm part of **__**your**__** imagination, aren't I?**_

Kaoru huffed at the insult, sitting up in the bed. He rubbed his left eye and yawned tiredly, arching his back a bit. He then slid over to the edge of the bed and slipped out of it, shuddering slightly at the loss of warmth. Drowsily, he walked out of the bedroom and down the grand staircase.

Two, identical maids stood obediently at the bottom of the steps. They blinked twice at the disheveled boy, before saying the usual, "Good evening, young master."

"Hey..." Kaoru mumbled as he trudged passed them. He stumbled lazily into the kitchen and poured himself a bowl of cereal.

The maids appeared behind him once more and said, "Young master, we could always just ask one of the chefs to prepare a meal for you."

"No, thank you. I don't really want anything that fancy, I'm fine with just this." Kaoru replied, already munching on the chocolatey cereal. The two maids, then left without another word.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Oh my god!" Kaoru jumped and spun around to see his father standing in the doorway of the kitchen, "Oh, it's just you..."

"I love you too, son."

Kaoru smirked, and then said, "I'm fine, by the way, I'm just tired from school. They've been giving out really hard tests lately."

Kaoru's dad blinked, before nodding, and said, "Well, okay. Just let me know if you're ever feeling depressed, you're a lot harder to read then Hikaru you know."

Kaoru's eyes widened at his dad and he whispered, "You...can tell us apart?"

"Of course! I am your father, aren't I?" Came the chuckling reply.

"But, mom can't."

"Eh, but she's always in her studio. Doesn't count."

"But, still, aren't you usually working all day too?"

"There are perks to being invisible, you get to see what everyone's up to." His father admitted, patted the his son's head, "Okay, so I just wanted to make sure everything was good. I'm heading out for a bit, call me if you need anything."

He waved to Kaoru before walking out of the kitchen, leaving the young twin alone to his thoughts.

_**See what you're doing? You're making all of them worry! Maybe if you learned how to take care of yourself, they wouldn't have such a burden on their shoulders.**_

Kaoru sighed, dumping the rest of his cereal into the garbage disposal. He wasn't all that hungry anyway...

* * *

_**You're just a copy, a fake. Hikaru was supposed to be the heir, the one to inherit the family business, he is the original. Then you came and screwed up his life. Now, he has to share every piece of his life with you, and for what? To keep you, a selfish little brat, happy.**_

_You're lying. I-I try and do everything I can to make him happy too._

_**Such as? Keeping him to yourself for 16 years so he grew up twisted and only had you in his life? Yea, big favor you did for him there.**_

_W-We...Th-That's not my fault!_

_**How is it NOT your fault? If you weren't born, then Hikaru would probably be one of the most popular guys in school right now! Plus, the Host Club wouldn't have to worry about having an odd number. Face it, just your existence is screwing everyone over!**_

_That's...That's not...I just..._

_**You can't even defend yourself in a fight with your own mind. You can't get much more pathetic than that...**_

_...I am important...I...I know I am..._

_**The sooner you leave, the better.**_

_No..._

_**Why do you have to be so utterly useless? End it now and everyone can get on with their lives.**_

_Shut up..._

_**They won't miss you...**_

_Shut up._

_**No one will care...**_

_Shut up!_

_**Hikaru will smile at the fu-**_

"SHUT UP!" Kaoru screamed, dropping onto his bed. He breathed heavily as he felt tears gather in his eyes.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_

* * *

__**A/N: *LE GASP* The drama! The voices! The HARRY POTTER! (Yes, I am so much of a nerd, I needed to add Harry Potter into this somewhere). Not the best chapter ever, but we'll just have to live with it. I think this story is okay for my first Drama/Angst thingy. So, please leave a review and tell me what you think.**

**Review = Panda!**


	3. Hurting

**A/N: Just spent all night looking after a one and three year old...I slept until 1:00pm and I'm still tired. So, I'm really glad people like this, especially since this is my first time writing something like this. I'm not in the best mood 'cause yesterday I was writing, and was literally writing the last sentence of the chapter, when my computer deleted ALL OF IT. So this probably won' be as good as I intended it to be, so be prepared.**

**Disclaimer: ...(Fell asleep)**

* * *

****"Ka...Kao...Wa...Wak...Kao...KAORU!"

"What happened?!" Hikaru roared with laughter as he saw Kaoru spasm and fall out of bed. The younger twin, however, was not amused.

"Was that _really_ necessary?" Kaoru huffed, swaying slightly as he got back on his feet. Hikaru gave him a sly smirk and went into their walk-in closet. Kaoru just shook his head and plopped back onto the bed.

"We got school today, you gotta get up," Hikaru called. He came back out of the closet, with his and his brother's uniforms in hand, and gave Kaoru a concerned look, "By the way...Why were you crying last night?"

Kaoru blushed, not sure how to respond, "I...Um...Had a bad dream."

"Oh...Okay. Come on, we gotta hurry up! I told Haruhi I'd meet her before class today." Hikaru suddenly perked up, tossing Kaoru's clothes at him. The older redhead quickly changed into the expensive attire, before racing to the bathroom.

Kaoru blinked, remaining motionless on the bed. He thought over his brother's response to his 'nightmare'. He remembered a time when he would tell his brother that he had bad dream and Hikaru would hold him, whisper sweet nothings into his ear, lulling him back to sleep in a warm embrace.

_**Suck it up, you little wuss! Would you grow up already? You always claim you're so much more mature than Hikaru and here you are, whining over the fact he didn't coddle you like a little four year old!**_

"I'm not whining..." Kaoru muttered, slowly getting off the bed. He slipped into his uniform, and went into the bathroom. He quickly brushed his hair, parting it to the right, then padded down the stairs.

"Good morning, master. Did you sleep well?" A butler asked, walking passed with some laundry.

"Just fine, thank you. Is Hikaru eating breakfast, already?" Kaoru politely asked. He felt nervous when he saw the man's smile fade.

"Your brother already left. He took the first car he saw."

Kaoru's expression sunk, before he forced a small grin onto his face, "Oh, okay. Hey, um, I'm not feeling that well today. Would you mind calling the school and telling them I'm not going?"

The butler gave a slow nod and said, "As you wish, Master, I shall inform them immediately."

"Thank you..." Slowly, the redhead trudged back upstairs, and crept into his bedroom. Not Hikaru's and his bedroom, just his. The one that was intended for him to live in instead of staying with Hikaru.

He remembered when their mother first suggested it. She made the room as appealing as she could. The walls were painted a beautiful, creamy orange. The bed had a light orange comforter and bright white pillows. The floor was a dark, chestnut brown hardwood with a fuzzy orange carpet under the bed. Across the room from the bed, was a big flat screen TV that hung on the wall. There were also three bookcases along the wall, bursting with novels.

But, when the twins were children, it didn't matter how fancy or beautiful the room was. If one twin wasn't with the other, nothing could fill the void beside them. So, their mother gave in to letting them share a room. Kaoru's room just stayed frozen in time. It was cleaned everyday, just like any other room. It never changed, it was the exact same as when Kaoru saw it last.

He was seven back then...

(Flashback)

_"Mommy, I don't want my own room. I want to be with Hikaru!" The small child pouted up at the woman. The mother smiled, holding the little boy's hand as she continued down the hall._

_"Come now, Kaoru, you're a big boy now. Big boys need to stay in their own rooms." Kaoru huffed at the reply, but obediently followed his mother._

_Soon, they came to a new room, one Kaoru had never seen before. The young twin hesitantly padded into the room, looking around curiously. His mother smiled at his fascination of the place._

_"Do you like it?"_

_Kaoru nodded, his head whipping around to try and see everything. Everything he could ever want was in here! Except..._

_"Can Hikaru live in here too?"_

_At this, Mrs. Hitachiin frowned, "Honey, I told you, this is your room. Only yours. Hikaru must stay in his own room."_

_At this, Kaoru's smile disappeared. The little boy's eyes filled with tears, causing his mother to fill with guilt and sympathy._

_"Sh, honey, it's okay..." The woman cooed, wrapping the child in a comforting embrace, "Hikaru can always come in here. He can even sleep with you in here sometimes."_

_"B-But...I want to be with him all the time."_

_"Sweetie, you need to learn to be independent. If you don't...Your feelings might get hurt." She tried to explain, rocking Kaoru lightly as he began to sob._

_"Hikaru and I...w-we p-promised...w-we'd be t-together...f-forever..." The little boy sniffled._

_"I'm sorry, baby. But, when you two grow up, there will be instances when you will be apart. If you don't know how to deal with it, it will make you really sad. Oh, baby, please don't cry."_

_A few minutes later, the sobs soon diminished into pitiful sniffles. Kaoru slowly looked up at his mother. Mrs. Hitachiin gave her son a kiss on the forehead and wiped the remaining tears away._

_"Independence can make you sad sometimes. It makes you want to go back to the times of when someone was always there, taking care of you. But...In the end...It's all for the best." _

_Kaoru was about to answer when he was interrupted by an angry, "What are you doing?!"_

_The two looked at the door to see an identical little boy standing there, tiny fists clenched tightly. _

_"H-Hika?"_

_"Why'd you make him cry?" Hikaru demanded, a look just short of a glare directed at his mother. The woman just smiled at her older son and replied, "I was only showing Kaoru his new room."_

_"His new WHAT?!"_

Kaoru chuckled to himself as he remembered the rampage Hikaru went on at the news of his brother getting his own room. He remembered the way his brother fought for hours with his parents to let him stay in his room. He remembered how when his twin lost, he took him by the hand and kept him in his room all day.

He remembered how much Hikaru used to want him around.

_**Oh, boo-hoo. Geez, your sappiness makes me want to barf.**_

_Please...Just be quiet for a few minutes..._

_**...You know how take this pain away.**_

_No. I'm not letting it come to that._

_**So, you'd rather suffer in silence alone, than have at least something to make it better?**_

_..._

_**No one's gonna stop you. Go on.**_

Kaoru shakily got to his feet, stumbling out of the room. He ambled down the hall and locked himself in bathroom. He leaned on the door, sliding slowly to the floor. He felt so, so tired. As if, he wanted to just fall alseep...And never wake up.

He clumsily crawled over to the shower, reached in, and pulled out his black razor. He then crawled back over the door, and leaned against it once more. He stared at the sharp blade of the razor, the way its dangerous edge shined in the dim light of the room.

_**Well? Get on with it!**_

_Shut up. I'm nervous..._

_**What the hell is there to be nervous about? Just do it and you'll feel better!**_

_B-But..._

_**Do you want to get better or not?**_

_I do! Of course I do! B-But...It's going to hurt, isn't it?_

_**Not as much as you're hurting right now. Come on, like a band-aid.**_

_Y-Yea...A band-aid._

Kaoru's breathes started to become shaky as he raised the sharp object to his wrist. He then moved it lower on his arm, away from the sensitive veins above.

_One, two..._

"Th-Three." Kaoru held his breath as he quickly pushed the blade across his skin. He let out a gasp of pain, dropping the razor to the floor. He squeezed his eyes shut, holding his arm close to him in realization of what he had just done. Hesitantly, one golden eye opened and looked down at the now bleeding arm. He watched in fascination as crimson trickled out of the small wound, dying his arm and the floor red.

_Y-You liar...I feel even worse now._

_**That's cause this is the first time you've done it. Everyone knows, the first time**_** hurts.**

Kaoru glared at floor, disappointed in himself. He couldn't believe it...He willingly cut himself. He knew better than this. He knew there were better ways to make himself feel better. He knew this wasn't the answer.

But...Still...

"...It's such a pretty color..."

* * *

**A/N: O.O Boom! There it is! I tried making Kaoru's cutting scene realistic, I'm sorry if I epically failed. Okay, so, I'm going to tell you guys now, this will be the only cutting scene for a little while. I just don't see Kaoru as the type who wants to cut, but more of the type who does it, but feels horrible for it. Like, something he can't stop. Oh, and I wanted to add a scene of Kaoru and his mother. I wanted this to be a story where he's close to his parents. I don't like the idea of 'they hate their parents, they can't tell them apart, they're constantly gone, they feel abandoned' all that jazz. Not that I don't think those ideas are interesting! I actually like a lot of fanfics that have those plots, but it's just not something I feel I can write convincingly. I don't want this to be too over-dramatic. I want it to be dramatic, but not overly so. **

**Reviews = The hero approves!**


	4. Anguish

**A/N: Hey, guys. Thank you for the kind reviews, they mean a lot to me. I just wanted to say, I am open to any ideas you offer. If you feel I am weak in some spots or feel a character is ****_horribly_**** OOC, please let me know and I will fix it to the best of my abilities. Once again, thank you to all of those who have review/followed/favorited. You guys rock! Now, on with the story!**

**WARNING: There's swearing in this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: ...If I did own this show, anyone who loves Haruhi would never forgive me.**

* * *

**_Stop lying to yourself. It's pathetic. He wants that girl more than he wants you. Deal with it._**

_Hikaru has always told me I'm the only one. The only one he wants to spend the rest of his life with._

_**That was before you were a fool and gave him freedom.**_

_He deserves freedom, needs it. He's not an animal that I can just lock up in a cage. You're so contradictory! First I'm selfish for wanting him to myself, now I'm a fool for setting him free! What do you want from me?!_

_**I want what Hikaru wants. For you to drop dead. If you were gone, he could have time with Haruhi without having to worry about you. The host club won't have an extra member. Haruhi can repay her debt faster from the act she will do with Hikaru. There's no more room in this picture for you. Your 'magic carriage' has become a pumpkin. And it fell to the ground with a great. Big. Splat.**_

_N-No! There's still time! I still have time to fix everything!_

_**Ha! What is there to fix?! Hikaru is happy with Haruhi. Tamaki and Kyouya are enjoying life together. Hunny and Mori are happy with their current standings. The only one who isn't happy right now is you. Not that anyone cares.**_

_H-H...Hikaru cares..._

_**If he cared, don't you think he would've noticed by now? Face it. Even your TWIN, the guy who has been with you before you were even BORN, doesn't want you anymore. If there's a reason for you to keep living, I certainly can't find it.**_

_No...No, you're wrong. My reason to live is Hikaru. It has always has been and it always will be Hikaru._

_**Aw~Well, ain't that sweet. Too bad the only one who gives a shit is you!**_

_..._

_**You know where the medication is kept. Where all of the razors and knives are. It'll be so easy~ I'll even talk you through it.**_

_I-I..._

"Kaoru?" The younger twin jumped out of his thoughts by his father's voice. He turned to see him standing in the doorway, a concerned stare directed at him.

"Oh, hey dad." Kaoru said, a small smile on his face. Mr. Hitachiin frowned and sympathized, "Fake smiles never did suit your face, son."

Kaoru's grin melted away, letting his true emotions show. His eyes became an empty, blank brown, his face seeming even paler than usual, even his hair had seemingly become a darker shade.

"Come now, Kaoru, I told you to tell me if you were ever feeling like this." His father said, sitting next to his son on the bed. Kaoru sighed, looking down at his lap.

"How can you tell how I'm feeling when Hikaru can't...?"

Mr. Hitachiin sighed and said, "Hikaru is one of those people who, when they see something interesting or different, they focus all of their attention on that one thing. They seem to forget about everything else. Now, these people can be hard to live with, they're the kind who you wish came with a manual. But, I know that you know enough about Hikaru to grab his attention back."

Kaoru sighed once more and said, "But, dad, that would be selfish of me. Haruhi makes Hikaru happy. Much happier than I've seen him with me...I don't know. Maybe...Maybe this is for the best..."

"For the best? Son, no one would benefit from this," Kaoru looked up at his father. When he saw he had his son's attention, the man continued, "I know it seems like you're doing the best, but if you decide to...You know. Then, what will happen to Hikaru?"

"Dad, we've been over this. He'll go back to Ha-"

"What will happen when he doesn't want Haruhi anymore?"

"Don't be silly. He'll always want Haruhi."

"Not necessarily," His father chuckled, "You know what Hikaru is like, he has the attention spanned of a gerbil. That girl will be gone before you know it. If you were gone, though, he'd be brokenhearted. No matter what toy we brought him, no matter what game or movie or pet we got for him, all he ever wanted...Was you."

Kaoru stared, dumbstruck, as his father stood, ruffled his hair, then left without another word. The twins' parents had sort of taken a paid vacation this month to just stay home, not that that meant they weren't in their studies most of the time. But, Kaoru didn't mind. He liked that he could finally bond with his parents.

But, they didn't fill the gaping hole Hikaru left in his heart.

_Please, Hikaru...Won't you come back?_

* * *

Hikaru shook his head, trying to silence the nagging voice in his head. Something had been bothering him all day...Something kept yelling at him to go to Kaoru. But, he didn't. If something was wrong, Kaoru would call him or send a text that there was something bothering him.

"Hikaru, are you okay? You seem troubled." Haruhi said, looking at Hikaru worriedly. The redhead smiled reassuringly at his girlfriend and replied, "No worries, Haruhi. I'm fine."

The couple continued to walk in a comfortable silence all the way to the Host Club. When they opened the door, they were surprised to see no one was wearing the planned 'Kitty Cosplay'.

"You guys, the club is going to open any minute. Why aren't you in costume?" Haruhi asked.

Kyouya quirked an eyebrow and said, "You're one to talk. You two are the ones running late."

"Besides, I've told you before that we will only do cosplay when everyone is present. Togetherness is our guiding principle!" Tamaki added, his violet, blue eyes sparkling.

Hikaru snorted when he saw Haruhi face palm. The brunette smiled at the fact she had made her boyfriend laugh. She may be awful for thinking this, but...She was glad Kaoru wasn't here. She felt so awkward trying to flirt and kiss Hikaru when his brother was always following them around. But, she never commented on it though. She knew Hikaru would become insulted at the fact she didn't want his brother around.

"Places, everyone!" Tamaki called. Everyone gathered in the usual pose by the entrance. The doors opened, the lights shined brightly, the rose petals blew elegantly...

"Welcome~"

* * *

Kaoru laid on his bed, carefully feeling the small bandage on his arm. He knew he probably overreacted to the pain, but...He guessed he just underestimated how much it would hurt.

_**Just like you underestimated Haruhi. You give her a chance, and she causes you nothing but pain.**_

_Listen, you contradicting douche bag, I'm not going to start blaming Haruhi because Hikaru fell in love with her. It's not her fault Hikaru finds her more appealing than me. _

_**...**_

Content that the battle in his head was over, Kaoru picked up his MP3 player, put in the ear-buds, and pressed play. He turned up the volume, then stretched out comfortably on the bed.

_Why did you change?  
Why did you bend and break?  
When the water turned to wine,  
Did it feel the same?  
Why did you change?  
Why did you bend and break?  
When the water turned to wine, it never..._

You suck the bottle dry  
Touch fingers to the night  
Feels like I've been here before  
Now there's an empty hole where you were long ago  
But things are different when you're young.

Why did you change?  
Why did you bend and break?  
When the water turned to wine, did it feel the same?  
Why did you change?  
Why did you bend and break?  
When the water turned to wine, it never feels the same.

The nights are getting cold  
Those faces growing old  
And there is nothing you can do  
So sing your sad excuses  
You've got the scars to prove it  
And I'm sure they'll sing along.

Why did you change?  
Why did you bend and break?  
When the water turned to wine, did it feel the same?  
Why did you change? (Why did you change)  
Why did you bend and break?  
When the water turned to wine, it never feels the same

It never feels the same.

Why did you change?  
Why did you bend and break?  
When the water turned to wine, did it feel the same?  
Why did you change? (Why did you change)  
Why did you bend and break?  
When the water turned to wine, it never...  
When the water turned to wine, it never feels the same.

Kaoru gave a shaky sigh as the song came to an end. He turned off the music, not wanting to hear anymore. That song reminded him too much of Hikaru. Too much of the pain his brother was unknowingly causing him. Too much of hoe far away he was now.

Reminding him...That his brother finally left their world.

* * *

"Haruhi? Why are you over here?"

"Yea, shouldn't you be over there? In your usual spot?"

"Where's Kaoru?"

The girls' questions came pouring out, one after another, after another. Haruhi, seeing that Hikaru didn't know what to do, finally said, "Kaoru's not here today. He's sick."

"Oh, okay."

"But that still doesn't explain why you're over here Haruhi."

Hikaru suddenly snapped back to reality and said, "Well, it seems as though Haruhi has stolen my heart~"

One of the girls squealed, while the two others looked on in shock. Finally, the blond one said, "You...You mean you just...Left Kaoru? After everything you've been through?"

Hikaru blinked, then in a panic, stuttered out, "N-No! It's not like that! I love Kaoru very much! I wouldn't do that to him."

"You certainly haven't been acting like it lately." The other girl, one with black hair, huffed, "Everyone can tell the difference between you two now. Everyone is saying you can tell by seeing which one is flirting with Haruhi and which one is being ignored."

"I...I don't ignore him." Hikaru defended lamely.

"If leaving him out of every conversation and practically forgetting his existence isn't ignoring him, then please tell me what is." The black haired girl said, giving him an unamused look. The other two girls sat in silence, looking at the couple expectantly.

Haruhi glared at the girl, snapping, "You're exaggerating! You're acting like Kaoru's this poor, abused little boy, when really he's acting about as mature as a child! Kaoru needs to grow up and learn to take care of himself!"

Hikaru look up incredulously, "Wait a sec, Ha-"

"Don't you _dare_ try and defend him Hikaru!" Haruhi growled, "He's been far too dependent on you for far too long! It's not fair how he forces you to stay with him every second of every day! It's embarrassing that he can't even think for himself without you around! He's turned into a self pitying fool!"

"**SHUT UP!**" Hikaru snarled, his bangs falling over his eyes. The girls had taken on surprised, and slightly nervous, expressions as they watched the interesting scene unfold. Haruhi looked at Hikaru astonished, watched as he shook with anger and was panting from the force of his shout. Every eye in the room was now focused on him.

"You...You know nothing about us...Nothing," He hissed, "Kaoru is the one who is more mature, more independent. It is I who depends too much on him. Without him, I would be nothing but a hollow shell. I didn't know I was neglecting him, and I was wrong to do so. We are brothers, _twins_. Having him in my life is an incredible gift. I feel sorry for you Haruhi. Not knowing Kaoru is like...Throwing away a present before you even unwrap it. He looks stunning on the outside, and on the inside...He is full of such wonderful surprises." All of the girls in the room cooed at the redhead's romantic statement, only to silenced by Haruhi's 'Death Look'.

"Hikaru, you know you're simply idolizing him because I snapped at you," Haruhi sighed, turning back to the boy, "I'm sorry for saying those things to you, but that does not mean I was not serious when I said them. I know you love Kaoru, but sooner or later...You have to let him go."

* * *

**A/N: Haruhi! What did I tell you about being a bitch?! BLEGH!...Okay, it's very early in the morning right now (like about 2 or 3), I tried to make this a bit longer, because...Just because. And don't worry guys, this story still has a LONG ways to go. This is only a glimpse of the shit I plan on throwing down. Anyway, hoped you liked it and I'll update again probably later today and super early tomorrow morning! See ya!**

**P.S. The song I used was Structure by InnerPartySystem**

**Reviews=I shall protect you from England's cooking! **


	5. Splat

**A/N: Hey, guys. I just wanted everyone to know a few things before I this story goes further. First of all, Kaoru won't be cutting VERY much, and when he does he'll make one or two (I see him as the type that thinks it will help but is still scared when doing it). Second, I will be adding scenes that do not have Hikaru and Kaoru in them, but will involve them. But, I'm not having any OCs, the closest I'll come to that is the customers at the Host Club. Third thing, I will be adding songs into some chapters like the last, though it may not always be Kaoru listening on his MP3 (aka Someone will might sing it, it might be added at the end to set the mood, etc.). Also, if you guys would like to see the hosts cosplay as something specific or if you have a good costume idea, PLEASE tell me! I'd love to hear anything you want to add. So...Yea. Thank you for reading and enjoy!**

**WARNING: I may change the rating on this story because in the future, I may be adding a lemon. Just sayin'. Okay, on with the story~!**

**Disclaimer: ...*Goes to Tamaki's emo corner* I'm currently making a hamster home...**

* * *

****Kaoru watched intently, happiness glimmered in his otherwise blank eyes as the familiar, black limo pulled through the front gates. The car slowed to a stop and Hikaru tiredly climbed out of the vehicle. Kaoru's eyes brightened immensely when he saw that_ she_ wasn't with him. Rushing out of the room, and down the stairs, Kaoru got to the door just in time to see Hikaru walk in.

He paused, frowning slightly, as Hikaru brushed passed him, without even a wave. Obediently, the younger twin followed his brother to the entertainment room. It was a fairly big room, it was a dark blue with white carpet. The lights were dimmed, making the plasma TV seem even brighter. There were six bookcases overflowing with videogames and movies, under the TV there were about six different gaming consoles. There were two beanbags in the center of the room. One was a faded blue while the other was a bright orange, it contrasted the room greatly.

Kaoru plopped down in his orange beanbag, watching his brother quietly as he grabbed Black Ops and put it in the Xbox. Hikaru then turned and sat in his blue beanbag, pressing 'Start Campaign' on his title screen. Kaoru shot Hikaru quick, worried glances as his brother expertly moved his character on the screen, shooting every zombie in sight.

Finally, the younger twin asked, "Um...So, Hika, how was school?"

Hikaru snorted, commenting, "You sound like a mom, Kaoru."

His little brother pouted at the response, turning back to look at the TV once more. At least fifty zombies later, Kaoru asked, "Seriously, Hikaru, what's wrong?"

Hikaru sighed, pausing the game. He put his head in his hand, massaging his temples in an attempt to relieve his headache. At this, Kaoru leaned over, wrapping his arms around his brother's shoulders. He gave him a small kiss on the cheek and said, "It's okay, Hikaru. You can tell me."

_I can't do this...It'll break his heart...But...Haruhi..._

"I just...I had a fight with Haruhi today."

"Oh...What was it about?" Kaoru's eyes filled with concern as Hikaru avoided eye contact, seemingly turning away in shame.

"...Was it...About me?"

Hikaru sighed and forced out, "Listen, Kaoru. I...I don't really think we should be hanging out as much as we should."

He felt Kaoru tense, before letting go of him. With a heartbroken look, he asked, "W-Why?"

"I'm sorry, Kaoru, but...I want more time to myself. I want to go to school and be recognized as _me_. Not 'Devil Number One', or 'The Older Twin', or 'Kaoru's Brother'. I just...I want time for me and Haruhi. _Just_ me and Haruhi."

Hikaru eyes looked on in concern as he watched his little brother. He felt his heart tear as tears welled up in Kaoru's eyes, a small, broken smile adorning his face. He whispered something in a quiet, raspy voice. Hikaru leaned forward, trying to hear better, as he whispered, "What?"

"...Midnight is almost here..."

* * *

"Mooooooooooooooommy~!"

"Tamaki, for the hundredth time, I told you; I'm busy." The shadow kind said, coolly pushing Tamaki's hand off his shoulder. The French blond gave a dejected whimper, slinking off to his 'Emo Corner'. Kyouya rolled his eyes and said, "I know you're worried about the twins, but you are in no place to try and help them. You cannot fix something when you don't know what's wrong with it."

Tamaki looked up, his natural cheer returning, as he said, "That's what instructions are for!"

"People don't come with instructions, idiot."

"Nu-uh! While humans do not have written manuals like a computer or toy, we come with something that helps define us! So that we can be fixed when we're broken!"

"And that magical thing would be?"

"Our emotions."

* * *

"Young master, there is someone here to see you." The butler said, his mustache wrinkled with every word he spoke. Kaoru quickly wiped his tears and said, "Um, okay. Let them in."

The butler nodded and stepped aside. Instantly, a flash of yellow went passed the man and Kaoru was hit by a gigantic bear hug. He huffed, as let himself get squeezed, before finally he said, "Okay, Tono, calm down. I missed you too, okay?"

Tamaki's eyes sparkled as he let go. He went into a dramatic pose, the lights dimmed, a lone spotlight shown on the blond. Wistfully, he said, "Oh, I knew it. You do miss your daddy~!"

"You're not my-"

"Oh, Kaoru, we need a closer father-son relationship! That is why, WE'RE GOING ON AN ADVENTURE~!"

"Fuck off."

"That's the spirit! Now, let's go!"

* * *

"What is this place, Boss?" Kaoru asked, looking up at the colorful place curiously. There were many small, shack-like buildings. Most were selling fruit, while some sold bread, jams, hand-woven specialties, soap. As he looked around, more and more little goodies were set up on weird, and stranger, little tables and shacks.

"This, my dear Kaoru, is a Farmers' Market!" Tamaki exclaimed, "It's so wonderful! These farmers come from all over to sell their finely grown fruits and vegetables. And, they even sell special novelties~! They sell homemade soap, hand-woven clothes, homemade jewelry, they even have a live band play!"

Kaoru continued to looked around, a small smile growing on his face, "I have to admit...It is pretty nice."

Tamaki grinned brightly, it had been a long time since he had seen a genuine smile on Kaoru's face. The blond grabbed his friend's hand and eagerly began to show him around the market place.

"So, my son, where do you want to look first?"

"I don't know, Tono. You seem to be the expert, so you pick." Kaoru grinned as Tamaki tugged at his hand excitedly.

"To the veggies we go!"

They walked around that small market for hours! They looked at every fruit and vegetable, laughing at the weird shapes and staring in awe at the record-holding giants. They walked through the knitting part of the area, Kaoru laughing as Tamaki tried on each of the various animal hats. They walked through the jewelry shacks, Tamaki bought Kyouya a small, black diamond ring. Kaoru bought a charm bracelet, it happened to have a heart on it. The heart was divided in two, one half was orange and the other, blue.

After they were finished shopping, they managed to find a small ice-cream joint just down the street. As Tamaki ate his chocolate cone and Kaoru ate his strawberry, the two friends watched the live band play together. They chatted about old times, telling stories to one another about the past.

Tamaki was absolutely delighted. For the first time in months...

Kaoru was laughing, and smiling, and enjoying himself. He was telling Tamaki all about funny pranks him and his brother pulled together. He excitedly told him all about how his mother was inviting him to come to Italy with her (his brother was coming too, of course). He was teasing Tamaki about the brown bear hat he had bought, jokingly saying how he would now match his teddy bear. He was acting like Hikaru and Haruhi had never gotten together.

He was finally acting like the true Kaoru Hitachiin.

* * *

"Thank you for everything, Tamaki. It...means a lot." Kaoru said sheepishly. Tamaki grinned and said, "It was no trouble! You and I should do this more often. Oh! In the winter, I know this giant hill that commoners use for sledding! Do you want to come with me sometime and try it?"

"Yea...Yea, I'd like that." Kaoru smiled gratefully, his golden-green eyes shined happily once more. He had completely forgotten about what had transpired between him and his twin. That is...

Until they got home.

Kaoru looked out the window to see Hikaru and Haruhi standing at the entrance of the house, neither of them looked exactly pleased. Tamaki watched in fascination, and slight dread, as all of the light and happiness in Kaoru's eyes quickly drained away.

_As if it were never even there..._

"So, um...Thank you again, Tono. I had fun." Kaoru muttered, his tone emotionless. It amazed the blond to see such a happy, joyous boy get his hope shattered within a matter of seconds. Tamaki blinked, realizing he had zoned out, as Kaoru was about to open the door.

"Kaoru?"

The redhead stopped ad turned to his 'Father'. The French teen gave him a reassuring smile and said, "Do you think you could do this again tomorrow? We could go straight after school?"

Tamaki didn't know if he had imagined it or was just tired, but for a moment...Just one, quick moment...That light shined in Kaoru's eyes as the younger teen whispered, "Sure. I'd love to."

Suddenly, much to Tamaki's surprise, Kaoru gave the blond a quick hug before getting out of the car. Tamaki smiled, waving out the window to Kaoru as the car began to drive away.

Kaoru waved back, watching sadly as the limo disappeared from view. He jumped as he felt someone grip his shoulder and spun him around. He blinked in surprise at the furious face of his twin.

"Where in the _fuck_ were you?"

Kaoru gulped at the threatening voice. He tried to calm himself, remembering that this was Hikaru. And Hikaru would **never** hurt him, just as he would never hurt Hikaru.

"W-Well, Tamaki and I went out to a Farmers' Market. See, look, I found all this cool stu-"

"Do you have **any** idea how worried I was?!" Hikaru growled, "You're supposed to tell me when you're going somewhere! You don't just leave!"

"But, Hikaru, you told me you wanted more time to yourself!" Kaoru defended, beginning to feel irritated.

Hikaru huffed and replied, "I would still like to know where you're going! You need to think of how others feel Kao-"

"Fucking hypocrite..."

"What?" Hikaru blinked, looking at his twin in outrage. Kaoru quickly slapped a hand over his mouth, his own eyes widening at his own remark. Haruhi glared at Kaoru, stepping in front of Hikaru.

"You have no right to talk to Hikaru like that," She scolded, "He's here caring about you, trying to keep you safe, while you're out having the time of your life! You need to learn to appreciate him more!"

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to say that. It's just...Hikaru, I'm confused. First you want me to leave, now you want me to stay."

Hikaru looked down at the ground, unsure how to reply. He then looked up and said, "It's not like I want you _gone_ gone, I just...I just wanted alone time with Haruhi, that's all."

Kaoru let out a chuckle and said, "See? That's all I wanted to know! There's no need to be upse-"

_**SMACK!**_

Kaoru's head snapped to the side, his hand instantly cradled his reddening cheek. He turned his head back in shock as Haruhi panted and yelled, "You idiot! It's not that simple! He wants you by him and at the same time he doesn't! He can't express his feelings for me if you're there breathing down his neck, yet if you're not there he doesn't feel like himself! You make everything so confusing and complicated! Why don't you do us both a favor and **DROP DEAD!**"

And with that, Haruhi ran off. Hikaru stepped forward, about to go after her, until he heard a noise. The smallest, tiniest sound of a whimper. That same little whimper his brother makes before he bursts into tears. Hikaru looked to see Kaoru still cradling his cheek, his teeth was were bared as he grit them together, his bangs covered his eyes with a shadow.

"Just go..."

"K-Kaoru-"

"GO!" Hikaru jumped at the sudden yell, wasting no time in running off after his girlfriend. Kaoru stood tensely, shaking as he tried to keep in his anger and despair. Finally, he could no longer hold it and he felt to his knees on the ground.

_Why? W-Why does something always go wrong the second I get my life the way I want it?_

_"Do us a favor and DROP DEAD!"_

_"...us a favor and DROP DEAD!"_

_"DROP DEAD!"_

_"DROP DEAD!"_

_**And so the pumpkin falls...**_

_**With a great.**_

_"DROP DEAD!"_

_**Big.**_

_"DROP DEAD!"_

_**SPLAT.**_

"P-Please...Somebody...Help m-me..."

* * *

**A/N: ...Happy ending, as always. Anyway, once again thanks for reading. Any ideas you have for the hosts' cosplay please leave it in a review or PM me, and I'll see what I can do. And it's about...12:15am so I'm gonna go to sleep now. Love ya, guys!**

**Review=You get a tomato from Romano!**


	6. Missing

**A/N: *yawns* Hey, guys. I'm very, very, VERY sorry about the late update, but a lot is going on right now. I'm registering for High School (I'm going to be taking three honors classes...What have I done bros?), but that's mostly the reason. It is currently -11 outside WITHOUT the wind chill so I am hiding in my Anime Cave (aka my room under a comforter with a heater on full blast while looking at mangas when I should be doing homework). So, I should probably get on with this. If you reviewed, I love you.**

**Disclaimer: ...I do not own Ouran...*bows head in shame***

* * *

****Kaoru groaned, slowly gaining consciousness. He hesitantly opened one eye to see that it was pitch black outside. He heard the quiet clatter of dishes and turned to see a young maid trying to set down a teacup. The redhead let out a tiny sigh, before speaking up, "Um...Miss?"

The maid blinked in surprise, looking at the tired Hitachiin, "Oh, young master, are you alright? Do you need anything?"

"No, no, I'm fine. How...How did I get here? What happened?"

"Your mother found you out cold on the front steps. She was dreadfully worried! The doctors say you probably fainted from stress or perhaps shock."

Kaoru nodded slowly, before asking, "Where...Where is my mother?"

The maid's expression fell and she sadly replied, "Your mother has been called away for a business trip in Portugal. She won't be back until the end of the month."

The twin's eyes glazed over, all expression leaving his golden orbs. With a shuttering breathe, he mumbled, "Thank you...For telling me. I...I don't mean to be rude...B-But, um..."

The maid nodded understandingly, then left the room. Kaoru blinked, letting the tears finally fall. He felt himself slip further into depression. _A-Am I really all alone? Has everyone...finally left?_

Shaking slightly, his bangs throwing a shadow over his eyes, he began to sing, "P-Please, please, forgive me...But I won't be home again...M-Maybe someday you'll look up and barely conscious you'll say to no one...'Isn't something missing?'"

In an almost hypnotic trance, Kaoru stood from the bed and trudged out the door. He quietly padded down the hall as he murmured, "You won't cry for my absence, I know...You forgot me long ago... Am I that u-unimportant? A-Am I so insignificant? Isn't something missing?...Isn't someone missing me?"

Very slowly, Kaoru pushed open the bathroom door. He closed and locked it behind him, then grabbed the black razor. He shakily lifted his sleeve, looking at the previous mark on his arm disapprovingly. He began to hum the song quietly as he traced the scar with his finger. The scar wasn't just physical...It was now emotional. And those were the ones that never truly heal.

With a new look of determination and grief, Kaoru sucked in a breath, then placed the razor to his arm. He whimpered as the blade cut once...Twice into his arm. Crimson began to trickle out as the wounds opened. The twin looked at his arm in sadness, muttering out, "And if I bleed...I'll bleed, kn-knowing you don't care...And if I sleep just to dream of you, I'll wake without you there...Isn't something missing?...I-Isn't someone missing me...?"

And with that, Kaoru's tired eyes slipped shut.

* * *

Hikaru glared at the ground as he quickly strode home. He was so confused, there were too many problems to deal with all at once. He didn't know how to make them both happy, or at least somewhat content, at the same time. Everything he did just seemed to screw things up even further.

He wanted to stay with Kaoru...But his little brother looked so...so _mad_. He had never seen his brother look so malice in all life! He actually freaked him out a bit. Not that he'd ever admit that, of course. When he was chasing after Haruhi, all he could think about was the look of absolute hate and despair in his twin's eyes. He didn't know if the hate was directed at him, or Haruhi, or just life in general, but the glistening look of grief and sadness...It made Hikaru want to cry _for_ him.

The brunette's words still echoed in his head:

_"Hikaru, I'm tired of all of this confusion and hurt, and...Ugh, I just...I want you to decide. Sooner or later, you two are going to go your separate ways. It's not fair to me or Kaoru, you have to understand that you're not the only one confused. If we're going to be in a relationship, you need to sort out your priorities. I thought you could this on your own, I didn't want to interfere, but it's come to that. Now, Hikaru, I'm sorry..."_

_"H-Haruhi?"_

_"I want you to choose. I'll give you one week to make up your mind, but once you tell me, that decision is final."_

_"P-Please, Haruhi...Y-You know I can't-"_

_"I need you to choose, Hikaru."_

_"..I-I..."_

_"Me or Kaoru?"_

"W-Why are you doing this to me? Y-You know I could never choose...Why are you being so goddamn DIFFICULT?!"The redhead yelled, falling to his knees.

_She's the only one who can tell us a part..The first one to invade our world...I've grown to love her...But, Kaoru...Without him, I would've been alone in that tiny world. I need him and he needs me. I-I can't just leave him. I love them both so dearly, I can't live without both of them in my life...B-But...If I want one to stay, I have to let one go..._

_"The clock is ticking, Hikaru. One week."_

* * *

"Honey-sempai! Mori-sempai! Something is wrong with Kaoru!" Tamaki hollered into the phone. The French teen was already dressed in his blue, silk pajamas, his blond hair looking even more disheveled than usual.

"Kao-chan has seemed kinda sad lately...Do you think it has something to so with Hika-chan?" A childish voice replied. Tamaki sighed and said, "Of course it has something to do with Hikaru, but I just don't know what..."

"Maybe he's jealous of Haru-chan?"

"That's impossible! He's the one who pushed them into a relationship, and the two of them certainly seem happy-"

"Yea, but does Kao-chan seem happy?"

A long, deafening pause echoed through the foyer as Tamaki stood frozen with the receiver in hand. He never really thought about that, Kaoru got them together and they were both happy so he just assumed that Kaoru was happy too...

"Now that I think about it...About a week after they got together, Kaoru sort of just...Stopped smiling." The blond said, running his slender fingers through his thick hair.

Honey sniffled and said, "Kao-chan thought he was doing the right thing...But he broke his own heart in the process..."

"Do you think we can fix it?"

This time, Mori's monotone voice,

"A heart can only take so much...Before it finally shatters."

Tamaki's blue eyes widened as he asked, "A-Are you saying his heart...Can't be fixed?"

"What Takashi means is, if Kaoru doesn't get help soon...That world him and Hika-chan shared, will shrink down to only him..."

* * *

"Son? Are you okay? Come on, open up." Kaoru's eyes slowly opened at the sound of his father's voice. He felt a weird, crusty feeling on his arms, causing him to look down. He was met with sight of three, long cuts on his forearm, covered in hardened blood and dried tears. The young redhead quickly stood, pouring warm water onto his arm. Patting it dry and covering it with a bandage, he opened the door to see a very concerned father.

"H-Hey, dad. What's up?" His voice cracked. This only made his father become more worried, the man's green eyes searching for a hint as to what was causing his youngest son so much pain.

"Are...Are you okay?"

"Yea, I'm fine, just tired. I think I ought to head to bed." Kaoru said. His father blinked at him, before letting out a small chuckle, "I should think so! It's 1:30 in the morning and you have school tomorrow!"

"S-Sorry...I-I'll head to bed then. Goodnight, dad." The twin said, quickly padding off to his bedroom. No, not Hikaru's and his room, only his. The bedroom he used to be so cautious of, the bedroom he loathed...

Mr. Hitachiin sighed, shaking his head sadly as Kaoru scampered away. He may not be the best father in the world, but he certainly knew when his son was at the end of his rope.

* * *

**A/N: I apologize for how short this chapter is, but I'm really exhausted. I really want to apologize to all of those who were waiting, I'm sorry for not updating in so long. I mostly just wanted to update now because I had a good idea for Kaoru, then after I finished that paragraph...BLANK. Nodda, nothin, squat. Once again, I'm sorry for keeping you guys waiting, and I know this isn't the best chapter.**

**The song Kaoru sang was Missing by Evanescence (Just snippets of it though).**

**Reviews = You get to play with Greece's kitties!**


	7. Important

**A/N: Yoga...Sucks...Thank you to all who have reviewed (Even though last chapter didn't deserve it in the slightest). ALL OF YOU GET TWO GREEK KITTIES! (Greece: (Pulls out giant sword)...No.) ...But you'll have to get them yourselves. Um, anyway, I'm sorry to those of you who find Haruhi dreadfully out of character but I will explain why in this chapter (NO. NO GOING AHEAD *Sprays with water* BAD, READER, BAD.) Yeah, this may sound weird, but I've had a major obsession with Harry Potter lately so if you see snippets of characters reading the books and/or watching the movies in some chapters, that's why. And before anyone says, "Oh, Harry Potter isn't popular in Japan." It actually was when it came out there, people from every country like it.**

**My usage of songs will sort of go on and off, so I'll make a disclaimer right now for all of them right now: I do not own any songs, I will state their names and respected owners (So please don't sue me). However, the poems you may in the story will belong to me.**

**That's all I wanted to tell you guys (Damn, that's a long ass Author's Note O.O)**

**Disclaimer: ...Nope D':**

* * *

"Younger Master... It is time to get up... Young master..." Kaoru groaned as he felt a petite hand nudge at his side. He blinked up at the young maid, her kind brown eyes looked him over concernedly, "Are you alright, young master? It is acceptable if you would like to stay home?"

"No, thank you, I shouldn't miss another day." Kaoru sighed, sitting up. He winced at the pain in his side, probably from laying on it weird, stretching out his long, slender arms. The maid bowed respectfully, taking her leave. The redhead drowsily slipped out of bed, stumbling over to his closet. He grabbed his periwinkle blazer and black pants, putting them on slowly.

After he was dressed, he went out the door, walking down the hall to the bathroom. Kaoru looked at himself in the mirror, rubbing his eye slightly. He quickly combed his hair, parting it to the right as usual. When he was finished fixing his reflection, the twin trudged out of the bathroom and down the hall.

Kaoru arrived at the staircase just in time to see the front door closing, obviously his twin hurrying to see his girlfriend. Kaoru shook his head, running a hand through his hair. _Even after what Haruhi did to me, he still chooses her..._

_**At least he has some sense.**_

_Shut up._

Kaoru shook his head, sighing, then continuing down the stairs. He went into the dining room to find it completely empty, a lonely silence consuming the atmosphere. Just then, the familiar, twin maids walked out the kitchen. One was carrying a basket of towels while the other carried a stack of dirty dishes.

The one with the dishes stopped, looking at Kaoru with a somewhat forced smile, "Morning, Master, would you like the chefs to prepare you something?"

"I-" Kaoru stopped himself, suddenly conflicted. He took a deep breath, then answered, "No, thank you, I'm not that hungry this morning. Would you mind getting a chauffeur to bring a car around?

"Already done, sir. Your brother had one prepared for you before he left." The other maid answered, looking concerned that the boy didn't want breakfast. Both young masters were always hungriest in the morning.

"Oh, thanks." Kaoru said, blinking in surprise. He walked back to the front entrance, grabbing his schoolbag from beside the door, then left the house. He hopped in the expensive, waiting car, and rode off to school.

* * *

"Haruhi? Are you alright? You haven't touched your breakfast." Ranka asked, carefully applying some mascara. The brunette at the front door paused, tensing slightly. She turned with a forced smile and said, "O-Of course! Why wouldn't I be?"

"You're upset about those boys aren't you?" Her father gave a knowing smile. Haruhi deflated, giving a feeble nod.

"Honey, you can't force people to change, no matter how much you want them to."

Haruhi sighed, then replied, "I don't want to change them, I just want Hikaru to pay more attention to me. I don't...I don't want go through that again."

Ranka gave her a sympathetic smile, saying, "You know Hikaru isn't like that. He wouldn't purposely ignore you."

Haruhi looked down, remaining silent. The transvestite stood, walking over to his daughter. He gave her a small hug as he said, "I know that boy hurt you...But you can't let what happened with him effect how you are with Hikaru."

"B-But...The last time a boy didn't pay attention...H-He ended up cheating on me with about five other girls!" Haruhi said, shuttering slightly. She willed herself to keep the tears in.

"Oh, sweetie, you know Hikaru would never do that to you. You have to have faith in him." Ranka began to soothingly stroke Haruhi's hair as her shaking increased.

"Everyone I put faith into...Everyone, except you, that has had my faith, always threw it away! I don't want it to happen again..."

"You had faith in your mother-"

"Yeah, and she promised me she would come home from the hospital, she promised she would get better...Look how far that got us..." Haruhi looked forlornly at the picture of her smiling mother.

Ranka sighed, kissing the top of Haruhi's head. Eventually, the young girl pulled away, then went out the door and off to school.

* * *

"Kao-chan!" The redhead turned to see Mori walking up to him, Honey perched comfortably on his shoulders. Forcing a smile, the younger boy replied, "Hey Honey-sempai, Mori-sempai."

The taller teen nodded as his blond cousin hopped off his shoulders. Honey walked up to Kaoru, a small package in his arms. He thrust it out towards Kaoru eagerly.

"Here you go, Kao-chan! Takashi and I noticed you've been a little down lately, so we made you a cake! I hope you like strawberry, I know I do!"

_Y-You...noticed?..._

"Um...Thanks, Honey-sempai. That's very kind of you. But, you know...I don't think I can finish _all_ this cake myself. I sure wish I had someone to help me eat it." Kaoru smiled mischievously as Honey smiled eagerly.

"I can help, Kao-chan!" Honey volunteered, tugging at the redhead's sleeve. Kaoru laughed, handing the package back to Honey.

"How about we split at Host Club today?" He asked. The small blond nodded happily, running into he school. Shaking his head, the twin went on his to the school as well, though at a much slower pace.

_See? I knew someone cared!_

_**I call bullshit.**_

_Fine. I didn't know it ALL the time, but I did doubt that the entire school didn't care._

_**Whatever you say. You know Honey doesn't have the longest attention spanned. Once you share your cake, that little idiot will just go on his merry way, thinking that he did all he could.**_

_If I know anything about Honey-sempai, it's that he's by no means stupid. _

_**While he may not be stupid, he's sure as hell oblivious. It took him HOW long to realize something was wrong with you?**_

_Shut up! No one else has noticed either..._

_**And yet earlier you said, "Oh, people care! I'm important!" If they care so damn much, why haven't they noticed?**_

_..._

_**That's what I thought. No one cares. If they did, they would've helped you by now.**_

_Wait...So, Honey does care!_

_***sigh* We just went over this, haven't we?**_

_Yea, you said if anyone cared, they would've done something by now! Well, Honey's doing something!_

_**...**_

Now wearing a triumphant smile, Kaoru walked into the pink building with a new found confidence. He strode into his classroom, sliding into his seat after placing his schoolbag next to his desk. He then leaned down, grabbed a book from his, and began to read contently as he waited for the bell to ring. It was strange to see such a simple thing as winning an argument in his head could make the teen so happy, but it was the first time in a long while that he felt as if he had accomplished something.

Just as he felt as if he were truly happy, he heard two voices that immediately tore his, finally joyful, heart in two. His eyes flicked up to see his twin and Haruhi walk in. They were holding hands and smiling as if yesterday had never happened. However, the second Hikaru spotted Kaoru, his smile dropped. His golden eyes gazed at him awkwardly, not knowing if he should speak up or stay quiet.

But, the bell decided that for him.

"Alright, class, take your seats. Today, we will continue our lesson on trigonometry."

* * *

The day went by painfully slow. So slow, that Kaoru was almost positive the clocks had stopped in Geography. He tiredly padded down the empty hall, heading towards the familiar music room. He quietly opened the pink doors, peeking in to see everyone dressed in old time-y clothing. The redhead blinked as he saw Hikaru and Haruhi sitting in the far corner, Hikaru wearing an old fashioned, blue suit and Haruhi wore a luxurious purple dress.

Tamaki turned, smiling happily at Kaoru's arrival, "Kaoru! I thought you weren't going to show!"

"Hey, boss, what happened to the cat cosplay?"

"Turns out, cats aren't as popular nowadays. That, and Tamaki accidentally set his cat ears on fire making ramen." Kyouya answered, giving Tamaki a disapproving look.

The 'King' waved a hand dismissively at the dark teen, "Anyway, we came up with a better idea! Because of Hikaru and Haruhi's relationship, we've decided to do a Romeo and Julliet theme! (**A/N: I would like to give Tamachankick10 credit for this amazing idea!**)

Kaoru's 'smile' twitched at this, asking in a strained tone, "Then, what's everyone going to be?"

Tamaki's smile disappeared, his blue eyes gazing at the redhead worriedly, "Well, um, we were just going to be random people from that time period. Like, I'm going to be the King, obviously, Kyouya is an executor, Honey is a prince (a very feminine prince), and Mori is a knight."

"What am I going to be?"

"You're going to be a poet. It's rather fitting with all the writing we see you doing." Kyouya replied. Kaoru nodded, walking towards the changing area. He walked in to see that on a small, red table laid a black, old fashioned suit with an orange undershirt.

Sighing, the young twin changed into the clothes, shivering slightly against the cold silk. He stood in front of the mirror for a while, scrutinizing his figure. He scowled at each flaw he found, knowing it was another thing that made Hikaru love Haruhi instead of him.

Haruhi had the perfect body for Hikaru. Soft, shiny brown hair. Innocent brown eyes that were big, but not so big that they were creepy. A loving, non-judgmental personality. Kaoru couldn't bring himself to hate her. She was just too...too perfect. He could see why Hikaru picked her over him. He had a horrid body. He had droopy, poorly spiked hair. His eyes were a disgusting yellow. He had an overly dramatic, highly sensitive personality. He saw nothing beautiful about himself.

Now, Hikaru, on the other hand, he saw as a god. His creamy orange hair always looked beautiful, complimenting his features no matter how messy. His golden eyes shined brightly with emotion, an expressive spark always present. His personality was as passionate as fire, warm and comforting when happy, destructive when angry, always dangerous with his mischievous ways. But, most of all, he was unpredictable. Just like a flame, when you expect him to do one thing, he could very well do the complete opposite.

Kaoru could think about Hikaru for hours. He could name every song on his brother's iPod, every noise that made him irritated, every show that he loved to watch. He could name every secret Hikaru had, some of them the older twin himself didn't know about.

He felt special knowing he was the only one who could ever be that close to him. He felt special when he thought of all the nights they lay in bed, just confessing to each other. Confessing secrets that they only trusted each other with.

But, seeing Hikaru with Haruhi, he knew Haruhi probably held just as many of Hikaru's secrets, perhaps even more. And, that's what hurt the most...

The fact that someone Hikaru had only known for five months was now more important. But...That leads him to wonder...

Has he ever really mattered?

* * *

**A/N: I know, I know, this is a horrible place to end, but I think it would be a good cliffhanger. Thank you to all of those reading and thank you once again to Tamachankick10 for the amazing idea. I'm always taking in ideas for cosplay for the host and I will absolutely give you guys credit (as you could see in the story). See ya, guys!**

**Reviews = Prussia will give you some of his awesomeness **

**(Prussia: No, I won't.**

**Me: Yea, you will.)**


	8. Dreams

**A/N: Hey, guys! Thank you to those who have reviewed. I'm sorry my updates have been coming up in at an irregular pace. The thing is, I have all of these awesome and dramatic ideas for later and have no idea what I'm supposed to do NOW. So, in other words, I'm a total barrel -.- Anyway, once again, you guys can share any ideas or cosplay fantasies you want (They very well might be included) but there are some rules. They must be realistic. Like, if anyone asks me to dress them as astronauts and blast them to the moon...You may be slightly disappointed. Do not suggest anything having to do with Kaoru going insane and/or killing someone. I feel that when people write Kaoru doing stuff like that, it is very out of character for him. I can see him being depressed, but not homicidal. Also, if you want me to put up a scene of the hosts cosplaying as characters from another anime or possibly a movie or TV show, please describe to me what you want each character to be and I will research especially for you. One more thing before I start this chapter is: I will gladly accept any constructive critism. I believe it will help me grow as a writer (considering I only started writing fanfictions this or technically last year, I still have a lot to learn as a writer). Now, without further ado, ENJOY~!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own OHSHC, or any of the songs used in this fanfic.**

* * *

_ In a world where fairy tales are lies and where happy endings are just the words at the back of the book, we cling to the idea of happiness. The thought of, 'One day, this will all be worth it.' In this cruel, demanding reality, we tell ourselves that it can only get worse before it gets better. Our dreams keep this idea alive, keeping us sane in our ever changing lives. But, even though our dreams are limitless and our imaginations are always teaming with new ideas, they, too, leave us eventually. When these dreams leave, you move onto the next, and learn to love that one until it, too, fades. It is the never ending cycle of our lives. But, when you come across a dream, a dream that makes you believe those sappy fairy tales and make you convinced those happy endings actually do come around, you never want to leave it. _

_But, sooner or later, that dream must also end. No matter how much you scream, or cry, or plead, it will continue to fade. It will slowly dissipate into your mind, being pulled into the limitless darkness, until your subconscious swallows it up. Sooner or later, those fairy tales make you sick, those happy endings just playing out the opening scene to the next tragedy.  
_

_Soon, your once pleasant, blissful dreams are turned into sick, heart-wrenching nightmares before your very eyes.  
_

_That is why I'm forgetting how to enjoy dreams. I can't bring myself to feel at peace when I know my happiness is just going to leave me. My dream, the one I had been having my whole life, it is slowly being dragged down by my subconscious. My beautiful, wonderful, enchanting dream is leaving me and entering someone else's mind. My pleading sobs are ignored, my trembling hand brushed to the side. In these moments, I wonder whether or not, if maybe I am the dream. That I am being abandoned by the mind I was sworn to protect and love. I am fading into oblivion, yet no one seems to notice.  
_

_Please...Somebody...  
_

_Remember me?**  
**_

* * *

Kaoru sighed as he walked back out to the main room, now donning his black and orange costume. He watched as everyone arranged themselves in front of the door, all of them pulling their lips up into 'host smiles' as they waited for the door to open. Just as an experiment, Kaoru did not go near the door. Instead, he quietly slipped onto the rather large window sill, gazing out at the beautiful rose maze.

He waited. He waited for someone to call him over, waited for someone to notice his absence. Mostly, he wanted someone to notice his pain, his silent suffering. He wanted **Hikaru** to notice.

But, his prayers were not answered. Soon, he could hear the mystical chorus of, "Welcome~" followed by excited giggles and swoons. The young twin didn't have to turn around to know Hikaru had led Haruhi to their Brotherly Love corner. He was surprised, though, when he felt a small tap on his shoulder.

Kaoru turned, looking up at the black haired girl. Next to the girl were two other ladies, one with blond hair and the other with red. The black haired girl stared at him for a moment, an obvious gleam of sympathy in her eyes, before she said, "Are you alright, Kaoru?"

"O-Of course, princess. I'm sorry for being so rude, those rose gardens are nothing compared to you beautiful, young ladies." While the two other girls blushed, the black haired girl was still unconvinced.

"Kaoru, if it makes you feel any better, we are totally against the whole 'Hikaru and Haruhi' thing."

The blond then added, "Yeah, Fusa certainly gave Hikaru her opinion."

The black haired girl blushed and said, "He was being a douche and you know it."

Kaoru smiled up at the girl, her bashful defensiveness reminded him of Hikaru. When she saw the smile, Fusa stopped, blinking at him for a moment, before asking, "Why don't you ask him to do the brotherly love act with you again?"

With a sigh, the redhead whispered, "...Because this makes him happy, and that is all I could ask for."

He looked over at Hikaru, managing to block out the squeals the emitted from the three girls. His once bright, golden eyes had diminished to a now murky, emotionless yellow. He swallowed the lump in his throat as his brother cradled the small brunette's face, squeezing his eyes shut before he saw Hikaru lean in and kiss Haruhi deeply.

But, what truly broke Kaoru that day, was the beautiful confession that escaped Hikaru's lips,

"Haruhi, although we've only met a short time ago, my heart quickens at the thought of you. Just as Juliet does to Romeo, I'm absolutely smitten by your charm and grace. I would die to keep us together. I shall love you forever, nothing in this world can tear us apart."

The three girls in front of Kaoru gasped, breaking the younger twin's trance. He looked at them weakly, silently asking them what was wrong. The red haired girl shakily pointed to Kaoru's arm and the answer became clear.

As his heart was torn from his chest by Hikaru's sickeningly sweet words to Haruhi, he had been gripping his arms much too tight. The black material began to grow slightly damp, a few crimson drops dripping onto the spotless floor.

"H-Hikaru..."

Then everything went black.

* * *

_My dream has ended. The carriage has turned back into a pumpkin, the occupants of the it smashing it into the ground. The clock's hands have passed my deadline. My fairy godmother has flown away. I can feel the burning, twisted jealously yank on my heart as I watch them walk away from me._

_My prince. My beautiful, handsome prince. I am but a humble servant, desperate to cater to your every whim. I have been beside you since we were first conceived. So please...Tell me, dear prince...  
_

_Why have you chosen her? Have I not completed my given tasks well enough? Have I not been loyal enough? Do I not have the body you desire? Am I simply...Not the one you love?  
_

_If that is the case, my beloved prince, I do not wish to stay any longer. I wish to leave and never return. Forgive me, sire, for I know this is selfish. I just can not stand the sight of you loving someone, I can not stand knowing that my love will never be returned. I can not waste any more of my days waiting for you to return to me, waiting for you to whisper those three sinful words into my ear with as much passion as you say them to her.  
_

_I'm afraid, my dear prince, that this is the end of the line. I promise to give you space, freedom, and peace. I promise to stop being a burden and that I will go away when she is present.  
_

_But, please my sweet, sweet prince...Please, won't you whisper those words to me?  
_

_Hikaru, my beloved prince, my only wish is to hold your hand once more.  
_

_Surely...That is not too much to ask?  
_

* * *

Hikaru paced outside of the nurse's office, chewing nervously on his bottom lip. Tamaki stood beside the door, once in a while pressing his ear to the wood whenever he heard someone speaking. Kyouya stood faithfully next to the blond, writing in his black notebook. Honey was perched on Mori's shoulders, hugging Usa-chan tightly to his chest. Haruhi sat against the wall, trying to convince Hikaru to sit down. However, every time she began to speak with Hikaru, Honey sent her a cold look, his brown eyes narrowed in anger.

After about a half an hour, the nurse's door finally opened to reveal a middle aged woman in white scrubs, holding a clipboard. Hikaru raced in front of her, his eyes widened in desperation.

"Please, is Kaoru okay?" He asked. The woman gave a slow nod before saying, "Physically speaking, he going to be fine."

Tamaki quirked an eyebrow and asked, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, while physically he is not seriously harmed, mentally he may...be unstable."

"W-What? What do you mean?!" Hikaru demanded. The nurse's eyes cast downward, her head shaking slightly.

"We've discovered cuts on your brother's arm...We're afraid he is...

Suicidal."

* * *

_Someone...Someone, help...I'm starting to drown...I can feel myself being pulled under. I cannot stay above this cold, unforgiving current. The warmth I once felt inside has washed away. I can't see anything but black..._

**Playground school bell rings...again.**_  
_

_I can see something in the distance. It is blurry, but I can still make out the picture. It is a memory of us, Hikaru. When we were five, sitting alone on that old, wooden bench.  
_

**Rainclouds come to play...again.**_  
_

_I can see the gloomy, gray clouds over us...Soft, white flurries gracefully landing in our orange hair.  
_

**Has no one told you she's not breathing?**_  
_

_Am I dead? Is my life flashing before my eyes? No...If it were, it would be much quicker...  
_

_**It's pathetic, really. How much you need your brother's attention and love, when you know he should be giving it to someone more deserving...**  
_

**Hello. I'm your mind...Giving you someone to talk to...  
**

_W-Who are you?_**  
**

_**The part of your mind that actually makes sense.**  
_

_You're the one making me think these things! Why are doing this to me?! Why can't you go away?! Mess with someone else's life!  
_

_**Oh, Kaoru, I always knew you weren't the brightest. You must know that it simply isn't possible...To run away from your own mind.  
**_

**Hello.  
**

* * *

**A/N: And, there's that! I think even though I didn't write that much, there was still a lot of things happening. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, the next one's going to do some major mind fucking with you guys. Please, tell me how I did on this, because I really want to know how you guys like this. Above, at the end, the letters in only BOLD are lyrics and the words in _BOLD AND ITALICS_ are the evil voice in Kaoru's head. Please review! It will greatly effect how fast I update.  
**

**The song I used was Hello by Evanescence.  
**

**Review = You get to go to the cake shop with Honey!  
**


	9. Comatose

**A/N: Hey, guys! So, thank you all for the awesome reviews, I'm glad that everyone is enjoying the story. Last chapter, I don't think the ending made the best of sense, so I'll just recap real quick for any of those who were confused. Basically, Kaoru was remembering the times of when it was just him and Hikaru in their own little world and how that's fading. The voice in his head is the same one that has been in there all along, it's just now Kaoru is really taking notice of its overwhelming presence in his mind and stuff like that. Sorry for any confusion I may have caused. The nurse scene didn't turn out very well either, I should've added more of an in-depth thing...Oh, well. Too late now. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, it's going to be rather angsty.**

**Disclaimer: I'm not worthy enough to own OHSHC**

* * *

Bright, white lights stung Kaoru's eyes as he regained consciousness. He felt his left arm had been wrapped in something, while his right arm was felt as if it were being poked by something sharp. Once Kaoru adjusted to the light, his golden orbs focused on his arms. As he had thought, the left was tightly wrapped with bandages, little dots of red indicated where his cuts were. He jumped when he noticed the lady at the right of his bed, causing the needle to go further into his arm. The nurse gave him an apologetic look as he hissed at pain.

Extracting the needle, the woman said, "I'm sorry if I woke you, Mr. Hitachiin."

"Where...Where am I?" Kaoru asked, rubbing his eye. The nurse blinked and said, "Sweetie, you blacked out. Your friends rushed in here, asking for help. Those cuts on your arm are very deep you know."

"Why...W-Why would I _faint_ though?"

"Your body was under a lot stress. That, plus the fact you were losing blood, it's no wonder it gave out." The nurse said, heading for the door, "Your friends are waiting outside to you. Do you want me to let them in?"

"U-Uh...Sure." Kaoru stuttered, watching the nurse leave nervously. It was obvious that the nurse probably told his friends about his cuts, he was dreading their reaction.

_O-Oh, man, they're going to freak! They'll ask so many questions! They'll think I'm nuts! Oh my god, Hikaru...Hikaru's going to kill me! We're not supposed to keep secrets from each other! How will he react? What's he going to do with me? What if he's mad? What if he's disgusted? What if- What if-!_

"Kaoru!" The redhead snapped his head back up, looking towards the door. The nurse from before stood there with a worried expression and said, "You don't have to have them visit if you're not up to it."

"N-No...They have the right to know what's going on...I can't...I can't hide forever, can I?" Kaoru muttered, letting himself lay back on the bed once more.

The nurse gave a slow nod, then left the room once more, closing the door behind her. A moment later there was a knock, then the door slowly swung open to reveal the host club.

Hikaru quickly rushed forward, stopping just short of his brother's bed. The twins stared at each other, neither knowing what to say.

Finally, Hikaru stepped forward and wrapped Kaoru in a warm hug. After a minute or two, he whimpered out, "W-Why?

The younger twin hesitantly hugged back, his eyes glazing over in tears as he replied, "I-It hurt too much..."

"What did? Whatever was hurting you, I can fix it. You shouldn't do this when so many people are here to help you, Kao."

_But no one's here to help me, Hika. Tamaki and Kyouya are always busy with the club. Honey wouldn't really understand the situation. I don't feel comfortable talking to Mori because he never talks back. You and Haruhi are too infatuated with each other to even acknowledge my existence. Mom's away on business, Dad's probably leaving soon as well...I have no one. No one's here to help. You left me alone our world Hika...You opened those gates and left without a second thought...Our world is freezing over, Hikaru. How come the only one who cares...Is me?_

Kaoru gave a heart-wrenching sob, burying his face into his brother's shoulder. His body trembled as he let out his emotions, his well fitted mask falling off of his face. Even with the comforting feel of Hikaru running his fingers through his hair, even with Tamaki's soothing hand rubbing his back, even with Honey slipping Usa-chan into his lap...

He felt completely and utterly alone.

* * *

It has been a week since that heartbreaking scene in the infirmary and it felt as if it had never happened. Like everyone just...Forgot. Honey was once again happily eating cake under Mori's protective gaze. Kyouya was professionally working on making sure the club's funds were in order. Hikaru and Haruhi continued to ignore the pain they were causing.

Although, it seemed like now, Tamaki was trying to spend more time with Kaoru. He invited the redhead over to his house, offered to take him to on new adventures through 'The World of Commoners'. Everyday, the blond would find Kaoru and ask him to do something with him. It seemed like the idiotic king was the only one who cared...

And, at the same time, it seemed like he didn't.

_**He isn't trying to fix the problem, he's trying to make you forget about it. That's not helping, it's being a distraction. He doesn't care enough to acknowledge the situation, he just doesn't want your depression to effect the club. This club is his pride and joy. He doesn't want it taken away by some whiny, depressing brat.**_

Along with the incident, Kaoru felt as if he, too, were being forgotten. He was bringing in less and less customers. Hikaru barely spoke to him, except for the times he wanted to talk about Haruhi. Just like the voice in his head had predicted, after Kaoru and Honey had shared some cake, the short senior had thought all was right with the world. Mori was constantly with Honey, so he obviously wasn't concerned with anything that didn't involve the sweet, little blond. Kyouya always held the profits at the club as his top priority. Well, until him and Tamaki got together. Now the club was his second priority. Although Tamaki invited the younger twin out often, the rest of the time he was too busy with other activities to be with him.

Kaoru felt like a robot. He felt as if he were just trying to get through each day, not trying to live in the moment. The cold he felt from loneliness and heartache made him feel numb. Once in a while, when Hikaru actually talked about something other than his girlfriend, a small flicker of life came back to Kaoru's eyes. But, as of this moment, he felt as if he were nothing. Just something that was there to be there. Like his only purpose was to fill that empty spot on the white canvas, because the artist had run out of ideas.

He was just the reflection of a face that wasn't there...

* * *

Hikaru zoned out as Haruhi went on and on about a sale that she wanted to go to after school. He couldn't think of a conversation more boring. Actually, he could; This morning she was telling him in detail about the next test that was coming up and what notes she would let him borrow.

_Conversations with Kaoru were never this boring...We always had something interesting to talk about..._

He was decisively ignoring the annoying little voice in his head that was saying, "_You were the one who chose her over him._"

He snapped back into reality when Haruhi yelled, "Hikaru!"

"What? What happened?"

"I've called your name at least ten names. Come on, it's time to go to lunch." The brunette said, taking his hand in her own. The redhead sighed and followed his girlfriend down the hall, his thoughts returning to his little brother once more.

No one would ever be able to being to understand how scared, how _terrified_ he was when he heard about his brother. No one could understand the horrible ache in his heart when he saw those bandages wrapped around that pale arm. No one could ever know how many tears he cried that night from the empty look the filled his brother's once emotion-filled gaze.

He didn't know what to do. Hikaru told Haruhi he would spend more time with her, but at the same time, his brother was suffering. He spent so much time with Haruhi, mostly just as time to think, to try and figure out what in the heck he should do. He didn't know how to deal with this situation. He thought Haruhi was his one true love...But, after experiencing the fear and pain of Kaoru no longer being in by his side, thinking that he'll no longer being able to remember the times he spent with his baby brother without feeling the need to cry...

Suddenly...His love for Haruhi started to feel confusing. Not confusing, like he couldn't tell what his feelings toward the brunette were. But, confusing like...There was more than one person he had these feelings for.

_That...That can't be the case! Everyone knows you can only really fall in love for one person s-so why...Why do I feel like this? And, out of all the people in the world, why do I have to feel these things...For him?_

* * *

Kaoru laid on his bed motionless. He didn't go to school today. He knew no one would care, or even notice. He hadn't eaten anything either. His appetite seemed to go away every time he even thought of food. No, he wasn't starving himself, not trying to anyway, he just wasn't hungry.

None of the servants questioned his want of staying home. All of them had noticed the changes in his attitude, they had expected that he wouldn't want to go to school. One of the butlers was given the horrid task of answering the saddened teen when he asked, "Do you know where my father is?"

Kaoru had wanted to talk to his dad face to face. He was the only person in his family he could talk to, the person who had the even the slightest ability to tell what was going on. But, alas, when he had asked the butler, the reply he got ripped his already torn apart heart into even smaller pieces.

"I'm sorry, young master, but your father was called away on business. He should be returning from Germany in about three weeks."

And now, as he laid staring staring motionlessly up at the ceiling, he wondered what Hikaru was doing.

_Is he with Haruhi?_

_**Probably.**_

_I wonder if their act is popular..._

_**Are you kidding? The last time you were there, the girls were practically having orgasms watching them.**_

_I wonder if he's happy..._

_**He's with Haruhi, what the hell do you think? Probably having the time of his life right now.**_

_Does...Does he miss me?_

_**Ha! Probably doesn't notice that you're gone! He barely takes his eyes off of Haruhi long enough to tell you he's ditching you to be with her.**_

_...Won't you ever leave me be? What's the point of adding to my pain?_

_**Idiot, I am your pain. I'm your pent up anger, you hidden depression. I'm all of the feelings no one cares enough to ask you about. I'm your heart that was ripped to shreds.**_

A lone tear slid down his face, the only trace of sadness on the emotionless teen.

* * *

I hate feeling like this  
I'm so tired of trying to fight this  
I'm asleep and all I dream of

Is waking to you  
Tell me that you will listen  
Your touch is what I'm missing  
And the more I hide I realize I'm slowly losing you

Comatose  
I'll never wake up without an overdose of you

_[Chorus:]_  
I don't wanna live  
I don't wanna breathe  
'les I feel you next to me  
you take the pain I feel  
waking up to you never felt so real  
I don't wanna sleep  
I don't wanna dream  
'cause my dreams don't comfort me  
The way you make me feel  
Waking up to you never felt so real

I hate living without you  
Dead wrong to ever doubt you  
But my demons lay in waiting  
Tempting me away  
Oh how I adore you  
Oh how I thirst for you  
Oh how I need you

Comatose  
I'll never wake up without an overdose of you

_[Chorus]_

Breathing life  
Waking up  
My eyes open up

Comatose  
I'll never wake up without an overdose of you

_[Chorus]_

Oh how I adore you  
Waking up to you never felt so real  
Oh how I thirst for you  
Waking up to you never felt so real  
Oh how I adore you, ohhhh  
The way you make me feel  
Waking up to you never felt so real

* * *

**A/N: So, what do ya think? Good? Bad? I don't think it's as good as last chapter, but still...Decent, I guess. Um, I'm not trying to make Hikaru look like a jerk, by any means, the reason he isn't spending time with Kaoru is because just as confused (if not more) as him. And as for the rest of the hosts, I'll be posting their feelings on the matter in the next chapter. Thanks for reading, please review!**

**The song I used is Comatose by Skillet**

**Reviews = Five cats for five Deutsch Marks a Arby's!**


	10. Exist

**A/N: Hey, guys! I'm so sorry for the long wait! I haven't had access to a computer for a while. School is kicking my ass hardcore right now. But, it's all good! I have pocky and an England plushie so I say, "BRING IT ON!" I was thinking about adding a chapter later on where the host club members do a cosplay focused on the band Blood on the Dance Floor, but I'm not sure whether or not if that will be a good idea. So, I'm going to open a poll on my profile page, anyone can vote! Please put in your votes by the end of this month because that is when I will be making the decision. Thank to all of those who have reviewed and here's to many more chapters to come! (Seriously, I'm planning on making this story at the very least 20 chapters long). Enjoy~!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own OHSHC...T-T**

**Warning: Kyouya may be slightly OOC  
**

* * *

_Have you ever wondered what life would be like if you didn't exist? Surely I can't be the only one. I mean, if you didn't exist, no one would know the difference, because you were never there in the first place. Would everyone be happy? Would everyone be different? Would your family still be the same? _

_I know Hikaru's life would be different. He wouldn't have to carry the burden of having me, an overly dependent, younger brother, on his shoulders. He would have so much more than our cold, decaying world. He would be free to live, and laugh, and be his own person. He would be free to live with Haruhi, and someday have a family of his own, without the having to worry about his pathetic excuse for a twin._

_The host club wouldn't have an extra member. After Haruhi comes into their life, they'll have the perfect amount of members. They won't have to concern themselves with the depressed, pouting boy sitting in the corner. But...Then again..._

_If I wasn't there, would Hikaru even be in the host club? The reason we joined was because Tamaki wanted to get us out of our little world. But, even if I wasn't there, Tamaki would still find a reason to have Hikaru join. Whether it be his immaturity, or his cynical nature, or just his good-looks alone, there would be way for Hikaru to join the host club._

_I'm not needed in this life any longer...Haruhi has filled every space I once occupied. I have been replaced by this extraordinary girl with large chocolate eyes and sleek, brown hair. It is obvious why Hikaru chose her over me. There's simply no comparison. I have been left behind. _

_Not even a fairy god mother can save me now. I am standing alone, in this cold, dying field of grass, holding a muddy, yucky, decaying pumpkin in my shaking hands. My once peaceful, beautiful world has been reduced to nothing short of a graveyard. Yet, outside my rusted, metal gates, no one spares me even a passing glance. Not even __he__ will look at me. Not when she is there with him._

_And now, as I stand in my broken world, I still find myself wondering..._

_Would it really matter if I didn't exist?_

* * *

"Takashi?"

The dark haired teen turned to look at his cousin, his onyx-colored eyes watching with concern as the smaller boy hugged his bunny to his chest.

"Takashi...Do you think Kao-chan will be alright? I know that the cake we brought him...Didn't really do much. The only thing that seems to make him feel better is Hika-chan, but...He's always with Haru-chan. And, even though Haru-chan is being kinda mean, all she wants is Hika-chan's attention..."

"Hm."

"I think...I think Hika-chan and Haru-chan should break up." At this, Mori's normally stoic face lifted into one of surprise, "It's not that Hika-chan and Haru-chan look bad together, it's just...I don't they're not really fit for one another. I think Hika-chan should be with Kao-chan."

"Why would you say that?"

"...Because...Hika-chan smiled more when he was with Kao-chan, than now when he's with Haru-chan..."

"...It looks like it's now up to Hikaru to decide what will happen..."

* * *

"Kyouya?"

"What is it?"

"Am I a bad person?"

"What are you going on about now?" Kyouya sighed, turning his chair to look at the blond. Tamaki laid, sprawled out, on the couch. His blue eyes stared off into nothing, a forlorn look filling their dream-like gaze.

"I'm the president of this club, the father of this family. I should be helping Kaoru, yet it seems like I've been nothing but a hindrance." Tamaki replied, his voice sounding tired.

"Tamaki, you can't honestly expect yourself to be able to fix everyone's problems," Kyouya stated, adjusting his glasses, "There are some things in this world that you simply cannot help."

"But that doesn't mean I can't try!" The blond retorted, suddenly sitting up, "Our host club is a family, Kyouya! Family helps one another in times of need! As the father, I should be doing all that I can to help my son with his current situation! I should be able to show him some guidance through his troubles!"

"Tamaki," The blond stopped at the vice-president's cold tone, "Could it be that you're concerning yourself so deeply into Kaoru's problems with his brother...As a way to express what you wish your father would do for you?"

Tamaki bowed his head, his blond hair covering his, now glistening, eyes, "...Why...Why would you say that?"

Kyouya chuckled, shaking his head slightly as he replied, "You make it so obvious."

"Father...Father has just been busy with his company, that's all. And...And my grandmother just wants to make sure I am well suited to take over the family business."

With a sad, uncharacteristic smile, Kyouya stood and walked over to the couch. He bent down in front of the blond and put a comforting hand on his back. With a gentle tone, he said, "Tamaki, your father doesn't understand what you want from him. If you just talked to him, perhaps he could assist you with convincing your grandmother to take over the business."

Tamaki, with a shuddering breath, nodded and said, "Alright...But, only if you're there with me."

"What kind of wife would I be if I wasn't." With that, the raven-haired teen pressed a light kiss to Tamaki's cheek.

* * *

"How was school today, Haruhi?" Ranka asked, nibbling on a piece of sushi. The brunette across from him swallowed her piece of maguro nigiri and replied, "It was...Alright."

"Are you sure? You've been rather quiet."

Haruhi sighed, "Well, it's just...Hikaru seems distracted lately. Kaoru has been acting strange as well...I don't know. I was rather hard on him, I should apologize...To both of them."

Ranka blinked and asked, "What do you need to apologize for?"

"I...I've done some rather hurtful things and...It's about time I took responsibility for my actions."

"...You tried to make him choose between yourself and his brother, didn't you?" Taking the shocked expression as a yes, Ranka continued, "Please, dear, don't be so surprised, I am your father after all. What you did was very wrong, but I am glad the you realize the errors of your ways. I want you to talk to both of them first thing tomorrow morning, Haruhi."

"Don't worry, Dad, it's going to be the first thing I do before class. I promise." And with that, the meal continued in silence. Although, even with the assumed '_solution_' to the problem, Haruhi couldn't help but think:

_Even when I apologize to them...This isn't going to be over by a long shot..._

* * *

_Oh, man, what do I do? What do I do?! I love Haruhi, but I don't want to lose Kaoru! How am I supposed to keep them both happy, if what ever I do causes them to hate each other?! Okay, Hikaru, think: Kaoru wants you to pay more attention to him. Haruhi wants you to pay more attention to her. Either way, you're royally fucked...UGH! What the hell do they expect from me?!...Maybe...THAT'S IT! What if I bring Kaoru on a date with me and Haruhi! That way, I can pay attention to both of them at the same time!  
_

_But, what if Kaoru feels ignored when I try being romantic with Haruhi?...Hm...Maybe this wasn't such a good idea...Well, I can't think of anything else. Maybe it could be like one of those non-romantic dates! No...No, that would be hanging out with a friend...Is there such a thing as non-romantic dates?...Maybe if you- FOCUS, HIKARU. Your girlfriend and twin brother are on the line!  
_

_I'll...I'll just have to make do with this plan. Maybe if I spend half of the time with Kaoru and the other half with Haruhi, it will all be fine! But...During those times, one of them will feel ignored, potentially causing one of them to get upset and possibly leave!  
_

_Kami! What the hell do I do?!...Okay, you know what, I'm gonna do it. I'm going to ask Haruhi and Kaoru to go on a date with me, and they're going to come, AND THEY'RE GOING TO FUCKING ENJOY IT, GODDAMMIT!  
_

_...I really am crazy, aren't I?  
_

* * *

Hikaru huffed, falling face first into his mattress. After that small, mental rant, he felt drained. School was a major pain in the butt, spending all day talking to Haruhi about tests and sales on vegetables while a group of screeching fangirls was gushing over you in the background really did take a toll on you. Not to mention the fact his brother had practically gone mute, except for the times when teachers called on him in class. His twin didn't even acknowledge the fangirls when they tried talking to him. Lately, his ratings in the club had gone down at an alarming rate. The only guests that still asked for Kaoru was the redhead, the blond, and that snarky black-haired girl who almost bit his head off a while ago.

Hikaru groaned, burying his face into his pillow. What had happened to his life? One moment he was enjoying everyday to the fullest, with his baby brother at his side to help cause mayhem. He had finally gotten the courage to ask Haruhi out. Everything was perfect. Then, these stupid feelings had to come and ruin everything. Kaoru started to seem..._feminine_ in Hikaru's eyes. Soon, he found himself thinking of Kaoru in the same way as he thought of Haruhi! Which, in his opinion, was wrong on _so_ many levels. Besides, Haruhi was his girlfriend. He should be spending all of his time thinking about her and only her! Then...Then, Kaoru had started changing in the most heartbreaking way Hikaru could ever imagine, and...and...

"Ugh...If this isn't a cluster-fuck, I don't know what is..." The redhead swore, getting up from his bed. He slowly trudged into his closet, changed into his dark blue pajamas, then walked tiredly out the door. He padded quietly down the hall to the kitchen, silently praying he wouldn't wake anyone.

Halfway down the hall, though, he paused outside the bathroom door. He curiously looked down to see a small, sliver of light pour out from beneath the door. Hesitantly, he raised a hand and knocked on the door.

"Occupied..." Came the quiet reply.

"Kaoru? Is that you?" Hikaru asked, pressing his ear to the door.

"I-I'll be out in a minute, Hikaru!"

"Are you okay?"

"Y-Yea, I'm fine! Why do you ask?"

"You seem kinda...Jumpy."

"I, u-uh, had a bad dream!"

"Oh...Do you want to sleep with me tonight? It has been kinda lonely since you started sleeping in the other room." Hikaru said in a slightly teasing, yet sincere voice.

"I-It's alright, Hika, I-I can handle i-it..."

"What are you doing in there?"

"N-Nothing..."

"Then, why don't you come out?"

"I told you, I'll be out in a minute."

"If you're not doing anything in there, why not come out now?"

"Hikaru, please, I want to be left alone."

"Kaoru, just open the door. You've been acting strange and it's really starting to worry me. Open the door and we can talk this out."

"N-No! Why don't you just leave me alone and go be with Haruhi!"

"Who said anything about Haruhi? What's your problem with her anyways?"

The accusation was met with silence as the red-haired twin stood at the bathroom door, waiting expectantly for an answer. A minute passed and no sound could be heard from the other side of the door.

Very careful, as to not alarm the other, Hikaru called out, "K-Kaoru? You okay?"

_THUD._

"KAORU!"

* * *

_Kaoru...Haruhi...Please...What do you want from me?..._

* * *

_Hey, slow it down  
Whataya want from me  
Whataya want from me  
Yeah, I'm afraid  
Whataya want from me  
Whataya want from me_

_There might have been a time_  
_When I would give myself away_  
_(Ooh) Once upon a time_  
_I didn't give a damn_  
_But now here we are_  
_So whataya want from me_  
_Whataya want from me_

_Just don't give up_  
_I'm workin' it out_  
_Please don't give in_  
_I won't let you down_  
_It messed me up, need a second to breathe_  
_Just keep coming around_  
_Hey, whataya want from me_  
_Whataya want from me_  
_Whataya want from me_

_Yeah, it's plain to see_  
_That baby you're beautiful_  
_And there's nothing wrong with you_  
_It's me, I'm a freak_  
_But thanks for lovin' me_  
_Cause you're doing it perfectly_

_There might have been a time_  
_When I would let you slip away_  
_I wouldn't even try but I think_  
_You could save my life_

_Just don't give up_  
_I'm workin' it out_  
_Please don't give in_  
_I won't let you down_  
_It messed me up, need a second to breathe_  
_Just keep coming around_  
_Hey, whataya want from me_  
_Whataya want from me_  
_Whataya want from me_

_Just don't give up on me_  
_I won't let you down_  
_No, I won't let you down_

_So_  
_Just don't give up_  
_I'm workin' it out_  
_Please don't give in_  
_I won't let you down_  
_It messed me up, need a second to breathe_  
_Just keep coming around_  
_Hey, whataya want from me_

_Just don't give up_  
_I'm workin' it out_  
_Please don't give in_  
_I won't let you down_  
_It messed me up, need a second to breathe_  
_Just keep coming around_  
_Hey, whataya want from me_  
_(Whataya want from me)_  
_Whataya want from me_  
_Whataya want from me_

* * *

**A/N: And there's**** that. Sorry, I know this chapter sucked really badly, but I wanted to do one that focused on someone other than Kaoru (which was sort of impossible for me). So, to make the plot slightly thicker, I added in some drama with Tamaki and how he wishes he had his father's support in trying to convince his grandmother to love him. I always saw Tamaki's situation as he wants his grandma to love and accept him more than he wants the business. Anyway, please check out my poll on the whole Blood on the Dance Floor chapter, it is seriously up to you guys on whether or not I will actually post it. Okay, well that's all for today. Stay awesome!**_  
_

**Reviews = Pocky! (I have strawberry or chocolate)  
**


	11. Envy

**A/N: Hey, guys! Um, so, once again, I'm sorry for the dreadfully late update. I already had a basic idea for this chapter, along with events to happen as sort of like...Side plots, I guess? Anyway, I just didn't know how to make it all blend together. So, I've decided that for the good of the story, I shall set aside my hate for Haruhi and not make her a bitch! (For me, this is the ultimate sacrifice...There's just so much for me to dislike about her.) Again, I'm sorry for the late update. This chapter should be obnoxiously long though (Just short of 3,000 words), so no worries. Oh, I'll also be spelling Kyouya as Kyoya from now on. Mostly because that's closer to the actual spelling of his name. ENJOY~!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own OHSHC...(Goes into corner of rejection)**

* * *

"Sir, please, calm do-"

"Let me see my brother! I need to know that he's okay!" Hikaru demanded, violently trying to wretch himself from Mori's grasp.

The second Kaoru had hit the floor, Hikaru had ordered a maid to unlock the door. He then desperately called 911, grasping his brother's hand tightly. His heart broke as he waited for the ambulance, watching as his dear brother laid in a growing pool of crimson.

"Hikaru," Kyoya cut in, "They will let you see him once he is well enough for visitors. Although, if you continue to be a disturbance, you will be forced to leave."

"Shadow King..." Hikaru grumbled, going limp in Mori's arms. The quiet teen hesitantly released the twin, watching him carefully in case he tried anything.

"It's okay, Hika-chan. Kao-chan just needs to take a nap and then he'll be all better. He's going through a lot, too, right now. Being sad won't help him be happy. So smile, 'kay?" Honey said, sending Hikaru a reassuring smile.

Hikaru nodded numbly, his golden eyes staring at the tiled flooring. The waiting room of the hospital was deathly silent. The only people in the room, besides the host members, was the secretary, a pregnant woman, a two year old little girl, and an elderly man.

"Ootori-san?" Kyoya turned to see a middle aged doctor with grim expression on his face.

"Yes? How is he?"

"It seems that Mr. Hitachiin has been cutting himself due to depression. The other times, he has gotten lucky that he hasn't severely wou-"

"Lucky?! How on the world can he be considered lucky?! HE COULD HAVE FUCKING DIED-!"

"Hikaru!" The redhead stopped short when he heard Tamaki's harsh tone. He only ever used it when something very serious were happen, "You know what the doctor meant. Now, let the man speak."

The doctor cleared his throat and continued, "Anyway, Mr. Hitachiin manage to avoid any arteries or veins, well...Until now anyway. It seems his brother got to him just in time."

Hikaru visibly deflated, eyes widened in shock at how close he was to losing his brother.

"I'm sorry, but due to his fragile emotional state, only family can be permitted to see him."

Kyoya nodded to Hikaru, stepping aside so the younger teen could follow the man. Hikaru followed the doctor down the long hallway. He tried to ignore the distant sounds of crying and beeping that seemed to echo off the hospital's walls. Then the doctor turned the corner, went down four doors, and pulled out a key.

He knocked once, earning a feeble, "C-Come in..."

The doctor carefully unlocked and opened the door for Hikaru, whispering in his ear, "You have until 10:00."

The teen nodded understandingly, walking into the room. He didn't even register the sound of the door closing, the crash of medical instruments being dropped in the hall, or even the wail of a cancer patient's mother.

All he could see and hear, was Kaoru. His pale skin almost matched the crisp white sheets. His golden eyes had faded and become a distant, detached yellow. His beautiful orange hair had lost its shine, its spikes now drooping. His fragile, skinny arms were wrapped tightly in bandages, a few red splotches from where the cuts were still too sensitive to touch.

"K-Kaoru?"

"Hika..."

Tears began to run down Hikaru's face as he ran forward, tightly embracing his brother. His shoulders shook as he heaved broken sobs into his brother's neck. Kaoru blinked, slowly wrapping his arms around Hikaru as well.

"W-What...What were y-you thinking?...You could've died!" Hikaru wailed into Kaoru's neck, tears flooding his eyes.

Kaoru gave a sad smile and asked quietly, "...Would it really be so bad if I did?"

Then, everything stopped. Hikaru went silent, his shaking, his wailing, his tears, his bone-crushing hug...Everything stopped. Then, the older twin let go of his brother, his bangs casting a mysterious shadow over his eyes. Without warning, he slammed his fist onto the bedside table, managing to making a large hole in the wood.

Kaoru jumped, gripping his blankets tightly. His golden orbs watched fearfully as Hikaru grit his teeth and said in a deathly low voice, "Would it really be that bad?...Do you honestly have the guts to ask me something like that?"

Kaoru remained silent.

"Well?...DO YOU?!" Hikaru screeched, his hand once again punched the table. This time, the entire thing crumbled to the floor. Kaoru let out a small whimper at the deafening crash.

"DON'T YOU EVER, **EVER** SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN! KAORU, I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU EVEN SUGGEST SOMETHING LIKE THAT, THAT I WOULDN'T CARE IF YOU WERE GONE, I'D GO TO THE AFTERLIFE, DRAG YOUR GHOST ASS BACK HERE, HAVE YOU COME BACK TO LIFE, JUST TO KILL YOU ALL OVER AGAIN! DO YOU HONESTLY THINK I WOULDN'T BLINK AN EYE AT YOUR DEATH? I WAS ALMOST SENT TO REHAB OVER **THIS**! HOW THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I'D FEEL IF YOU WERE...if you were..." Hikaru sighed, not able to finish his sentence. Kaoru shook slightly, his twin's booming voice echoing in his ears, he was clutching the blanket to his chest in fear of what would happen next.

Hikaru looked up, his eyes widening in horror at the sight of his brother so fearful of him, "K-Kaoru? I-It's...I'm sorry...Don't...Don't be afraid."

Slowly, as to not frighten the other further, Hikaru walked forward and gently wrapped his arms around his brother. Kaoru flinched, yet relaxed as he looked into Hikaru's loving gaze. Then, the dam had burst.

Kaoru clung to Hikaru, sobbing into his chest. An array of mumbles along the lines of, "I'm sorry", "I won't do it again", and "Please, don't be mad" filled the air. Hikaru began to gently rock his twin back and forth, whispering, "Sh, it's okay, Kaoru. Everything's going to be okay now."

_**Like hell it will. Once Haruhi comes back around, you'll just go on your marry way, fucking her like there**_**_'s no _****_tomorrow._**

"Sh-Shut up..." Kaoru whimpered. Hikaru gave him a hurt look and said, "Kao, I-"

"Not you..."

Hikaru's eyes widened in realization. He tenderly lifted Kaoru's head so he could look into his eyes and asked, "Are you...Hearing voices, Kaoru?"

_**Hikaru and Kaoru, living in their world~**_

_**B-O-N-D-I-N-G~**_

_**First, comes Haruhi~**_

_**Then, comes Heartbreak~**_

_**Then, comes Kaoru in a pumpkin **__**carriage~**_

_Seriously? What the fuck._

"Kaoru?" Hikaru asked, his concern increasing at his twin's blank stare, "Kaoru, are you alright?"

"H-Huh? Oh, I'm fine, Hika..." Kaoru said, forcing himself to give a small smile.

"Kao, you still haven't answered my question." Hikaru said, his face entirely serious.

"...H-Hikaru...If I tell you, don't freak out or anything, okay?" Kaoru said, looking down at his lap.

Hikaru sighed, tilting Kaoru's head so that he was looking at him once more, and said, "Kaoru, I swear. No matter what you do or say, I will always love you. Forever and always, remember?"

Kaoru mumbled quietly, making whatever he said incomprehensible.

"What?"

"I...I-I said...Yes." Kaoru answered, bowing his head in shame. Hikaru smiled sadly and said, "I swear to you, Kaoru, I won't let anyone or anything hurt you. If those voices try and make you hurt yourself, just come to me and I promise, I'll understand. But, you have to promise me something too."

"What is it, Hika?" Kaoru asked, looking up curiously.

"I want you to swear on _my_ life that will never do anything like this again. Because if you do, I will cut my self until we have the exact same amount of scars, are we clear?"

"B-But, Hi-"

"Are. We. Clear?"

"...Yes, Hikaru. I swear on your life and on mine that I will never do this again."

Hikaru smiled warmly at his little brother, burying his nose into his hair. With a small squeeze, he murmured, "Thank you..."

And, for the first time in months, Kaoru smiled and thought,

_Maybe...I don't need a fairy god mother...Maybe...I can just use a star instead._

* * *

_I've noticed many things since I've began this horrid depression. It is that, whenever we feel our happiest, that is when we become arrogant and naive. We foolishly think that just because life is happy-go-lucky now, that it will always be this way. That is, until we fall. We fall because we are so absorbed in our happy, delusional fantasies that we don't see that giant crack heading right for us. _

_I will not be one of those people._

_I've been tricked one too many times to let myself fall again!_

_I love Hikaru. Love him with every fiber of my being. He has my life in his hands and, even though he doesn't mean to, he keeps tampering with it. _

_I love you, Hikaru._

_And, even though you've promised me what I've always dreamed of, please do not be insulted when I say...  
_

_I will keep using precautions until you show me and everyone else it is still our world; and, more importantly, you love me more than **her**._

* * *

*Three Days Later*

It was Thursday. Today, Kaoru would be going back to school after missing at least a week due to his depression. He thanked God that the school uniforms had long sleeves. If they didn't, who knows what the Ouran fangirls would do. The younger twin could picture their horrified faces as they asked, "Does it hurt?", "Oh, you poor thing!", "It's okay, you still have us and Hikaru!", "Can I sign your bandages?", "*gasp* Is that blood?!"

The last imaginary squeal made Kaoru chuckle at the stupidity of the question. There truly was no limit to the psychopathic, delusional minds of the Host Club's self proclaimed: "Fangirl Army". But, even with the fangirls and the loving, fun atmosphere of the Host Club, Kaoru still felt as if life wasn't all that great.

And he was right.

"Kaoru," The redhead was startled out of his thoughts at the sound of his twin's voice, "Come on, sleepyhead! We gotta get to homeroom!"

"Coming, coming." Kaoru said, grabbing his schoolbag. He thanked the driver and hurried to catch up with Hikaru, waving at some of the girls who greeted him.

"Slow down, Hika! What's the ru-"

"Morning, Haruhi!" Hikaru said, not hearing his brother. Kaoru's jog quickly diminished to a joyless trudge.

That. That was why life isn't great.

"Good morning, Hikaru," Haruhi said, hugging Hikaru back. She looked around him, spotting a sadly smiling Kaoru, "Hey, Kaoru...Listen, you guys. I just...I wanted to say I'm sorry. I was very out of line. It was wrong of me to try and split you two up just because of my past experiences, and I just...I'm sorry."

Hikaru didn't answer, simply turned and looked at Kaoru. The younger twin had a look of shock on his face. He stood frozen, his golden eyes wide, before breaking into a small smile. A slightly fake, slightly real smile.

"It's...okay, Haruhi. I know I can be kind of clingy." The redhead blushed.

Haruhi blinked, letting go of Hikaru. The fangirls who 'just happened' to be there stopped and watched in baited breath as Haruhi slowly walked towards Kaoru.

Kaoru blinked in confusion as Haruhi stopped just in front of him, the two staring at each other for a minute. Then, out of nowhere, Haruhi leaned forward and wrapped Kaoru in a tight hug.

The redhead blinked, not fully knowing what to do, before hugging the brunette back. When they broke apart, the short teen smiled him and his brother, then said, "Come on, guys. We don't want to be late."

Hikaru and Haruhi began walking together, starting up a conversation about the new, and very annoying, Gym teacher. Kaoru stood still, rooted to the spot. He watched as the couple walked away, watched as their shapes got smaller and smaller, until disappearing into the school.

_Why...Why did she apologize? Sh-  
_

The first bell sounded, alerting Kaoru out of his thoughts. His eyes widened in realization before he bolted towards the school, looking at the bell tower clock in panic.

* * *

**(A/N: This last part of the chapter is dedicated to Tamachankick10, because this was her idea. You're AMAZING!)**

The last bell, much to Kaoru's relief, finally rung. He slowly packed his bag, not exactly in any hurry to get to the Host Club. When the room was empty, he stood and walked silently to the door. As he walked down the hall to the music room, Kaoru began to wonder if Hikaru had fun at the club without him.

Who was he kidding? Of course he did.

With a depressed sigh, Kaoru found himself sighing a lot now, he began to hurry a bit more to club, not exactly wanting to have their 'King' scream in his face again. Once he reached the abandoned room, he opened the door and stepped in.

Inside, everyone was dressed in different colored kimonos. Tamaki was dressed in a stunning yellow, Kyoya a murky green, Honey a somewhat light brown, Mori a midnight blue, Hikaru a deep violent, and Haruhi a brilliant red.

"Ah, Kaoru! You made it!" Tamaki said joyfully. He took Kaoru by the wrist and led him over to the changing rooms, where Kyoya was currently standing.

"What's today's theme?" Kaoru asked.

"The Seven Deadly Sins!" Tamaki said, attempting to make his voice mysterious.

Kyoya rolled his eyes and explained, "Each of us is a deadly sin. Tamaki is pride, Honey-sempai is gluttony, Mori-sempai is sloth, Haruhi is wrath, and Hikaru is lust."

Kaoru twitched slightly at his twin's sin.

"And Kyoya is greed!" Tamaki cheered, throwing an arm around his black-haired friend.

"Then, what am I?"

Tamaki went silent, awkwardly looking at his feet. Kyoya shook his head and deadpanned, "You're envy."

Kaoru blinked, not fully taking in the situation; then, his eyes narrowed into a deadly glare, "And what _exactly_ is that supposed to mean?"

Kyoya smirked and said, "Interpret it however you'd like."

With a huff, Kaoru stormed into the changing room and slammed the door behind him.

* * *

"Oh, Haruhi, the way that kimono shows off your body...It should be sin as for me not to lust for you." Hikaru cooed, cradling her face in his hands.

Kaoru glared at them, his facing turning slightly red from frustration. He didn't have any customers that day. The usual three girls who still asked for him apparently had to work on a project. It wasn't like Kaoru was becoming attached to them or anything, but...The company was nice.

All of the hosts were busy entertaining their guests, all of them unaware of Kaoru's inner-turmoil. The redhead just sat alone on his loveseat, his silky, lime-green kimono seeming colder on his skin.

_Why do I even bother with this? I'm of no use to anyone here...Hikaru may not want me to end my life, but that doesn't mean I should be spending it somewhere I'm not even needed. This Host Club...It's opened up so many doors for me, but...At the same time...It has shut many others._

Kaoru sighed, sparing Hikaru and Haruhi one more glance before finally coming to a conclusion. He stood up and strode over to Tamaki's 'Host Area'. Of course, the handsome blond had just about six girls with him at the moment and at least eight others still waiting their turn. But, right now, Kaoru didn't care.

He poked Tamaki's shoulder, causing the blond to turn and ask, "What is it, Kaoru?"

"Tamaki, I'm sorry, but..."

Hikaru looked over to the 'King' and his brother just in time to hear,

"...I'm quitting the Host Club."

* * *

**A/N:...And that's all she wrote. Literally! (*nuked*) I know, that was horrible. Once again, thank you Tamachankick10! I would've never been able to think up that amazing idea on my own! You're awesome sauce! Um, so, yea. I would like to thank everyone who is currently following along with the story, it means a lot, and I hope you enjoy my future chapters. Well, until next time, STAY AWESOME, BROS!**

**Review = You get a membership to the Snuggle Kitty Club! =^.^=**


	12. Feelings

**A/N: Hey, guys. Well, second day in a row I'm home sick so I may as well update. This chapter may suck because I haven't eaten in two days, so I have no guarantee on the quality of this chapter. Um...I'm really glad that you guys liked the previous chapter and thank you for those who gave critiques and/or suggestions. The reason some chapters take longer than others to write/put up on FanFiction is because I usually take one or two days to come up with/develop an idea for a chapter, decide whether or not I want to put in a song of some sort, think of side-plots to go along with the main plot of the story, and finally put all of that together in words. That, or sometimes I'm swamped with schoolwork (I had three projects for three different subjects due yesterday). Okay, just thought I should explain why some chapters were super later and why some weren't. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: ...Nope. If I did own OHSHC, this story would've been happening in the anime/manga...That or Haruhi wouldn't exist in the first place.**

* * *

_It's just me now._

_Leaving that club meant leaving Hikaru. I've taken our world and left. Yes, I do regret leaving Hikaru after what happened at the hospital, but I do not regret resigning. I was no longer bringing in profits. Those three girls I've been entertaining brought in just enough money to pay for the tea and snacks we've consumed. Tamaki's requested so often, his sales will probably fill in any gaps, doubting there are any, I leave behind. Hikaru's and Haruhi's act is becoming more popular with every passing day, they're tying with Kyoya right now in sales. Who knows how long it will be before they're considered the next king and queen of the host club...  
_

_Why do I do this to myself?_

_Whenever something that makes me actually feel like this is all worth it happens, I always find something wrong with it. It makes no sense, why do I keep doing this? I've sacrificed everything for Hikaru's happiness. My love, my time, OUR world...everything. And yet, he still doesn't notice all of my hard work, he only notices Haruhi.  
_

_It used to be just me and you, Hika. We used to be happy all by ourselves. We were happy with playing alone, eating alone, talking alone. We were happy just being alone in our world. But, do you know why that is?_

_It's because we had each other._

_Now, I have no one. Now, I'm forced to be alone. I don't like being by myself, because there's no one there to comfort me or give love or support. All I have now is that yucky pumpkin. While you and Haruhi walk off hand in hand, I just sit alone behind our closed gates. I managed to fix that rusted lock, I've double checked the bars so no one can break through._

_It's just me in our world now, but this time..._

_No one is breaking in._

* * *

Kaoru flopped down onto his bed, letting his schoolbag fall to the floor with a heavy thud. He buried his face into the cold, soft fabric. His legs ached from running, his head pounding from Tamaki's indignant yells. His golden eyes were squeezed shut, flashes of what happened moments ago flashing through his head. He could hear snippets from the previous argument:

_"-can't just leave!"_

_"Why are you doing this?! We're always toge-"_

_"Please don't leave, Kao-cha-"_

_"Where are yo-"_

_"Leave hi-"_

_"Traitor!"_

With a growl in his voice, Kaoru snarled into his pillow, "Won't you all just shut up?"

His eyes pricked with unshed tears as he remembered his brother's furious face.

_He dare he call me a traitor...After all I've done for him! If it weren't for me, he wouldn't even be going out with Haruhi! I've sacrificed my own happiness over and over again, and this is the thanks I get?! Unbelievable! It's not like he pays any attention to me in the club anyway...He has Haruhi now, so what does he need me for. I'm literally the seventh wheel in our little 'family'. Tamaki and Kyoya, Honey and Mori, Hikaru and Haruhi, and then just Kaoru...Seriously, why do I even bo-  
_

"Young master?"

Kaoru's head jerked upwards at the sudden voice. He looked to the door to see a maid smiling sadly at him, her eyes almost overflowing with sympathy.

"Young master, dinner is ready."

"Oh...Uh, I'm sorry but I'm not hungry tonight." Kaoru said, trying his best to force a kind smile.

"Oh, but young master, there's a surprise awaiting you in the dining hall." The maid persuaded, obviously worried Kaoru wouldn't come with her.

With a sigh, the teen muttered, "Alright." Then stood and followed the maid to the dining room.

* * *

"We have to get him back~!"

"Tamaki would you knock it off! Stop bawling like an idiot and help us come up with a plan!" Hikaru snapped at the moping blond. Currently, all of the hosts, except Kaoru, were seated at the long, brown, meeting table. Each with a different expression. Honey had a few tears sliding down his face, beside him, Mori had his usual neutral look, though there was a bit of concern in his eyes. Hikaru appeared furious, but, if you looked closely enough, you could see heartbreak and regret shining in his eyes. Haruhi had a somewhat upset, but mostly neutral look similar to Mori's. Kyoya, surprisingly, looked irritated at Hikaru and actually sort of...upset that Kaoru was gone.

Tamaki, as Hikaru had said, was bawling like an idiot at the head of the table.

"B-but...Why would he just quit like that?" The blond whimpered. Haruhi thought for a moment and suggested, "Maybe he felt unneeded."

When everyone just stared at her, she further explained, "Well, only three girls still requested him. All of us know that's not much, by any means."

"That's true," Kyoya said, pushing up his glasses, "However, while Kaoru was no longer getting requested directly, he was bringing in a lot of money."

"What do you mean, Kyo-chan?" Honey asked.

"While he wasn't being requested directly," Kyoya repeated, "Girls were actually spending more money on Kaoru merchandise. More than they usually do anyway."

"But...Why would that be?" Haruhi asked, "If they really like him enough to buy merchandise of him, why not visit him in the club as well?"

Kyoya chuckled and asked, "Isn't it obvious?"

Hikaru blinked in realization and said,

"Girls are suckers for a jealous uke."

* * *

"Dad?"

Mr. Hitachiin smiled and said, "Hello, Kaoru."

"But...I thought you weren't going to be back until next week." Kaoru said. Even though he didn't sound it in the least bit, he was actually glad his father came back early.

The man chuckled and said, "Now, Kaoru, is that anyway to greet your old man? Now, come give your father a hug~"

"Dad, I'm not five anymore."

"You are on the inside, now come here."

"Dad, I love you, but I can smell you from here."

"It's just a little...Dad-funk, now give me a hug."

"Dad-funk? You and I both know that isn't-"

"Son, I'm going to give you three seconds to give me a hug or else...uh..."

"Or else, what?"

"You don't wanna know! Now hug me!"

Kaoru rolled his eyes, but relented, going over and giving his father a tight hug. When he pulled away, he looked up to see his father smirking triumphantly.

With another roll of his eyes, Kaoru asked, "So how was Germany?"

"Ugh, horrible! You say one wrong word, then it turns into World War III!"

"What did you say now?"

"I may or may not of called the head of their fashion company an asshole..."

There was a moment of silence before Kaoru burst into laughter. Mr. Hitachiin frowned and said, "What?! A heard a guy at the airport call me it! I thought it was a compliment!"

As his laughter died down, Kaoru patted his father on the shoulder and suggest, "Next time, just bring a translator, okay, Dad?"

With that, Kaoru disappeared back upstairs.

Mr. Hitachiin's smile shrank ever so slightly as he slumped into a chair. A maid looked at him worriedly and asked, "Are you alright, Sir?"

Slowly nodding his head, the man softly said, "It's just...It's been so long since I've heard that laugh..."

* * *

"Grandmother, I...I don't understand."

"You heard me, Tamaki. Eclair is coming back to Japan, and when she does, you're going to accompany her throughout her entire visit. During this time, you are forbidden to associate with the host club." The old woman coldly replied.

"B-But...With all due respect, grandmother, one of my club members is going through very difficult times right now. We're trying to get him to rejoin an-"

"Ha, quitting that club was probably the best decision of his life. Now, I'm sure with his parents wealth, he can manage through this 'difficult time' on his own." His grandmother said, her brown eyes staring resentfully at him.

Looking down, Tamaki murmured, "As you wish...How long will she be staying?"

"She will be arriving this Saturday and is planning to stay until Friday."

"Alright. I shall start preparations for her arrival immediately."

The old woman nodded and said, "That is all."

Tamaki slowly stood, then walked over to the larges doors behind him. With one last glance at his grandmother, the blond silent slipped out of the room.

* * *

Kyoya sighed, setting down his mechanical pencil. He ran his fingers through his dark hair, his violet-grey eyes closed in frustration. He shouldn't be feeling this way. He already has a boyfriend. He was usually so calm and collected...

Why was he so bothered by the fact Kaoru quit the host club?

Of course, he considered all of the hosts his friends. But, he couldn't see himself getting this worked up over any of the others. Tamaki, of course he would, but any of the other hosts? Not likely. He didn't mean anything by it, not at all. He just didn't feel as though he had much of a connection with any of the other hosts.

So what made Kaoru so damn special?

The only one who had ever stirred up this much emotion in the 'Shadow King' was the King of the Host Club himself. Never before had he felt...This odd twist in his stomach at the thought of another host other than his blond idiot.

A loud, irritating ring shocked Kyoya out of his thoughts. Blinking lazily, the dark-haired teen reached over and grabbed his cellphone from his nightstand. Flipping it open, he answered, "Hello?"

"Kyoya? I have a favor to ask of you..."

* * *

"So...Tama-chan's not going to help get Kao-chan back?" Honey asked, his brown eyes filling with sadness.

"It can't be helped," Kyoya sighed, "Those orders came directly from his grandmother. Luckily for us, he won't be in a different country or something out like that. I'll be able to pass notes with him in class to discuss what we plan on doing. Until he comes back, I will be in charge."

Hikaru huffed, pacing in front of the sofa that him and Haruhi started doing their "Devilishly Natural" act on. He was grumbling under his breath, his golden eyes narrowed dangerously.

Finally, he said, "Well, what the hell are we going to do?! Kyoya, you're the brains of this club, think of something! Anything!"

Kyoya cocked an eyebrow and icily answered, "He's your brother. Why aren't you think of ideas instead of pinning the responsibility onto others?"

Hikaru's face flushed crimson as his anger spiked even higher, "What happened to the host club being a fucking 'family'? Have you ever thought that maybe I have other issues going on right now other than this club?"

"Really? Are you saying that these 'issues' are more important than your brother?" Kyoya accused, looking at the redhead with an icy gaze.

"My brother _is_ the issue!" Hikaru said. Although, the moment he realized what he had said, his angry crumbled. His face went from cherry red to its original pale color. His golden eyes stayed narrowed, however, they became glazed over as well.

"Hika-chan," Hikaru looked over at Honey, the older teen hugged his bunny lightly as he said, "We know you're confused and aren't sure of what to do...But being angry won't solve anything. We want to help Kao-chan as much as you do, 'kay?"

"He's right, Hikaru," Haruhi said, "I know that you don't know how to show your emotions, so you use anger instead, but right now...You need to think of your brother. Would you be yelling like this if you were alone with Kaoru right now?"

"Of...Of course not," The redhead sighed, sitting down on the sofa, "Kaoru always knew how I was feeling, he always knew how to make it better. But, whenever he's not with me, I'm always forced to remember...I'm totally lost without him."

Kyoya blinked, looking down at his black notebook in confusion.

_Why do I feel so...envious of their relationship?_

* * *

**A/N:...Yep. Thank you to all of those who reviewed last chapter, again it really means a lot to me. Um...Totally forgot what I was gonna type...Oh, yea! I hate that I called the act "Devilishly Natural" instead of "Naturally Devilish", ugh, makes me want to claw my own eyes out. I think I'm making Haruhi a little bit too nice compared to the other chapters, so she may have random spouts of bitchiness, just so you know. Well, it is now...1:17 in the morning, so I think I'll finish up this Author's Note, watch one more Hetalia episode, then pass out. Love ya, guys!**

**Reviews = Rainbow~! 8D**


	13. Unexpected

**A/N: Hey, guys. Okay, I want everyone to read this because right now, I'm just getting annoyed:**

**Stop flaming. I know I'm not exactly a great writer or anything, but please do not try and insult me. I am truly sorry if I have offended anyone by the way I have made Haruhi act in earlier chapters. I honestly did not mean to upset anyone by any means. But, please, I am just asking if you would please stop insulting my story because it does not agree with your views on the anime/manga of Ouran Highschool Host Club. If you find my story that offending/impossible of happening, there is a thing called a back button. I'm not trying to be mean or accuse anyone of doing anything, I simply request that you do not flame my story just because you don't like the idea of the hosts being gay. Flames aren't cool, guys, they just hurt other people's feelings.  
**

**...So, uh, I guess...On with the chapter? (P.S. Thank you to those who have actually read that message. Once again, I am really sorry for how I made Haruhi behave. I promise, I will make her more in character and nice from now on.)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own OHSHC. **

* * *

"Hello again, Tamaki." The girl said, a small smile adorning her red lips. Tamaki tried his best to force a charming smile and held out his hand for Eclair to take. Eclair donned a beautiful red dress that frilled out slightly at the bottom, upon her neck she wore an elegant necklace of silver and black diamonds.

Contrary to popular belief, Tamaki did change Eclair. Although, it was only the slightest, tiniest spot of change, she was still different. Even after Eclair had bribed Tamaki into marriage so he could meet his mother, even when she held him back from his precious 'daughter'...Tamaki still gave her a smile and thanked her for releasing him.

Tamaki had shown Eclair...Forgiveness. Something no one has ever shown her before.

Eclair blinked out of her daydreams as she heard Tamaki calling her. She looked to see that he was standing in front of an expensive, white limo, gesturing for her to climb inside. Silently, she slid into the backseat, not looking over as Tamaki came in after her and shut the door.

"So...What would you like to do today, my lady?" Tamaki asked in a soft, kind voice. Eclair let out a soft breath and said, "...I suppose...We could go to the beach?"

Tamaki nodded, "Very well, then. Driver, please drive us to Yutaka beach."

"Yes, sir."

And, for a long while, the car was filled with an almost comforting silence.

* * *

Hikaru growled, his hands clenching his controller in frustration. His head ached from exhaustion and confusion. He had just spent the last two hours with Kyoya, Haruhi, Honey, and Mori trying to figure out a way Kaoru would willingly rejoin the host club. So far, every plan they have come up with seemed to have too many flaws to actually work. By the time Kyoya had dismissed the meeting, they had gone through at least thirty ideas. All of them deemed unreliable in their current situation.

"God...Kaoru, why are you doing this?" Hikaru asked, knowing that he was just talking to air. He couldn't help, but think back to the time when both he and his twin were inside their little world. Everything was less complicated back then. Sure, things were still complicated, but they could withstand anything when they had each other...

*Flashback*

_"You two are such freaks!" The fat boy hissed, his chubby cheeks became rosy as disgust became apparent in his almost black, brown eyes._

_The porky, obnoxious boy was once again trying to get under the skin of the self-secluding Hitachiin twins. For one reason or another, the boy had a small group of followers; all of whom were snapping their own remarks. It reminded Hikaru of savage wolves. Taunting, teasing, before finally going in for the kill.  
_

_"Just leave us alone." The twins said in perfect synch. _

_The fat boy sneered, "There's something seriously wrong with the two of you. You're disgusting, that's what you are! My mom calls you in...insect...inceptuous!"_

_"I think you meant to say incestuous." The twins clarified, their golden eyes glittered in amusement at the boy's stupidity. Although, you couldn't really blame the boy. All of them were no older than six._

_"Whatever you two are, you're creeping all of us out!" Another boy, much smaller than the leader, growled._

_"Shut it, Hiro!" The fat one snapped. 'Hiro' instantly quieted down, his grey eyes looking down in obedience and shame._

_Turning back to the twins, the fat boy's face twisted into a cruel smirk, "Aren't you two always going on about that weird game? The one where people tell you apart?"_

_"What about it?" Hikaru asked, watching the boy suspiciously. He squeezed Kaoru's hand a bit as the boy crept closer to them. Then, without warning, his entire group of followers lunged. They separated the twins, holding each roughly by his arm.  
_

_"Here's how we'll be able to tell," The fat boy chortled, walking towards Kaoru. The younger twin's eyes widened when the boy was right in front of him,_

_"Hikaru will be the one with the black eye!"_

_"What on Earth-STOP IT THIS INSTANT!" A slightly shrill voice rang out. The fat kid's fist stopped just an inch away from Kaoru's eye. Hikaru let out a breath of relief he hadn't even known he'd been holding._

_A tall, skinny woman tittered toward them, her angular face twisted into one of anger and concern. Her bony hand shot out and grabbed the fat boy's arm. In an unimpressed voice, she asked, "And just what do you think you were doing, Takeru?"_

_The boy looked down at the cement, his cheeks flushing in shame, "W-We...W-We were just playing, Sensei-"_

_"Don't give me that! Why, exactly, were you holding your fist up, threatening to give Hikaru a black eye?"_

_"U-Um, actually Sensei, I'm Kaoru." The redhead spoke up, rubbing his arms where the other boys had held him roughly. Hikaru immediately broke free of the boys restraining him, rushing forward to check on Kaoru.  
_

_"That! That's why! I was trying to make it so they would stop being so incestuous!" Takeru said, a victorious gleam in his eye that he had gotten the word right._

_The teacher gasped, "Mr. Watanabe! That is a horrible thing to say! You're going to call your parents and tell them what you've done and said to these boys! You should be ashamed of yourself!"_

_The fat boy pouted, glowering at the ground as the teacher dragged him by the hand towards the school. She stopped just before the doors and looked to the group of boys that still surrounded the twins, and said, "The rest of you! If I ever see any of you even come near the Hitachiins, you will be calling your parents as well!"_

_The group of boys dispersed, the teacher and Takeru disappeared inside, and the twins were left alone once more. With one glance at each other, they knew they were thinking the same thing._

_Our world is safe. This one isn't._

_In a hushed whisper, they agreed, "Let's always stay together...Inside our world."_

It was all so simple back then. Their only rule in life, well the only one they followed anyway, was to stay together. For when they were together, their tiny world of 'Us' became stronger than the overpowering world of 'Them'. Together, they were strong.

And, right now, both of them were very, very weak.

* * *

Kyoya let out an irritated sigh as he sat up. It was obvious he won't be getting anymore sleep tonight. Sitting up, he reached his hand over and blindly grabbed for his glasses. Slipping the eye-ware on, he got out of the warm bed and quietly crept down the stairs. He paused at the bottom, listening carefully for any voices or noise.

Once he came to the conclusion everyone was asleep, Kyoya went and sat down on the sofa. After wrapping himself in a discarded blanket, he found the remote on the coffee table and switched on the television. He managed to find a somewhat decent sit-com to watch, but soon realized he couldn't bring himself to pay attention. There was something that kept bugging him...

And that thing was Kaoru Hitachiin.

He didn't understand why he was so jealous whenever he thought of the redhead and his identical brother together. He was never attracted to Kaoru before. The only host member he ever has and, as far as he knew, ever will be attracted to was Tamaki. Sure, he felt a slight pinch of jealousy whenever he thought of Tamaki coddling Haruhi, his so called, "Precious Daughter".

But, he never felt it to the extent he felt of it right now. Which, he found, was particularly odd.

The raven-haired teen had accepted years ago he was bi. He wouldn't say he was fully gay, for he still felt attracted to some girls, but he wouldn't have a boyfriend right now if he said he was straight, now would he?

But, why Kaoru?

The only similarities between them was that both of them were more mature than their counterparts, Hikaru being Kaoru's and Tamaki being Kyoya's, and the fact that they were both the youngest in their families. That was pretty much it. Well, there was also the fact he felt more open around the redhead, how he almost felt his secrets leave his lips unconsciously...

B-But...That could just be something special that happened between close friends, right?

...Right?

* * *

There was a faint knock at the door.

"Kaoru? Can I come in?"

The young redhead sighed into his pillow. After talking to his father, the teen had went back into his bedroom and sort of just passed out on the bed. His body had become weak due to lack of sleep and not eating very much. However, even with his desperate need for comfort, Kaoru was still at war with himself as to whether or not share his now private world with his brother.

Finally, seeing as there was no point in fighting with his brother over something so trivial, he called back a weak, "Sure."

The chestnut brown door creaked open, revealing a rather guilty looking Hikaru. Kaoru watched in amusement as his brother somewhat glared at what their parents considered 'his' room. It made him feel good that Hikaru still had that childish want of having Kaoru in his room with him.

After making his way to the bed, Hikaru managed to stop glaring at his surroundings and sat himself bedside Kaoru on the bright, orange comforter.

His golden eyes flushed with guilt as he looked at his younger brother and said, "Kaoru, I'm so, so sorry for what I said at the host club. I...I didn't mean it. I was just upset because, you know, you quit so suddenly and without a reason! I just...I'm sorry."

Kaoru looked at his older brother as he bowed his head in embarrassment. The younger teen knew that his twin wasn't really comfortable with apologizing, mostly because he wasn't that used to it.

With a small smile, Kaoru said, "It's okay, Hika. I should've told you about it before I did it. I just...I'm just not really needed in the host club anymore. I mean...You and Haruhi are basically the new 'Brotherly Love' act and I've only been bringing in what...Two, three customers? And then there's milord two seats away from me and has girls bringing him freaking _shrines_. I just don't really have a place in the host club anymore."

"Of course you have a place!" Hikaru testified, "You have just as much of a place as any of us do! You certainly have more of a place than Mori does! The guy just grunts and carries a ninety pound third year on his back!"

Kaoru chuckled a bit at that, giving Hikaru a hug. The older Hitachiin smiled and returned the warm embrace. After a moment of simply holding each other, Kaoru finally muttered, "Okay, Hika...Tomorrow, after school, I'll come with you to club meeting and I'll ask if I can rejoin."

Hikaru smiled and gave his brother a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you, Kaoru."

* * *

The next morning, the twins woke up in each others' arms. They got up together, got changed, fixed their hair, and went down to breakfast together. For the first time in about three weeks, Kaoru was smiling and laughing as he ate pancakes with his brother once more. After so long, the twins were finally together again in soul and mind. Well...Not completely, but it was enough to keep Kaoru happy for the time being.

The servants didn't even try to hide the fact that they were overjoyed at both of the teens' happiness. The twin maids even gave the two a hug before they left for school together. While they rode to school, Kaoru looked down and smiled at the sight of his hand intertwined with his brother's.

Finally, he was going to have a good day at school. He could feel it.

As the limo slowed to a stop in front of the school, Kaoru actually felt kind of...Nervous. Not because of how the fangirls would react, but more of having to face the club members again. He also felt the faintest pang of dread at the realization that Hikaru would leave him for Haruhi once they saw her.

Maybe today won't be that great after all...

"Kaoru? Come on, we gotta get going." Hikaru said, getting out of the car. Kaoru shook his head, attempting to take himself out of his rather gloomy thoughts, and followed his twin out the limo.

The twins walked together towards Ouran Academy, all the while sending waves to blushing girls who stood on the sidelines. Kaoru was shocked, but in a good way, that the fangirls seemed to be holding themselves back from asking any questions. He was grateful for that, he didn't think he could go through another idiotic Q & A.

"Good morning, Haruhi!" Hikaru said, giving his girlfriend a kiss on the cheek. Kaoru's smile faded slightly, but still remained. Haruhi smiled and gave Hikaru a kiss as well, "Morning, Hikaru, Kaoru."

"Hey, Haruhi." Kaoru answered, forcing himself to appear cheerful. Haruhi, apparently buying it, smiled at him and said, "Come on, guys, let's get to homeroom."

* * *

"Good morning, class."

"Good morning, Sensei." Came the unenthusiastic reply. The teacher rolled her eyes, although the grin still remained on her face. Her homeroom was never in a good mood in the morning.

"Well, before I start attendance, there is an announcement I have to make. As you all know, weeks ago I've informed you that our class may be getting a new student during this semester. And, today, he will be joining us!"

The girls let out an excited squeal, hoping their new classmate would be attractive, while the boys just let out sarcastic comments such as, "Goodie." or "I'll alert the media."

Kaoru sat at his desk, just as bored as the other boys at the announcement at the new student. He tried to ignore the fact Haruhi and Hikaru were constantly passing notes to each other, giggling like school children every time they opened one. He tried focusing his attention to the front of the class once more.

"Ah, here he is now," The teacher said, looking towards the doorway, "Class, let's give a warm welcome to..."

A large boy came into the classroom. The girl's excitement instantly died down. All of the teens' faces looked on in shock at the huge girth of the boy. He was at least six and a half feet tall, weighing in at what must be at least three hundred pounds.

Kaoru's eyes widened in shock as he instantly recognized the boy. In small, almost silent, whisper, he said, "That's-"

The teacher cut him off, "Takeru Watanabe."

* * *

**A/N: *LE GASP!* Didn't see that one coming did ya? If you don't know who the boy who just came in is, here's a hint: Reread the flashback and make sure to pay attention to the names mentioned. Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. I'm sorry if I sounded harsh in the first Author's Note. I'm also sorry if I really made Haruhi act THAT horribly. But, please, to those of you who still like and enjoy my story, thank you for reading it and until next time: STAY AWESOME, BROS!**

**Review = Beer! Beer! It's part of why Prussia's so AWESOME!**


	14. Hatred

**A/N: Hey, guys. Sorry for the wait, I just have a lot going on right now and haven't had enough time to really write anything. This chapter I got particularly stuck on because I was afraid that I am beginning to make the plot sort of...unstable, I guess? What I mean is, I feel like I may or may not be going off topic with all of the different things going on in the story, but I promise that Takeru won't last long and the story will still continue after he's gone. I hope you guys enjoy~!**

**Disclaimer: I own an Italy cosplay wig and a Hogwarts shirt, but...I don't own Ouran...*crawls into emo corner with shirt and wig on***

* * *

Kaoru's eyes widened, fear growing within him as he watched Takeru's eyes scan the classroom. Luckily, Takeru didn't recognize the twins at first, giving Kaoru the perfect opportunity to warn his brother. Trying to be as subtle as possible, the redhead slowly reached his hand into his schoolbag, pulling out a notebook and his favorite pumpkin pencil.

Quickly, he messily scrawled a message across the small, lined piece of paper and whispered urgently to Haruhi, "Pass this to Hikaru, it's important!"

Haruhi quirked an eyebrow, but complied nonetheless. She discreetly slipped the note onto Hikaru's desk, her face remaining blank as to not draw attention to the trio.

Hikaru looked at the piece of paper for a moment, confusion evident on his face. Checking to make sure the teacher was distracted, Hikaru looked down once more and unfolded the note. He immediately recognized the handwriting as Kaoru's, but it seemed rather rushed.

But, once he read the note, he understood why:

_He's the guy, Hika! The guy from when we were six!_

Gulping, the older twin looked to his brother with a slightly nervous expression. Kaoru blinked back at him, a slight hint of fear danced across the surface of his golden eyes.

"Ah, yes, you're probably wondering where you'll be sitting! Hm...How 'bout right there? Next to Kaoru." The teacher suggested, pointing to the open desk.

Kaoru groaned, smacking his face into his palm.

_**Your life is just one big cluster-fuck, ain't it?**_

_Shut it. I don't get why you're happy about this, if you're in my mind, then you're part of this. _

_**Ha! Of course I'm part of this! I put the fuck in**** cluster-fuck!**_

Kaoru glared at the wall, his eyes narrowed as he prepared to battle with the voice in his head, but was distracted by a stern, "Kaoru!"

The teen's head snapped up to see the teacher looking down at him from two feet away. Beside her, sitting in the once empty seat, was Takeru.

"Honestly, Kaoru, pay attention! I do not stand for dillydallying!"

"O-Oh, yeah, sorry Sensei..." Kaoru said, the faintest hint of a blush coming onto his cheeks.

The teacher sighed, "It's fine. Now, I want you to help Takeru find his way around the school, I've checked his schedule and it seems that it is the exact same as yours."

**_H-_**

_Shut up._

"Yes, Sensei." Kaoru said, forcing a small smile. The teacher gave an approving nod before heading back up to the front of the class. The twin risked a quick glance at Takeru, instantly regretting it.

He still had the look of an absolute slime ball. His jet black hair was smoothed back with grease on top of his pudgy head, although, now the tips of his hair had been dyed violet. It was obvious that the brute was wearing the largest uniform the school had to offer, yet it still seemed that the expensive material could barely hold the thick rolls of fat that covered his body. There was a jagged scar on his cheek, adding to his rough appearance.

But, out of all of these heinous traits, the one that unnerved Kaoru the most was the look of his eyes. They didn't look human!

There were the sick, crimson color of blood rimmed with a poisonous purple. His pupils were narrowed into slits, baring uncanny resemblance to a snake's eye. The eyes were blank of any emotion, except for one...Hatred. Not a single thing appeared in Takeru's eyes other than the bone chilling gaze of absolute resentment.

Kaoru could've sworn that this...this...MONSTER wasn't the same whiny brat that would send him and his brother pathetic insults on the playground. He was sure of it! That Takeru couldn't even climb up the ladder to the slide, let alone cause the twins any damage. But, THIS Takeru...He could kill Kaoru just by breathing on him!

"What are you lookin' at, fag?" The brute snarled, his crimson, violet rimmed eyes flashing dangerously. Kaoru recoiled at the threatening tone, his golden eyes flicking away with fright. Both teens were completely unaware of the other, silently fuming, redhead on the other side of Haruhi.

_Geez, what's with this guy? We haven't done anything to him, so why is he being such an ass? I mean, to keep holding onto a grudge that you developed when you were SIX! Talk about a psychopath! _

Hikaru threw a lethal glare at Takeru, before grabbing his bag to head to his next class. The bell rang and the students stood, all of them avoiding Takeru. Haruhi sent Kaoru a sympathetic gaze as she grabbed Hikaru's hand, dragging her boyfriend out of the room with her.

Shaking slightly, the younger twin turned to Takeru, making sure to avoid looking at his piercing eyes. In a small voice, Kaoru asked, "Do you...wanna get going?"

Sensing his timid demeanor, Takeru sneered, "Whatever. If you try any of that homo shit with me, your ass is going to end up in a body bag, got it?"

Kaoru nodded, his gaze locked on the floor. It wasn't until after Takeru had stalked out of the classroom that the young redhead let out a stressed sigh, visibly deflating.

_Well, today is just going to be splendid..._

_**And so, you're once somewhat good life turns right back to that pathetic, squashed**** pumpkin.**_

* * *

Kyoya gave a deep breath, his hand letting his pencil fall softly onto the desktop. He wasn't paying any attention to the lecture his class was currently receiving. The raven-haired teen was absolutely, positively...Well, for the lack of a better word, screwed.

He had finally gotten his life the way he wanted it. His father was finally considering to give him the family business, his brothers were acting somewhat nice to him...sometimes, he was in a relationship with the man he secretly liked for a year now, and his sanctuary known as, 'The Host Club' was still as perfect as it has ever been.

But, now..._now_...

His stupid feelings had to go and ruin everything. With these confused, envious feelings of Hikaru and Kaoru, Kyoya felt as if he was betraying Tamaki. He would never dream of doing that to the host club's beloved 'King', never on purpose anyway. Tamaki was the one who showed Kyoya that it doesn't kill you to do something without benefit, that sometimes the outcome of what you've done out of the goodness of your heart _is_ the benefit.

Kyoya never had a second thought on Kaoru until recently. Ever since he's known the younger twin, he'd thought of him as nothing more than "The Less Evil Devilish Twin". He was simply the younger brother of Hikaru, just another club member that he associated with during club activities. Nothing more, nothing less.

Although, now he was much, _much_ more.

Every time Hikaru touched, or slung his arm around, or even just talked to Kaoru, a strange force grabbed at Kyoya's stomach and twisted it with enough force to make him feel sick. He could feel himself wince as the two brothers would engage each other.

He couldn't like Kaoru in _that_ way though.

Whenever Kyoya looked at Tamaki, he felt his stomach erupt into butterflies (not that he'd ever, EVER say that out loud), he felt admiration, love, stuff that you should feel around the person you're in a relationship with. Then...Then why was it so awkward, so unbelievably uncomfortable to watch as Hikaru hugged and touched Kaoru?

How come every time that happened...He pictured himself in Hikaru's place?

* * *

"Hikaru, I think you're overreacting. You can't seriously believe that Takeru is holding some...some weird grudge over you! It's been nine years! I think it's you who needs to let it go." Haruhi put bluntly.

Hikaru growled, gripping his hair, "You don't understand, Haruhi! Ever since Takeru was forced to move classes in elementary school, the guy's had it out for us! Geez, I thought when I heard him and his parents were going to France, I was hoping he would stay."

Haruhi frowned, placing a comforting hand on Hikaru's shoulder, "Come on, you know Kaoru's capable of holding his own. Besides, what could Takeru possibly do to Kaoru during the middle of the school day anyway?"

_If only you knew..._

* * *

"You-" A punch. "Sick-" A slap. "Brother-Fucking-" A jab. "Twisted-" A kick. "Incestuous-" Another slap. "FREAK!"

Kaoru didn't even have time to react as an Earth shattering blow blasted him in the face, throwing him back a good three feet. He slumped to the ground, body shaking as blood dripped from his lips.

Takeru had told Kaoru that he'd left something in the locker room after Gym. He had said that he wanted to grab it, but Kaoru had to come with him in case he got lost. Of course, the younger twin didn't want to. But, thinking over the punishment the would for sure face him if he didn't, he agreed.

Although, now, that punishment wasn't looking all that horrible.

Kaoru coughed, moaning quietly as Takeru nudged him with his foot. He turned Kaoru's body to see the damage he had caused, and continued to sneer, "It's shame murder's illegal...But, luckily for me, so is incest. Fortunately, your brother seems to have separated from you, smartened up and went on to someone...Better."

Kaoru growled, lashing out a hand and sinking his nails deep into Takeru's leg. The bully yelped at the suddenly pain, snarling when he saw red dripping onto his white shoes. He lifted his foot and sent a swift kick to Kaoru's ribs.

The twin on the ground whimpered, extracting his hand. The cuts on his arms were opened from when Takeru had roughly grabbing him, nails sinking into the sensitive scars. His wrist was turning dark purple, his ankle was at a strange angle, his stomach was twisted in sharp pain.

"Pathetic. You couldn't get any lower even if you tried." Takeru sneered, disgust obvious in his red eyes. He went over to a locker in the back of the room and grabbed his schoolbag.

He gave Kaoru's body one last kick and growled, "Tell anyone and I kill your precious brother."

And with that, Takeru left, leaving behind a heartbroken, broken Kaoru without a second thought.

* * *

_It's one of the first things they tell you. "Everyone's equal. Everyone is of the same amount of importance. We are one." Then, how come they always tell you, "We're all special. We all have something unique about us. Everyone is different."_

_These lessons contradict each other in the most odd and confusing of ways. _

_If we are equal, then we are the same. If we are different, we are not equal. And, yet, if we are all different, we're all equal. If we're all the same, then...Ugh, this hurts my head...Why did he do this to me...? I tried to help him, leave our past behind us..._

_He's a monster, that's what he is..._

_Those eyes. Those soulless, loathing, disturbing eyes. Nothing but the crimson red of blood and the ghastly violet of poison. _

_They remind me of hatred itself._

_Hatred causes bloodshed. That crimson represents the endless drops of life-sustaining liquid that is carelessly spilled everyday around the word. Blood is so fascinating. We hate it, yet we need it. We need it to live, yet never want to be in its presence. It's so precious to us and yet we are sickened by the sight of it. When it comes to blood, we're always contradicting our relationship with it._

_Hatred is like a deadly poison. It slowly kills people from deep within their very being. It drives us crazy trying to exert it, trying to express it, trying to get it the hell out of us. It causes us pain. Pain from the absolute loathing we feel, yet can do nothing about. It makes us want to shut ourselves off. Shut ourselves off in own little world, and in that little world, is only you and your hatred. You and your poison.  
_

_There's no way I can still be sane. My thoughts are too scattered, flicking from one idea to the next. From one emotion to the next. No one can understand the pain I feel. Soon, I'll be feeling so much pain, that I'll begin to feel nothing at all. I...I don't want that. I don't want to live life without feeling anything. I don't want to have to be like some sort of hollow shell that just goes through day after day, never feeling happiness or sadness or excitement or pride or love...Just nothing. Please, Hika...  
_

_Save me from my hatred._

* * *

**A/N:...Well, that's depressing. So, yea, hope you guys like this chapter. Sorry if I used too many swear words, but eh...What are you gonna do? Anyway, thank you to all who have been reading my story so far, please message me if you see something that you think could be improved and...See ya next time. Love ya!**

**Reviews = They don't cut the color budget~! (Sees that the story is in black and white print) ...Goddammit.**


	15. Sanity

**A/N: Hey, guys. Long time no see. I know, I haven't updated in a LONG time and I'm really sorry. I've been really sick for the past few days and haven't really been well enough to write. I kinda spent four hours in urgent care on Thursday so the last thing on my mind was writing, but now I'M BACK! *Look of horror* Anyway, I'm so glad that so many people are enjoying my story. I really love the feedback you guys give me, it's like Christmas every time I see a new review ^-^ I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and...That's it, I guess.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own OHSHC, but my computer now has a gigantic black splotch on the screen...Can anyone say "Sympathy Manga Ownership"? *shot* Didn't think so...**

* * *

"You know we do not tolerate bullying at this school, Kaoru," The nurse said, gently wrapping the boy's ankle, "For you to feel in danger and to be caused so much physical, not to mention emotional, pain; it's unacceptable."

Kaoru had managed to limp his way from the locker room to the nurse's office. Luckily, no one saw him in this pathetic state. Having boys see him was actually less of a fear than how he thought the girls would react to his "Tragically, heart breaking state~! How he sorrowfully carried his body to the nurse's office~! The way his haunted eyes glistened~!"

Give him a break.

"I-I never said it was a kid who did this to me." Kaoru rasped, his body shaking slightly from the cold air. Honestly, the students would die of hypothermia before even getting a band-aid.

"Oh, really? Then, it's just my imagination that those bruises on your arms are in the shape of fingers?" The nurse said, a thin eyebrow raised.

Kaoru looked down awkwardly as he answered, "Um...Yes?"

The nurse shook her head, a bittersweet smile twisting her lips upward, "Honestly...You boys these days. Letting your pride come before even your health-"

"No! I-It's not like that!" Kaoru yelped, having jostled his wrist slightly, "I don't care about pride or anything like that!"

"So, then, why don't who tell me who did this to you instead of being a reckless idiot?" The woman said, putting away the gauze.

Kaoru sighed and said, "Look, I may be an idiot. I may be the biggest, absolute...senseless moron to ever walk into this school. But, I'm an idiot who cares about his brother. The person who hurt me...They threatened to hurt my brother next. I know it's probably pointless to tell you all of this, probably the most idiotic thing you've ever heard from a kid who _doesn't_ want to tell you who did it...But, I can't keep this bottled up forever, can I?"

The nurse, an older woman of at least seventy, sighed and sat beside Kaoru on the bed. She gently laid a hand on his knee and said, "The best thing for you to do...Is to meet with the chairman. Perhaps he could offer some advice or maybe even expel whoever did this to you. Bullying is not something Ouran tolerates, and I doubt your brother would appreciate what you're doing to yourself by not telling anyone."

The redhead sighed, closing his eyes for a moment in thought. The nurse watched him, her gray eyes filled with wisdom and caring. Finally, having come to a conclusion in his mind, Kaoru decided,

"I'll go visit the chairman after school today."

* * *

Tamaki blinked as a small, crumpled piece of yellow paper bounced over his shoulder and onto the desk. The blond blinked, twisting around to see Kyoya giving him a pointed look. After a few more moments of staring, he finally got the message, carefully smoothing out the paper. On the inside, it read:

_Hikaru had texted me this morning. Said Kaoru was coming by the club to discuss rejoining. _

That news made Tamaki's lips break out into a blinding smile. He quickly dug out a pen, shot a weird 'You-Didn't-See-Anything' look to the students on either side of him, then quickly scribbled out his own message onto the paper. Then, he folded the paper carefully until it became an intricate paper airplane. Shooting one last glance at the teacher, he aimed and gently pushed his airplane through the air towards Kyoya.

The raven-haired teen blinked as a paper airplane smacked into his forehead before ungraciously plummeting onto his desktop. Shooting Tamaki his famous 'Was-That-Really-Necessary?' glare, he unfolded the airplane. Inside, surrounded by about a million happy faces and weird dancing flowers, it read:

_That's great! The family's back together again! Oh Kyoya I can't wait! It's going to be amazing! Once Eclair goes back to France we can have a reunion! There'll be cake, movie marathons, mountains of fancy tuna, fake sumo fighting! Oh! Haruhi will love it! Not to mention it'll be the perfect welcome back party for Kaoru!_

Shaking his head at the 'King''s confidence, Kyoya curtly wrote back a message and threw it at Tamaki's head. He smirked when he heard the blond give an indignant squawk, but read the note nonetheless. It read:

_Welcome back party? He was only out of the club one day. Anyway, you'd better start packing up, bells going to ring._

Kyoya sighed as he began to put his papers and pencils into his schoolbag. When he had finally put away his Biology textbook, he was surprised to see the yellow paper once again folded neatly into an airplane, sitting peacefully where it successfully landed in front of him. Looking to Tamaki, then back to the paper, he unfolded it. What he read made his stomach churn in guilt:

_Of course a welcome back party! He was out of the host club one days too many! And I already packed while you were reading the next note. I'll try and find my cell phone so I can text you tonight. Love you Kyo!_

_-Tamaki (Your King)_

Kyoya sighed, muttering quietly under his breath, "I love you too, Tamaki...But, I may be starting to like another."

* * *

"Hikaru, please calm down! He's probably fine!"

"If he was fine, he would have tried to meet up with us by now!" Hikaru argued, continuing to search for his twin. Haruhi gave an exasperated sigh, but followed nonetheless.

"Hikaru, it's fifth period. You know that he has to go to Biology. He's just in another class is all."

Hikaru sighed, turning to his girlfriend with a wary expression, "Haruhi, just...I know something's wrong. I was an idiot for not waiting and making sure he got to his classes okay. Now, when I have this horrible, sinking feeling in my stomach, I can't find him? You can't expect me to just calm down and act like nothing's wrong."

"Why stress over an almost impossible problem rather than carry on and be happy?" Haruhi asked, her brown eyes searching Hikaru for an answer.

"Because...I think pretending nothing's wrong is worse than acknowledging when something is wrong."

And with that, Hikaru continued on his way down the hall, leaving a speechless Haruhi alone in front of the Communications classroom.

* * *

_How do you know when you're crazy?_

_How do you know when you're sane?  
_

_To questions like these, this is no right answer. It's an unanswerable question that philosophers dwell on for hours, days, weeks... Sometimes, even years. Then, after whatever length of time, they claim that they've 'got it'. That they've solved the horrid question that haunts our minds: "Am I sane?"_

_Every answer I've ever heard, seen, read, or heard about...All of them are complete and utter shit. _

_No, I don't plan on becoming a philosopher or psychologist, or anything of the sort. No, I don't have a degree on how the mind works or how everyone is born. No, I don't see myself as some self-righteous bastard who's claims are the only ones who matters. I'm simply stating what everyone else seems to be ignoring...  
_

_None of us are sane._

_This depression has taught me many things. Many things that some of this world's greatest philosophers haven't truly figure out yet. This depression has shown me the true... Psychopathic nature of humans._

_Take watching a show about funniest home videos._

_A fat guy has just fallen on his ass. A blond chick just kicked some poor guy in the balls. A man falls off of his roof in an attempt to clear off the snow. Some little girl just slipped, falling on her butt on the ice._

_That fat guy just broke his leg. That poor guy is wincing in pain. That man can't get out of the snow, he's trapped with no air. That little girl is sobbing her heart out._

_And yet we laugh._

_Why do we laugh?_

_Would a truly sane person laugh?_

_Would it be insane not to laugh?_

_Could it be possible that what we consider to be sane...Is really insanity in the eyes of someone else?_

_Is anyone..._

_Truly sane?_

* * *

Kaoru shook his head, violently trying to rid himself of such twisted thoughts. Taking something so trivial and silly as a TV show, and turning it into something so...Dark and corrupted. His mind wouldn't shut up for a moment. One minute, he was flipping through thoughts so fast that he couldn't even stand up; the next, he was focused on one thought for hours on end before ever so slowly drifting to the next. It was agonizing!

His mind used to be the one place he could understand. The one place that didn't have any family business, or wealth, or fighting, or heartbreak. Now, it was like a constant battle just to try and think about lunch without adding in as a side thought: _Choking would be a clean way to go._

Trying his best to forget about the horrid thoughts he just had, Kaoru continued on his way down the long corridor. Takeru was somewhere in the school, Kaoru just didn't particularly care. He was in this region of the universe. At this point, that was good enough for the red-haired teen. The last thing he wanted was that filthy slime-bag following him after what he'd done in the locker room.

Speaking of the locker room experience, Kaoru was on his way right now to the chairman's office. He decided this couldn't wait until the end of the day. He knew the second that god-forsaken bell rung, Hikaru would be waiting right outside the classroom to drag him off to the host club.

No. He was not going to bring his stupid problems to the Host Club. It was the only place he felt, somewhat, safe anymore.

Kaoru never felt so alone in his life. The empty halls gave off an empty echo as his black, shined shoes trudged down the hall. The clear, blue sky had one cloud in it. That one cloud was a dark, ominous...sad...

Great, now he was comparing himself to clouds!

"I must really be losing my mind..." Kaoru muttered, turning the corner. However, he didn't get far.

Two very large guys grabbed him by the arms. Kaoru kicked and thrashed, but the men held strong as they dragged the struggling teen down the hall and into the nearest boy's restroom.

Once inside the tiled walls, the men roughly threw Kaoru in then stood side by side at the door. They acted as though they were-

"Bodyguards." Takeru chortled, stepping out of a stall, "They aren't professionals, though. Just sons of my father's bodyguard. Ironically, they're twins too! Ain't that just great?"

Kaoru felt his breathing grow slightly faster as he glared at the large men. While it was true that the two looked alike, they were not nearly as identical as him and Hikaru. Both of them had blond hair, although one had a buzz cut with the other had his in a pony tail. Both of them wore Ouran uniforms, only difference being one of them wasn't wearing a tie. The one that was, though, was missing the top half of his left ear.

Come to think of it, the only thing that looked the same between them was their faces.

"As you probably have suspected, they've been held back a year or two. But, luckily they have enough intelligence to capture the likes of you." Takeru sneered, circling around Kaoru like prey.

Suddenly, his face morph from a hideous sneer to a disgusting heartbroken, mug.

"Oh, Kaoru~ How could you just abandon me after all the good times we've shared~?" Takeru cooed, his snake-like eyes narrowed.

Kaoru glowered at him, "What good times? The best memory I've ever had that involved you, was when you got the fuck away from me!"

The man with the ponytail and no ear stepped forward, his ugly, yellow teeth bared. Without hesitation, his raised his hand and back-handed Kaoru across the face, causing the redhead to fall to the floor.

"Ah, ah, ah," Takeru snickered, "Akio doesn't like swearing."

Kaoru's glare turned sharper as he spat, "What do you want from me?! Money?!"

"No, no, I've got plenty of that." Takeru sighed, leaning against the counter in front of the mirror.

"Then what? Huh? What could you possibly be after that would make you want to hire these two...I don't even know what they are, to hurt me?!"

Takeru let out a demeaning laugh and said, "Oh, Kaoru, I always knew you were stupid but never to this extent. Riku, would you be a dear and help little Kao up?"

The man with the buzz cut grunted and came forward. He roughly grabbed the back of Kaoru's collar, hoisting him up. Kaoru coughed slightly from the shirt cutting into his throat, but silenced as Takeru began to speak again.

"I don't want money, you simpleton. I don't want power, either. I want...I want my father...To have his revenge."

Kaoru blinked and asked, "What are you talking about?"

"Don't act like you don't know!" Takeru snarled, "You know that eight teen years ago your father betrayed mine!"

"I wasn't alive back then, you idiot! And neither were you!"

"Ha, seems daddy doesn't Kao much, does he? My father told me when I was four. He's retold the story dozes, upon dozens of times! Yet you, you arrogant, insignificant, worthless, little brat! This-This is all news to you, ain't it?"

"W-What are y-" Kaoru was cut off as Akio slammed his dirty hand to his mouth, silencing him.

"Thank, Akio," Takeru said, "He was ruining story time. Now, since your father clearly isn't man enough to tell you himself, I think I should start from the beginning..."

* * *

**A/N: And, I'm going to end it here because...I. Am. An Asshole. Thank you to all of those who have reviewed, I really appreciate it. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter and...Next one will be up very soon. Um...Yea. If you have any suggestions, concerns, critics, have a random thought you just wanna scream in someone's face:**

**I'M YOUR GIRL.**

**Until next time, bros!**

**Reviews = Happy birthday, Mr-**

**HEROINE~!**


	16. Father

**A/N: Hey, guys. Thank you to those who have reviewed last chapter, I know it wasn't my best. I was sorta half asleep as I was writing it, so that would be part of its crappiness. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, hopefully it's actually, you know...Good. Thank to all of those who have reviewed and...You guys are awesome. Enjoy.**

**READ THIS:**

**Just in case you guys get confused, this chapter starts with Takeru telling the story of his and the twins' father, and how Mr. Hitachiin so called "betrayed" his father. Now, since I couldn't find Mr. Hitachiin's actual name, I'm going to call him Makoto. Takeru's father's name is Naoki.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own OHSHC :'(**

Regular: Takeru telling the story

_Italics:_ What actually happened

* * *

My father was once in the technology industry, his company focused on the same sort of computer stuff your father's was. My father wanted to combine the two businesses. They would've made millions! But your father refused. He put his own selfish desires before the company.

_"Don't be a fool, Makoto! Together, we could own the most successful computer franchise anyone has ever seen!" The black haired man said, his red eyes shining brightly._

_However, the reddish-brown haired man across from him frowned, his light green eyes looking down, "I'm sorry, Naoki, but I just can't. My business has just started growing popularity, not to mention I just got married two months ago. It's too early to start a business together, I simply do not have the time!"_

_Even though Makoto's eyes were filled with sincere apology, Naoki's eyes turned furious, "What the hell does your wife have to do with this?!"_

_"We're still moving all of our stuff into the main mansion. Plus, we're speaking to each other about advertising each others' companies on our own merchandise. Such as, showing designs of her clothing on our laptop screens on billboards or magazines with her designs saying it's sponsored by my company."_

_"That's the most idiotic idea I've ever heard!"_

_Makoto sighed, "That's why we can't run a business, Naoki. Our ideas and ways of management are far too different."_

_"Why must you bring your wife into this matter? She's mooching off your success, that's what she's doing!" Naoki snarled, slamming his hand down on the table.  
_

_Makoto glared at him, although he forced his voice to stay calm, "I would appreciate it if you didn't insult my wife in front of me. She's not the reason I do not want to work with you."_

_"Then what is the reason?!"_

_"Because, you and I have never agreed on a decision in any of the years we've known each other. Every time we meet, we get in an argument about something, and now you want to work together? Have you no sense?"_

_"You're the one with no sense!" The raven-haired man growled, "We don't have arguments every time we meet."_

_"We're having an argument about whether or not to join companies," Makoto sighed, closing his eyes in frustration, "If this isn't a sign as to go our separate ways, then I don't know what is."_

_And with that, Makoto Hitachiin stood, left his fair share of payment for the bill, and left the restaurant._

Months went by, and my father's business was slowly declining. Your father's business, however, was getting more and more successful as time went on. Your father...That selfish bastard didn't give a damn about my father. All he cared about was your dumb ass of a mother and...you. By the time your father actually took notice of my father's poor state, it was when he called him over to tell him all about his two sons. When he found out about my father's lack of money, that jackass started to patronize him! Make fun of his weakened state!

_"N-Naoki...I had no idea..." Makoto whispered, looking at the man in front of him in concern. Naoki lifted his head, sending Makoto a weak glare. His red eyes had lost all of their fight, all of their ambition. Makoto sighed, trying to find some sort of resolution._

_"I-I could always...Lone you money. You can pay me back when you're back on your feet," Makoto said, pulling out his checkbook. Before he could get his pen to touch the paper, Naoki slammed his hand down._

_"How dare you..." Naoki growled._

_Makoto quirked an eyebrow, "C-...Come again?"_

_"How dare you?!" Naoki snarled, "What do you take me for?! A charity case?!"_

_"N-N-Not at all! I was just trying to help yo-"_

_"I don't need your help! I'm a grown man, damn you! I don't need your pity!"_

_"It's not pity!" Makoto argued, standing up, "Accepting help from others is not weakness!"_

_"You're a fool, that's what you are! I'll see to it that you and your pompous company gets stomped into the ground!" Naoki roared, slamming his fist onto the table._

_"Excuse me? Sir?" A young secretary poked her head from the doorway, "Is everything alright?"_

_"Yes, Hima, Naoki was just leaving," Makoto said, his patience finally running out._

_Naoki glowered fiercely at him, muttered lowly, "Mark my words, Makoto. You will pay for my company's distress. I swear it."_

_"I've done nothing, but help you, Naoki. If you can't see that, then you've left me no choice," Makoto said with a tone finality._

_"Come along, sir," The secretary said, gently tugging Naoki's sleeve._

_Naoki wrenched his arm free. He sent Makoto one more murderous look, then stalked out of the office._

Soon, my father had no choice, but to shut down the company. My family just above the poverty line, before he was offered something he couldn't refuse. A chance to get revenge. He managed to come in contact with a mob leader. He swore to stay loyal to the mob, as long as he was paid a hefty amount in return. The mob leader admired my father's absolute drive for success. After years of serving them, the mob leader, who had become ill, turned control over to my father. Once again, my family had regained its wealth. By this time, I was four years old, and my father had learned I was to be placed in the same class as you and your twin. It was something he just couldn't ignore any longer.

_"Takeru? I have to tell you something..."_

_"What is it, Daddy?" The chubby, little boy said. His crimson, violet rimmed eyes watched his father intently as he sat down beside him on his bed._

_Clearing his throat, Naoki told his son the story of him and Mr. Hitachiin. Well, what would've been the story, only he twisted all of the events to have Makoto come off as a cruel, sadistic man who only sought wealth. The four year old Takeru listened to the so called, "horrors" his father was put through._

_When he finished telling the story, Naoki then said, "And now, you're going to be attending Ouran Academy...But, there are two little boys you must look out for..."_

_"W-Who?" Takeru asked, tears of anger filling his eyes._

_"Their names are Hikaru and Kaoru...They are Makoto Hitachiin's sons..."_

_"Daddy...I swear I will make sure they suffer for what their Daddy did! They're stupid jerk-heads!" Takeru snarled childishly._

_Naoki chuckled, patting his son's head, "I know you won't disappoint Daddy, will you son? I want you to help Daddy...Repay Hitachiin-san for his wrong doings. Can you do that?"_

_"Of course! Anything for Daddy!" Takeru squealed, hugging his father's arm._

_The two shared a sadistic smile, disturbing looks of glee in their eyes at the thought of Naoki's enemy being brought to his knees. It was that starry night, as the moonlight shined down on their dog-like faces, that the father and son made their decision. They were going to make the Hitachiins pay.  
_

_Starting with Hikaru and Kaoru._

* * *

Takeru glared down at Kaoru, the redhead staring back at him in shock. Riku and Akio had him held firmly against the wall, staring at him as if daring him to insult their 'boss'. A minute or so of tense silence went by before Kaoru finally blinked, his shoulders relaxing slightly. He continued to stare blankly at Takeru as he opened his mouth to say-

"I...Call bullshit."

Riku's hard expression broke slightly as he forced himself not to laugh. Akio elbowed his brother when he saw Takeru's eyes narrow in spite.

With a snarl, the hateful teen spat back, "Of course you would! You and your pompous family! You sick fucks need to be put in your place!"

Kaoru's eyes went wide.

He felt Riku and Akio's grips tighten.

He heard his heart pounding in his ears.

He saw Takeru running at him with fire in his heinous eyes.

Then...

**Darkness.**

* * *

"Hika-chan? Where's Kao-chan?" Honey asked, pausing in devouring his chocolate cake.

Hikaru blinked from his spot at the table, an uncharacteristic look of anxiety on his face. In a nervous voice, he answered, "No...I haven't seen him since homeroom."

"What's wrong Hika-chan?" Honey then asked, lowering his fork from his mouth.

"He's upset because he thinks the new student, Takeru, has it out for them," Haruhi said, sending Hikaru a look of both concern and exasperation.

Kyoya stopped typing. His eyes widened slightly as he looked up and asked, "Takeru...Watanabe?"

Hikaru gave a curt nod, his anxiety having not faded in the slightest. Him and Kaoru have never been separated for longer than a hour. Now, not only have they been apart for at least five hours, but his brother was all alone with some psycho who's had some weird obsession with making their day a living hell. Who wouldn't be nervous?

Haruhi blinked in confusion at Kyoya's odd reaction and asked, "So? What's the big deal?"

"His father has had a grudge against Hikaru and Kaoru's father for many years. Mr. Watanabe wanted to join companies with Mr. Hitachiin, only to get rejected because of their differences in management. His business soon shut down due to its lack of profits, ever since then he has sought revenge. It seems he has sent his son to do his bidding," Kyoya said, tapping his finger thoughtfully.

Hikaru's eyes widened, his body practically shaking from nerves. His mind was sent into a frenzy, thoughts shot passed, one after another, filling his head with horrifying possibilities of his brother's current whereabouts.

"W-We...We have to go find him!"

"Hikaru, calm down!" Haruhi said, grabbing Hikaru's arm.

The redhead sent her a withering glare as he growled, "Why do you still refuse to help him, even after all of the proof Takeru is no good?"

"It's not that I don't want to help him," Haruhi clarified, loosening her grip, "I just think that Takeru would have a hard time harming Kaoru in a place as, you know...Open as Ouran."

"I don't think it hurt to go check on them though. Just to make sure Kao-chan's okay," Honey spoke up, picking up Usa-chan from where he placed the bunny beside him.

"I agree. At least if we do that, Hikaru's mind will be at ease," Kyoya said, trying to swallow his own worry. His feelings have been increasingly troublesome lately.

Hikaru nodded, sending a gracious look to Honey and Kyoya. He then stood up, a confident smile slowly stretching across his face. In a steadier voice, he said, "Alright, let's go find Kaoru!"

* * *

"Dammit! We've searched every class and so far, nothing!" Hikaru growled, slamming his fist against the wall. He lowered his head, causing his bangs to cast a shadow over his eyes. His anxiety and fear had built up so much that now he felt nothing but anger. He felt angry at Kyoya and how he seemed too 'cool' to actually give a damn. He felt angry at Mori and Honey for stopping to go to the bathroom when they should be searching the Biology classroom. He felt angry at Haruhi for not showing any signs of worry. Obviously, he felt angry at Takeru for causing all of this shit. And, strangely enough...He felt angry at Kaoru.

Hikaru was snapped out of his furious thoughts by a hesitant poke on his shoulder.

"Hikaru? Are you alright?" Haruhi asked, her chocolate brown eyes peering up at him.

Hikaru sighed, then shook his head, "I won't be alright until I see that Kaoru's alright."

Before Haruhi could reply, Kyoya came back and announced, "So far the fourth, third, and second floors have been cleared-"

"We have a fourth floor?" Haruhi whispered thoughtfully.

"-All that leaves now is the first floor."

"Alright. Come on, let's go," Hikaru turned, then scampered off down the staircase.

Haruhi sighed, then looking back up at Kyoya, she asked, "Do you think he's in danger, Kyoya?"

The raven-haired teen didn't respond. He had been fighting for two hours now to choke down his fear of Kaoru being hurt. From what he researched about Takeru's family, it was obvious Kaoru would have, at the very least, cuts and bruises. But, these thoughts did nothing to soothe him. Hell, they made him feel worse!

"Kyoya?" Haruhi said, gently poking his arm.

Kyoya shook his head, then made his way down the stairs, calling back to her, "I'm sure, he's fine."

* * *

_Crimson drops._  
_They stain the white red._  
_Crimson drops._  
_The color of dread._

_Crimson drops._  
_The pain still won't fade._  
_Crimson drops._  
_Am I still sane?_

_Crimson drops._  
_The darkness looms over me._  
_Crimson drops._  
_No warmth, no friends, not even family._

_Crimson drops._  
_I still feel so sad._  
_Crimson drops._  
_How did it get this bad?_

_Crimson drops._  
_It's getting worse and worse..._  
_Crimson drops._  
_Someone please save me..._

_From this bloody curse._

* * *

He didn't care about anyone else. He could feel that his twin was close! He could feel it!

Running frantically from one room to the next, kicking open doors, banging furniture aside. Hikaru hysterically searched for his brother as if his life depended on it. Hell, at this point, it _could_ depend on it. He flew around corners, he skid across the floor. You would've thought someone was running after him with a chainsaw!

"Hikaru!" Haruhi called, panting as she tried to keep up, "Slow...Down!"

"I can't! Not now! He's on this floor! I can tell!" The boy called back, his head whipping around in every direction, looking desperately for somewhere to search.

Finally, he spotted it. The men's restroom.

Feeling an odd sense of foreboding, Hikaru ran towards it. However, when he came to it, he skidded to a stop. He didn't know why, but he felt as though once he went in there, he wouldn't be...Well...The same. Swallowing thickly, he looked back to see Haruhi looking oddly nervous as she, too, stared at the, almost intimidating, door.

_Suck it up! What would I say if he questioned me on why I didn't save him? "Oh, yea, the door...That's some freaky shit man." No. I__'ve got to do this.  
_

"I'm coming Kaoru," Hikaru whispered, finally putting his hand on the door. Hesitantly, he pushed it open and padded inside. He blinked in confusion at the total darkness of the room. He held his breath as he put finger to the light-switch, knowing once he flicked it on...There was no going back.

_3...2...1..._

A horrified screamed pierced through the halls.

* * *

**A/N: I finally finished! I started writing this chapter a while ago, and I kept getting/dumping ideas. I know the Naoki and Makoto story sounds stupid, because it is...Well...Stupid. Point is, Naoki is crazy and everything pisses him off, so that's the main reason right there. I know this chapter isn't good, but I'll try to make my next chapter better, hopefully. **

**The poem is Crimson Drops, written by me. I know it's not good, but I like to think of it as okay. :)**

**If you want to tell me what you think, give criticism, talk about you Uncle Carl, discuss llamas, or just scream something random at someone's face...I'm your girl.**

**Until next time!**

**Review = What if we used to be able to make wishes...And then someone wished we couldn't? OnO**


	17. Uninstall

**A/N: Hey, guys. Thank you to all of those who reviewed! One hundred and seven, bros! ONE HUNDRED AND SEVEN! I love you all! Come on! GROUP HUG! *grabs all of you and hugs you* I LOVE YOU GUYS! *Ahem* Anyway, I'm glad that a majority of you enjoyed last chapter and I hope you find this chapter just as entertaining. Here's to many more chapters to come! ENJOY!**

**Disclaimer: Nope :'(**

* * *

Blood.

There was blood on the ground, on the wall, on one of the stall doors, and most importantly...All over Kaoru. His left sleeve was absolutely drenched with it, turning the lower part of his arm scarlet. His jacket and shirt was covered in rips and tears. Small, but bleeding gashes were littered across his once flawless face and chest. His bangs covered his eyes, but the large bruise covering the right one was still visible. A small dribble of blood leaking from his mouth where not only his lip was split, but from when he violently kneed in the stomach. His right wrist seemed out of place, turning a strange purplish-black color.

Hikaru staggered backwards, letting out small, horrified puffs of air. Terror didn't even begin to describe the absolute...Dread clenching his heart at he stared at his little brother with despair. He let out an agonized sob as he crumpled in front of Kaoru, tears falling down his face.

"K-Kaoru?" Hikaru said, lifting a trembling hand to his twin's face. He gently caressed his cheek as he pleaded, "C-Come on, Kao...Wake up...P-Please...Say something, anything...P-Please..."

"H-Hi...Hikaru?" Haruhi whispered, staring at the scene in disbelief.

"H-Haruhi...W-Why...Why won't he wake up?" Hikaru whimpered, carefully taking his brother into his arms.

Haruhi shook her head, before turning and crying out, "**Kyoya!**"

The rapid sound of feet running across the tiled floor.

"Haruhi? What is-" The raven-haired teen froze. He stared at the heartbreaking scene of Hikaru cradling an unconscious, broken Kaoru to his chest. His black book fell from his hands, clattering to the floor.

"K-Kyoya, y-you...You've got to do something! Call the hospital!" Haruhi ordered, shaking as tears gathered in her chocolate brown eyes.

Kyoya blinked, before fumbling for his phone. He quickly called for an ambulance, then came forward towards the two brothers on the ground. Hesitantly, the raven-haired teen pressed his hand to Kaoru's neck in hopes of finding a pulse. He managed to find one, but to his horror, it was faint. He didn't even bother to wipe away the tear that found its way out of his eye. Haruhi seemed unable to leave her spot by the doorway. She was trembling terribly, covering her mouth in shock as tears rolled down her cheeks.

Hikaru, however, didn't pay any attention to either of them. His eyes stayed glued to Kaoru's face as he gingerly brushed some of his orange, partly crimson specked, hair out of his eyes. He bit his lip, his vision blurring with unshed tears, as he looked at his brother's black eye.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, men in white uniforms came rushing down the hall with white stretcher. They all had solemn expressions as they pushed passed Haruhi and came to a stop at Hikaru's side.

"Come on, son. Time to let go," One of them said, as the others attempted to take Kaoru. Hikaru glared at them, snarling at the hands coming his way. The man who had spoken sighed, before taking Hikaru's arms and wrenching them off of Kaoru. Seeing that Hikaru was restrained, the other paramedics quickly picked up the bloodied boy, placing him carefully onto the stretcher.

"W-Wait!" Hikaru yelped when he saw the me retreating down the hall, "Let me come! Let me come, damn you!"

The lead paramedic looked at him for a moment, before snapping out, "Fine, fine! Just keep up, will ya!"

And with that, the paramedics and the twins disappeared out the door, and into the awaiting ambulance.

* * *

"Hikaru, please, sit dow-"

"If it wasn't for you, we would've found Kaoru _before_ he was on bleeding to death on the bathroom floor," Hikaru snarled, his tone low and dangerously on edge.

Haruhi swallowed thickly, her face streaked with tears as her eyes became clouded with guilt. With a shaky intake of breath, she murmured, "I-I just...I never knew he was going to get hurt...I just didn't think it was necessa-"

"Well, you were wrong. And now, Kaoru's in the hospital, possibly dying," The redhead growled, his piercing stare watching the emergency doors for any sign of a doctor.

"While I admit it was my fault we didn't go searching for him, you know as well as I do that I'm not the reason he's in the hospital! Even if we went looking earlier, Takeru still would've-"

"But the damage wouldn't have been as significant! We would've been able to catch him in the act! We would've had evidence **that could get him EXPELLED!**" Hikaru roared, his golden eyes looking like fire as he clenched his fists at his sides.

"Sir, if you do not calm yourself this instant, I'll be forced to ask you to leave!" The secretary snapped, looking disapprovingly at the small group of teenagers.

Honey sat crying silently in Mori's lap, while Kyoya was slumped over in a chair close to the secretary's desk. He was apparently too lost in his thoughts to even bother with the current argument going on between Haruhi and Hikaru. His mind was focused on Kaoru, and Kaoru alone. He didn't even think of texting Tamaki, who was still stuck at school, about the current situation. Not even his boyfriend could distract him from the terror gripping at his heart at the thought of Kaoru being...

"Ootori?"

The raven-haired teen jumped at the comforting hand placed on his shoulder. Looking up, he saw a doctor, about mid-sixties, staring back at him with a sad smile on his face.

"Yes? What is it? Is Kaoru alright?" Kyoya asked, barely even registering when Hikaru bumped into him as he came racing over.

"Your friend is going to be alright. All of his injuries have been patched up. His wrist is broken, but should be fine as long as he gets plenty of rest. Although...I hate to ask, but those cuts on his left arm...Are those self caused?" The doctor asked, looking regretful as Hikaru's eyes filled with tears.

"Y-Yeah," Hikaru muttered, "Yeah, they are."

The doctor nodded, his eyes sympathetic as he said, "Alright...If that's the case, then I recommend that your brother sees a therapist of some sort."

"No," Hikaru said, crossing his arms.

"Hika-chan?" Honey squeaked, looking confusedly at the redhead.

"I know Kaoru, and I know that if I even think about telling him to go to a therapist, he's going to either be mad or even more depressed than usual."

"Why would he react like that, though?" Haruhi asked, her voice shaky.

"Because, he'll think that we think something's wrong with him. That he's crazy," Hikaru sighed, turning back to the doctor, "I'm sorry, doctor, but trust me. The last thing Kaoru needs is more stress."

"Very well...Do you want to see him now?"

Kyoya gave Hikaru a look, knowing he was about to say some sarcastic remark, and said, "Yes, please."

The doctor turned and lead them out of the waiting area, his eyes flicking constantly from the group to the hallway. He was nervous about how they would react, especially the twin, if just the thought of a therapist seemed out of the question.

He just hoped they were ready for what they were about to see.

* * *

_Everything is so dark...I can't see or hear anything...A-Am I dead?_

_**Unfortunately, no.**_

_So...Am I in a coma or something?_

_**No, just knocked out. Pity, Takeru was this close to doing Hikaru a huge favor.**_

_What do you mean?_

_**He almost got rid of the one thing that stood in the way of Hikaru's happiness. But, sadly, you lived and now Hikaru has to continue with his daily struggle of being with his girlfriend, helping with the Host Club, and looking after his pesky, little brother.**_

_It's not like I asked for him to look after me! He does it because he loves me-_

**_He does it because it's his job, his duty, to look after you. He's forced to take care of you so he can make your parents and the fangirls happy. If it wasn't for you, he could've actually had a life when you were kids. He could've actually have had a childhood!_**

_He did have a childhood! He spent it with me, and we actually enjoyed it! He loved me back then, and he loves me now!_

_**You're nothing, you hear me?! NOTHING! You think he cares, you think he actually gives a shit about you?! Then how come he didn't come with you when you had to escort Takeru around the school? How come he didn't come looking for you the second class was over? How come he didn't even try to protect you?**_

_H-He was probably... with Haruhi-_

_**Exactly! Face it, Kaoru, you're old news. You're just one of the million specks of dust on this godforsaken planet. Why would Hikaru go after and protect you, when he has a beautiful, loving, strong, smart, amazing girl like Haruhi? He doesn't need you anymore. He's never needed you. All you've ever done is hold him back, isolate him from the real world. You're nothing. You'll never be anything worthwhile.**_

_H-He...I-I...Hikaru does love me. He does! I know he does!_

_**So he says. You need to get out of this sick world you've made up and step into reality. Just like Haruhi said...Do us all a favor and DROP.**** DEAD.**_

* * *

Everything was white. White walls, white sheets, white side tables, white tools, white bed...Kaoru's pale, white skin.

Hikaru stood in the doorway in shock, not even noticing as tears started running down his cheeks. He slowly stepped into the unsettling room, the steady beep of the heart monitor breaking him out of his stunned silence. He stared at it for a while, watching as the green line spiked, then went flat in almost a rhythmic pattern. He, then, tore his gaze away from the machine to his little brother, lying motionless on the small bed.

"I think we should give him some time alone," Haruhi whispered, motioning with her hand for the group to follow her to the waiting area.

Kyoya blinked, looking over as Honey, Mori, and Haruhi started back down the hallway. His eyes flicked from the room, to the three teenagers, back to Kaoru. Part of him wanted to go in, just to make sure Kaoru was alive and in good hands; but the logical part of his brain won him over, forcing himself away from the room and to the waiting area.

Once everyone was gone, Hikaru closed the door, then walked over to the side of Kaoru's bed. Being careful not to jostle his wrist, Hikaru quietly slipped into the bed. Very carefully, he wrapped his arms protectively around his little brother, gently turning his fragile body to face him.

In a hushed whisper, he murmured, "I'm so sorry, Kaoru...I promise that no matter what happens to me, I will always protect you...I-I'm sorry that I wasn't able to do that today...I-I'm so sorry, K-Kaoru..."

Tears fell unabashedly down his cheeks as he buried his face into Kaoru's hair. His body shook with suppressed sobs as he clumsily intertwined his fingers with his brother's cold, seemingly lifeless one. His heart broke at the fact his hand didn't feel a squeeze back. Hikaru tightened his protective, almost possessive, hold on him, curling around him in an almost cat-like manner.

"I-I'm s-so...S-So sorry..."

* * *

_Hikaru? Is that you? D-Don't cry, Hika! I don't blame you! I-I should've been more careful! Please, don't cry!_

**_You see what you do? All you've ever done is cause pain to those you love. You're nothing to them, you never will be anything to them. You're nothing but a carbon copy of a guy who deserves more out of life than looking after you. Don't you see all of the emotional torment you put him through? Haven't you realized that all you ever do is cause him stress? You're him holding back from happiness. You know what you must do...What you need to do in order to make him truly happy._**

_...I-It...Makes sense...I mean...After everything I've caused...In order for Hikaru to be happy, for him to fully break out of our world, I...I need to...End it._

* * *

_ It came from somewhere  
Beyond the reaches of the  
World that we know,  
Like a creature of shadow_

_It came to mock us, for we_  
_Were so naive that we can't comprehend it,_  
_and truly we are fragile and small_

_I cannot hold on to the truth,_  
_And as it slips right through my_  
_Fingers like a picture that is made of smoke_

_I don't know how I will last_  
_Because my body is so weak_  
_That I may crumble away..._

_Uninstall, Uninstall_

_I was told that I am just a_  
_Single speck of dust,_  
_And cannot be more_

_But I do not understand,_  
_Or grasp the true meaning..._

_Uninstall, Uninstall_

_I no longer have a choice but_  
_To pretend_  
_I am brave_

_For a SOLDIER has to be brave_  
_Uninstall_

_Our unseen thoughts have_  
_Been growing ever sharper_  
_Unbeknownst to us,_  
_Deep within the subconscious_

_But an inclining what has_  
_Been occurring is revealed to me as,_  
_I hear restless monsters_  
_When I sleep_

_Now my heart is empty and_  
_Numb,_  
_Save for the unrelenting_  
_Impulse to destroy all things_  
_That I can see_

_It is born from all of the pain,_  
_For I have lost the will to_  
_Choose the day I'll crumble away..._

_Uninstall, Uninstall_

_If there's no one who can_  
_Take this burden in my_  
_Place, then there's no_  
_Choice_

_But to take my simple life_  
_And..._

_Uninstall, Uninstall_

_And it makes me want to_  
_End it all with my own_  
_Hands_  
_Is it wrong?_

_Surely, it's alright to want..._  
_Uninstall_

_Uninstall, Uninstall_

_I was told that I am just a_  
_Single speck of dust,_  
_And cannot be more_

_But I do not understand,_  
_Or grasp the true meaning..._

_Uninstall, Uninstall_

_I no longer have a choice but_  
_To pretend_  
_I am brave_

_For a SOLDIER has to be brave_  
_Uninstall_

* * *

**A/N: Yay for somewhat fast updates! Thank you so much to all of those who read and review this story, you have no idea how much it means to me! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and the next chapter should be up at the very least...By next week, I think. Anyway, tell me what you think and I'll see you guys next time.  
**

**The song I used is Uninstall by Vocaloid.**

**Review = Starburst! (Seriously, guys, I've got a five pound bag of Starburst. Any takers?)**


	18. Undone

**A/N: Hey, guys...I'm really, very, truly sorry for the late update. I've been in the hospital for about a week and it's been hell trying to catch up in school. Thank you for all of your kind reviews, they always keep me motivated and make me feel better. I hope you guys can forgive me for the lateness and...Enjoy the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Nope.**

* * *

A murky voice began to slowly break through the unrelenting darkness. Kaoru groaned, trying to see where the voice was coming from. He knew for a fact that it wasn't that foul, loathsome voice that was plaguing his thoughts, but a gentler, softer one. Then, he could finally here what that warm, familiar voice was saying.

"Come on, Kaoru," it called gently. "I'm right here. Open your eyes."

_Hikaru._

With new found motivation, Kaoru slowly managed to peek open his eyes. Yet, the second he did, blinding lights made his golden orbs burn and squeeze shut once more. A gentle hand caressed his cheek, soothingly rubbing small circles on it with its thumb.

"It's okay, Kaoru," Hikaru encouraged, giving his brother a small smile. "I've got you."

Hesitantly, Kaoru tried again. The sting wasn't as bad as the first time, but he could still feel it a bit. Flicking his eyes away from the burning lights, he could see his brother laying beside him, looking at him with a loving gaze. The younger twin blinked, before his lips broke into an adoring grin.

"How are you feeling?" Hikaru asked, running his fingers through Kaoru's hair.

"B-Been...Better..." Kaoru croaked, his throat dry. His senses began to reawaken, forcing him to take notice of how stiff and heavy his body felt. He was so weak and tired, he felt as if he couldn't even lift a finger. He blinked lazily as his brother reached over him and grabbed something from the bedside table. He gingerly held it up to his lips.

"Here, you probably need something to drink," Hikaru said. He carefully tilted the glassed as Kaoru took small sips of the cool water. After he was done, Hikaru set the glass back on the table and wrapped his arm around his brother once more.

"Thank you, Hika," Kaoru mumbled, his voice significantly better.

Hikaru shook his head, a small smile set on his lips, "Don't mention it."

Letting loose a quiet yawn, Kaoru rest his head in the crook of his older brother's neck. He hoped Hikaru didn't mind, he didn't want to do anything that made him uncomfortable. Suddenly anxious, Kaoru moved to out his head back on the pillow, but stopped when he felt Hikaru's arms tighten around him. He felt his cheeks heat up as his twin nuzzled his face into his hair.

"I love you, Kaoru," Hikaru mumbled.

Kaoru shook, as his heart beat painfully inside his chest. He wanted to believe Hikaru, he really did, but...The voice in his head gave him too many reasons not to. His body began to shake as his thoughts battled with each other as to whether or not believe his brother.

Hikaru looked down at Kaoru in concern, feeling his baby brother's body trembling against him. In a hushed, caring voice, said, "It's okay, Kao, it's okay. I'm here, I've got you. You're going to be just fine. Takeru won't ever touch you again, you hear me?"

"H-Hika?" Kaoru stuttered. "I-I...I love you, too. I r-really, really do."

Hikaru blinked as his brother started to cry, his shoulder becoming damp from his twin's tears.

"It's okay, Kao, I've got you," He continued to whispered, placing a soft kiss on the crown of his twin's head.

* * *

Days passed, and Kaoru was finally out of the hospital. While he was excited to finally be out of the maddeningly white room, his body trembled with anxiety as he thought of what was going to happen at school. He knew he hadn't told Hikaru about Takeru, and yet he still found out. Now, if Takeru got wind that his twin knew of his violent behavior towards him, he was going to hurt Hikaru.

_I can't let that happen. Takeru won't a finger on Hikaru, and if he does...I-I-_

_**You'll what? Beat him up? Look at you! His finger weighs more than your entire body! How do you expect to defend Hikaru if the guy trying to hurt him makes you look like a paperclip?**_

_Would it kill you to just let me have my moment?_

**Yes.**

Kaoru sighed, pulling the blanket over his head to try and block out the annoying comments. It was currently two thirty in the morning, and the redhead had yet to catch any sleep. Tomorrow was his first day back and to say that he was nervous was an understatement. His thoughts were racing faster than any car could even hope to go. He felt sick to his stomach at the thoughts of Takeru putting Hikaru in the hospital, or even worse, killing him.

Speaking of Hikaru, he was sound asleep beside his younger brother, his legs entangled with Kaoru's underneath the blankets. Even though it was ruining his plan to give Hikaru happiness, it made Kaoru happy that his twin was at his side again. He hadn't left him alone all day! To most that would seem like a complaint, but to Kaoru, it was a dream come true.

"What am I going to do?" Kaoru sighed, burying his face into the pillows. One thing was for sure:

Tomorrow was going to be hell.

* * *

Ouran's pink, flawless walls had never looked so...Intimidating. Kaoru stayed close to his brother's side, his eyes endlessly looking around for any trace of Takeru or his stupid cronies. To his relief, none of the students looked even remotely similar to his tormenter. Shifting his eyes back to Hikaru, he was surprised to see his twin staring ahead with a cold, steely gaze.

"What's wrong, Hikaru?" Kaoru said, hesitantly putting a hand on Hikaru's arm.

The older twin sighed, before replying, "Don't worry about it, Kao. I'm just upset about Takeru."

"Well, don't worry," Kaoru said, trying to cheer him up, "at least you'll get to see Haruhi."

Hikaru stopped at the mention of her name, his body becoming rigged. Kaoru watched timidly as he saw his brother grit his teeth and clench his hand into a fist.

"I-I'm s-sorry, Hika, I-I didn't me-"

"No, Kaoru," Hikaru said, forcing himself to swallow his anger. He turned to his twin and gently said, "Haruhi and I are...Just taking a break. Nothing to worry about."

Kaoru looked at him uncertainly, before slowly taking hold of his brother's hand. In a soft voice, he replied, "I'm sorry, Hikaru. If you want, not that you have to or anything, but...We could hang out today. Like old times."

Hikaru blinked, before he broke out into a smile, "Sure, I'd like that."

* * *

So far, that day was a disaster. Hikaru tried talking to the teachers about what happened to Kaoru, but they just wouldn't believe him. While they sympathized Kaoru's situation and gave him extra time to catch up on homework, they didn't believe that a straight A student, like Takeru, would ever do something so positively heinous. Of course when the teachers asked the disgusting boy, he refused to have done anything wrong. As for his "back up", it turns out that didn't even go to school in their district.

"I'm sorry, boys," the teacher said. "But, your story is invalid due to the current circumstances."

Hikaru shook with rage as the teacher disappeared out the door and into the hallway. Kaoru looked at his brother worriedly, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay, Hi-"

"No, it's not Kaoru!" Hikaru snapped. "Now, Takeru's going to continue to torment you and the school refuses to do anything about it! Aren't you worried? Don't you care about what happens to you at all?!"

"Of course I do, Hika. But, I care about what happens to you even more!"

"What happens to me?! I'm not the one in danger he-"

"Yes you are, Hikaru," Kaoru cut in. "Now that you know what Takeru's doing, he's going to come after you! I was an idiot and somehow my stupidity has dragged you into this mess. It's not alright that I keep doing this to you, Hika! It'll never be alright!"

"Kaoru, me finding out about Takeru had nothing to do with you. You've way to hard on yourself lately," Hikaru said, his tone becoming surprisingly gentle.

Kaoru shook his head stubbornly and said, "You're wrong! Everything I do holds you back! Keeps you from being happy!"

"Kaoru, you make me happ-"

"DON'T LIE!" Kaoru screeched, his eyes glazed over with tears. "Just stop it! You know I'm right! You know you wish you didn't have me around! You wish I was gone!"

"I would never wish that!"

"But you do! You wish you were an only child! That way you would actually know how to be social, and would be popular, and not have to deal with some stupid, pathetic brother!"

"SHUT UP!" Hikaru roared, slamming his hand down on a desk. Kaoru took a step back, although his eyes stayed narrowed. The older twin felt himself beginning to tremble with frustration as he stared down his little brother. In a low voice, he said, "Kaoru, I have never, NEVER, wished that you were gone. I'm happy that we're together, that we're twins. I know that we were living our lives the wrong way when we were little, but that doesn't mean I hated it. Hell, I loved it! I loved you! I still love you!"

"B-But...We were always alone...Y-You didn't have any friends-"

"Because I didn't need friends. I had you, Kaoru. And that was enough for me. It's still enough. As long as we're together, it doesn't matter if we have all the friends in the world or if we're loners for the rest of our lives. All that matters is that we stay together. But, we can't do that if you kill yourself, now can we?"

Kaoru sniffled, "N-No..."

Hikaru nodded, then stepped forward. Slowly, as to not frighten him, he wrapped his arms around Kaoru in a warm embrace. In a gentle voice, he whispered, "I love you, Kaoru, and I won't live without you. Please...Please remember that."

Kaoru nodded his head, burying his tear stained face into Hikaru's shoulder.

Little did the two of them know, there were a pair with horrible, bloody red eyes watching them.

* * *

_This world will never be_  
_ What I expected_  
_ And if I don't belong_  
_ Who would have guessed it_  
_ I will not leave alone_  
_ Everything that I own_  
_ To make you feel like it's not too late_  
_ It's never too late_

_ Even if I say_  
_ It'll be alright_  
_ Still I hear you say_  
_ You want to end your life_  
_ Now and again we try_  
_ To just stay alive_  
_ Maybe we'll turn it all around_  
_ 'Cause it's not too late_  
_ It's never too late_

_ No one will ever see_  
_ This side reflected_  
_ And if there's something wrong_  
_ Who would have guessed it_  
_ And I have left alone_  
_ Everything that I own_  
_ To make you feel like_  
_ It's not too late_  
_ It's never too late_

_ Even if I say_  
_ It'll be alright_  
_ Still I hear you say_  
_ You want to end your life_  
_ Now and again we try_  
_ To just stay alive_  
_ Maybe we'll turn it all around_  
_ 'Cause it's not too late_  
_ It's never too late_

_ The world we knew_  
_ Won't come back_  
_ The time we've lost_  
_ Can't get back_  
_ The life we had_  
_ Won't be ours again_

_ This world will never be_  
_ What I expected_  
_ And if I don't belong_

_ Even if I say_  
_ It'll be alright_  
_ Still I hear you say_  
_ You want to end your life_  
_ Now and again we try_  
_ To just stay alive_  
_ Maybe we'll turn it all around_  
_ 'Cause it's not too late_  
_ It's never too late_  
_ Maybe we'll turn it all around_  
_ 'Cause it's not too late_  
_ It's never too late (It's never too late)_  
_ It's not too late_  
_ It's never too late _

* * *

**A/N: And there we go. Sorry it's not very good, I'm sorta sick right now and sniffely. I hope you guys enjoyed it none the less and hopefully the next chapter will be up at least by the end of this week. I hope everyone stays awesome and I'll see you all next. See ya!**

**Reviews = A rose from Tamaki Suoh**


	19. Sparks

**A/N: Hey, guys. I'm so sorry for the late update, I've just been so busy with school work and I just haven't had enough time to update. I hope I'll be able to update more this story more quickly, but on top of school and writer's block I just...I have no idea when I'll be able to update. I'll try though, I promise I will! :) So...Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: ...*eats a marshmallow***

* * *

"What are we going to do, boss?" Akio asked, watching Takeru pace back and forth in front of him. "The teachers are on to us. If we pull another stunt like the last one, we're all gonna get expelled."

"And if we get expelled, we can say goodbye to our inheritance of our father's business," Riku grumbled, picking at his nails.

Takeru ignored them, lost in his own thoughts of how to stop all of their work from crumbling around them. There was no doubt they were going to get caught. Once those bloody twins tell their Host Club buddies that the teachers didn't believe them, they'd start stacking up evidence until the teachers had no choice but to kick him out of school. He always knew those good for nothing snobs would do something to ruin his chance at making his father proud.

He saw no other option. His only purpose was to prove himself to his father and bring pride back to his family name. Now, he could do neither. He couldn't dare face his father, not after the mess he's made of his reputation. No...He had to remove himself from this existence. If he did that, the shame shall vanish as well. He, however, refused to go down alone.

With a maniacal smirk, Takeru turned to his henchmen, his crimson eyes glittering with heinous intentions. With a sneer, he decided, "Gentlemen...We're going out with a bang."

* * *

"Hikaru, stop acting like such a child," Haruhi said, reaching the peak of her frustration. "I've told you, I'm sorry. Plus, I've apologized to Kaoru at least a dozen times. Why are you mad at me for something I didn't even do?"

"Because you didn't help," Hikaru growled, glaring at his girlfriend.

Kaoru watched awkwardly from beside his brother, unsure whether to step in or not. In a hesitant voice, he muttered, "Hika, maybe...You know...You should give Haruhi another chance."

_Even if you step on the pumpkin's remains in doing so._

Hikaru and Haruhi came to a sudden halt in their argument, the ginger flicking his gaze over to his slightly younger brother. Haruhi offered the younger twin a gracious look, as Hikaru stuttered, "B-But-"

"Like she said, Hikaru," Kaoru continued calmly, "there's nothing you could've done to prevent it. I would've gotten hurt either way."

Hikaru looked between him and Haruhi uncertainly, debating in his mind whether or not to heed his brother's words. Kaoru sighed, seeing his brother's mental struggle. Laying a gentle hand on his shoulder, the twin whispered, "I hate seeing you so distressed, Hika. Please, just let it go and...Be happy with the one you love."

Sighing, Hikaru nodded and stepped toward Haruhi. With a gaze directed to the floor, he mumbled, "I'm sorry, Haruhi...For everything."

"It's alright, Hikaru. I'm sorry, too," Haruhi said. She then looked over Hikaru's shoulder and said, "Thank you, Kaoru. For understanding and everything."

Kaoru offered a small smile, nodding ever so lightly as to show that she was welcome. With a blush, Haruhi intertwined hers and Hikaru's hands, pecking her boyfriend ever so lightly on the cheek. Kaoru winced as Hikaru blushed at the affection. The couple began walking together towards the abandon music room, hands held together, practically forget the other twin as they got lost in their own little world.

* * *

_What is this burning in my chest?_

_It hurts. Whenever I see them hug or hold hands, it's like someone's clawing at my already wounded heart. But, seeing them kiss is the worst. Whenever I see their lips slowly mesh together in harmony, a cold, steel blade plunges itself into the very depths of my chest, plowing itself through my heart._

_How much more can I take?_

_Why does it hurt?_

_I should be happy for him. I should be overjoyed with his exploration outside our world, ecstatic with his baby steps towards complete independence. I should be honored that I'm the twin of the boy who was able to obtain the club's most loved girl. I should...I should just be happy in general._

_Then why does it hurt? Why does it hurt to see them laugh, and smile, and...Love? Perhaps it is because I wish for someone to love, and of course to love me back. I most certainly love Hikaru, but I doubt that his feelings are anywhere close to the longing I feel whenever he's not around. The absolute need of him to hold me and promise me that he won't leave._

_But, at the same time...I don't want him to promise that._

_I want him to get out and live his life to the fullest. I want him to get out, have a family, meet new friends, and actually enjoy his life. He shouldn't have to look after his pointless little brother when there are so many great and beautiful things to discover in this world. I should feel the same way about myself, but...The beauty I used to see on this Earth is slowly depleting. _

_Please, Hikaru...Just forget about me..._

_Live your life..._

_Be happy._

* * *

Kaoru sighed, trudging along the corridor to the music room. He had to stop being so melodramatic all of the time, it was so damn depressing. With all of these thoughts and feelings, he felt as though he belonged in a mental asylum. But, no time to dwell on that now. He needed to attend Host Club, entertain his guest, clean up his 'Hosting Area', and then head off to a night of waiting for Hikaru to return.

Opening the light pink door, Kaoru stepped inside to see everyone finishing up preparations. Haruhi was filling the tea pot with hot water, Kyoya was writing down something in his mysterious black book, Mori was setting out the desserts, and Honey, of course, was eating said desserts.

Kyoya looked up from his writing, seeing Kaoru walk into the room. He set his black book down, picked up a vase of elegant, sunset orange roses, and walked over to the younger member. He handed the flowers to Kaoru and, upon seeing the boy's perplexed features, he explained, "The theme for today is just a simple 'Rose Color/Personality' sort of thing."

"Oh, okay," Kaoru said. "Thanks for getting me orange, those are my favorite."

"You're lucky that we were able to," Kyoya said, walking back over to his designated spot. "Orange roses are rare, and very expensive to find and purchase."

Kaoru sighed, "I doubt these roses are coming to me for free, huh?"

"Oh, Kaoru, you know me so well," Kyoya smirked, going back to his schematics.

Kaoru shook his head, trudging over to his spot with a small grin. He felt today wasn't going as badly as he'd originally thought. He managed to spend the day with Hikaru, mend his friendship with Haruhi, and he was accepted back into the Host Club. The only thing today needed was Tamaki bursting in with his foolish enthusiasm and today will be the best day Kaoru had in a long time.

Then, he heard the doors of the Host Club creek open, and all of the hosts, including himself, chorused, "Welcome~"

Loud, high-pitched squeals echoed the halls.

* * *

"Over there! You missed a spot!" Takeru snarled, pointing at the far corner of the room. "I told you, idiots, every inch has to be drenched!"

Riku looked up from where he was pouring the gasoline, "But, boss, how will this help us get out of trouble?"

"Just shut up and keep pouring!" Takeru snapped, his sickly eyes drinking in the sight of the classroom, now dripping in gasoline. The raven-haired brute turned to the teacher, tied up and gagged, sitting against the wall by him. In a cold sneer, he said, "Say into this microphone that you want Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin down here immediately."

The teacher glared coldly at Takeru, not making a sound. Snarling, Takeru reached into his pocket and pulled out a glimmering, gold pocket knife. Gritting his teeth, the teen slashed the blade against the teacher's throat, killing him instantly. Then, he placed the blade in the teacher's hand, curling the dead man's fingers around it as if he'd committed suicide.

"Don't want my death to thought of as a stupid teen playing with fire," Takeru grumbled, taking one off the empty tanks of gas and putting it next to the body's other hand. He then stomped away from his victim and snatched Akio's full tank of gasoline, snarling out, "Follow me! And don't make a sound!"

The two juveniles followed Takeru out the door and into the hall. Closing the doors, Takeru took out a match, lit it, and threw it inside. Within seconds, they heard flames roar behind the doors, clawing to get out and cause even more damage. With a despicable snicker, Takeru continued on his way down the hall, pouring a trail of gasoline behind him as he went.

* * *

"Hey, Kyoya," Kaoru said, standing up from his seat. "Do you smell something...Burning?"

Kyoya stopped writing, taking in a whiff of the air. Surely enough, he smelt something along the lines of smoke. His eyes growing wide, the raven-haired turned to the girls and calmly said, "Ladies, if you would please make your way to the doors and out the nearest exit, it would be most appreciated. We will make up for this early closing by giving you all complimentary photo books."

Mumbling and whispering to each other anxiously, the fangirls got up from their seats and went orderly out of the door. Although, shortly after, loud screams erupted from the hall. The scatter of feet against the tile floor mixed with the unmistakeable sounds of fire edging closer towards the group of teens. The members looked in horror to see the door of the host club was blocked by burning flames.

Then, almost as if he morphed out of the fire itself, Takeru appeared smirking at the entrance of the Host Club. His crimson, violet eyes reflected the horrified faces of each of the teens trapped in the burning room. He held a tank of gas in one hand and a sharp, sword-like knife in the other. A terrible smirk curled his lips.

He was the devil, and the hosts have found themselves in hell.

* * *

"Oh, Tamaki, thank you for a wonderful time," Eclair said. "I'm sorry you had to miss school, though."

"No worries, as long as you had a good time and like the jewelry you purchased, it was well worth it," Tamaki replied, meaning every word. Just like he said, a host's job is to make women happy. He leaned back in his seat, enjoying the comfortable silence.

Then, Eclair let out a shriek. The blond jumped, looking over at the brunette, concern swirling in dark blue eyes. In a caring voice, he asked, "What's wrong? Is everything okay?"

Eclair put a hand to her mouth, pointing at what had rendered her speechless. Following her eyes, Tamaki looked up and let out a yell. In a frenzy, he clambered over the seats to the driver and pleaded, "Pull over! Pull over, please!"

The driver blinked, then slammed on his breaks. The blond then hopped out of the limo and stared in absolute horror and shock. He felt his heart lurch at the heat that radiated from the building. The wood and roof were cracking and creaking. Students stood moaning outside, clutching gruesome burns that adorned their flesh. Passersby screamed and stared in shock, calling the local authorities.

Ouran High School was engulfed in flames.

* * *

**A/N: How's that for a comeback? :D Hope this is okay, and I'll be updating fairly quickly with the next chapter. Hope you all are well, thank you all so much for the amazing feedback and kind words, and...STAY AWESOME.**

**Reviews = You get to have jawbreakers with Ed, Edd, and Eddy. :)**


	20. Crash

**A/N:...I have no excuse. But, hey, at least school is out so I have more free time to update! Woo! Chapter 20! ...What happened to my life? Oh, well, at least this story is decent. Anyway, thank you for all of the kind words and your patience. Without further ado, I present...The next chapter. *shot for being anti-climatic***

**Disclaimer: ...The goes moo goes cow. :D**

* * *

"Ah, what a beautiful sight," Takeru sighed in a sadistically dreamy way. "All of you cowering before me. I've finally taught you bastards your place."

Hikaru glared fiercely at the dark-haired psycho, holding Haruhi protectively while also shielding Kaoru behind himself. The younger twin looked on in a shocked trance, unable to think of any words suitable for this horrifying situation. The fire was starting to crawl up the walls, making the teens uneasy as the structure of the school began to creak under its weakening state.

"Wait...Honey, Mori, do something?" Hikaru snarled, twisting his head around to look at them. The two cousins were crouched together in a far corner, Mori holding on to a coughing Honey.

"Mitsukuni can't fight," Mori said, his eyes never leaving the lolita host. "And I refuse to leave him in this state."

Takeru snickered, clearly satisfied that his only flaw had fixed itself. He watched with merciless eyes as each of the hosts started tearing up, holding coughs from the poisonous gas that was working its way into their lungs. His smirk grew as he saw Kaoru starting to wobble as he tried coughing out the smoke in his system.

Hikaru noticed the look in Takeru's eyes right away, and gripped his brother's arm. He stared down the devilish student with golden eyes that burning as hot as the fire engulfing the school. Shaking his head, Takeru proposed, "How about the rest of you hosts leave while Hikaru, Kaoru, and I have a little...Chat?"

"No!" Haruhi growled, refusing to leave them behind.

"It's either that," Takeru sighed, "or stand here awkwardly and wait for death to take us all."

"The host club stays together," Kyoya glowered at the evil teen. "No matter what happens."

Takeru looked around the room with a stony gaze, before muttering out, "I see."

All of the hosts were spread out. Mori and Honey in the far left corner away from Takeru, Kyoya to the right of the doors, and the twins, plus Haruhi, in front of the psychopath. Leaving the emotionless expression on his mug, Takeru stepped towards Kaoru, ignoring Hikaru's growing snarls.

Then, without warning, Takeru kicked smoldering ash into Hikaru's and Haruhi's direction, grabbing Kaoru in the commotion. Hikaru and Haruhi let out fierce shrieks of pain, furiously rubbing at their eyes. Kyoya stood and tried to grab Kaoru back, but Takeru pulled out another one of his many pocket knives and stabbed it into the host's arms.

Kyoya grunted, falling on all fours as the brute pushed past him, Kaoru still trapped in his clutches. Honey watched the seen, his body shaking from his violent coughs. The smallest host was furious that Mori didn't leave his side to help Kaoru, and shouted, "K-Kao...K-Ka...**KAO-CHAN!**"

Hearing Honey's distressed shriek, Hikaru jumped up, ignoring the lingering sting that clawed at his eyes. Turning to his girlfriend, he instructed, "Haruhi, take care of Kyoya, Mori's already taking care of Honey. Please, find a way out of here. I'm going to find Kaoru!"

Without another word, or stopping to hear Haruhi's protests, Hikaru ran off into the halls in a frantic search to find his beloved twin.

* * *

Takeru ungracefully slammed Kaoru onto the floor, blocking the library's doors with burning furniture. Kaoru laid, coughing and shaking from the smoke that jabbed at his eyes and lungs. With his dwindling strength, he pushed himself up and faced his tormentor with a steady look of anger.

Takeru sneered, stalking away from the door and towards the smaller teen. Kaoru glared at the approaching boy, grounding out, "For a student of your status, I think you might be the biggest dumb-ass I've ever met."

"Oh, is that so?" Takeru questioned. "Because, from my point of view, it seems as though I'm the one who's getting rid of all his troubles in just one day."

"I don't think suicide is the best substitute for mental medication," Kaoru retorted,his glaring unwavering. He could feel the sweat dripping down his neck and arms, the intense heat making him feel light-headed. But, he also noticed that Takeru's legs had begun to shake, his uniform getting damp with sweat.

"You always were the weakling, Kaoru. Masking your fear behind uninterested stares while big brother did all the fighting," Takeru taunted, stepping closer to the redhead. "But now, Kaoru, the tables have turned. Big brother ain't hear to protect his little, defenseless twin. Now, little Kao-chan has to fight his own battles. Oh, dear!"

Gritting his teeth, Kaoru drew back a fist and slammed it right into the pompous boy's jaw. Takeru paused, a look of pure shock on his face, before he snarled furiously, his crimson eyes practically glowing with rage and hate. With a snarl, Takeru stompe towards Kaoru, swing his fists blindly, not even caring if he truly connected with anything.

Kaoru tried dodging the best he could, but Takeru's rage drove the boy into a blind fury, enhancing his advantages to the point of the fight being anything but in the twin's favor. With an incredibly hard punch to the cheek, Kaoru flew backwards, colliding harshly with a nearby bookshelf. The giant, oak self fell forward, just barely leaving enough to time Kaoru to move before getting smashed.

Takeru watch the scene with a maniacal laugh, his expression looking hysterical as it kept morphing from fury to glee, even to sadness. His body was practically vibrating, his yellowing teeth glinting in the mysterious glow of the fire. His eyes were dilated, one turning violet while the other remained crimson red.

Kaoru panted, watching the teen break down. With a desperate plea, he yelled, "Don't you see?! Not only are you destroying yourself, but you're going to destroy your father!"

"My father wanted revenge!" Takeru cackled, tears streaming down his face. "And I've failed! You're the one who's destroyed my father! You're the reason I'm like this! **You're the reason your brother suffers!**"

"You're wrong!" Kaoru screeched. "My brother suffers because of you!"

"You're the reason he doesn't have any friends! You're the reason he's never had a life! I've seen the look in his eyes! He hates you! He hates having a twin! He's waiting for you to die so that he can finally be free of his parasite!You're no better than me!" Takeru rambled. "What a pair...Ruining lives...We should start a business!"

Kaoru trembled in sorrow and fear as Takeru began cackling loudly, his hysterical laughter echoing through the halls. The redhead could help but be effected by the deranged teen's words. Thinking of the voice in his head, Takeru's comments, his solitude, his loneliness...

_Maybe...This was meant to be?_

_Maybe after this..._

_Hikaru will be happy._

* * *

"Let go of me! You stupid bastards! Let go!" Hikaru bellowed, thrashing in the grip of the firemen. The service men ignored his protests, carrying him to the nearest ambulance. Holding the twin down, one nurse came and wrapped a blanket around the hysterical teen.

"Please, sir, if you continue to struggle, I will have to sedate you," She said in a calm voice. Something told Hikaru that she would have no trouble in poking him with one of those deadly needles.

"I need to get Kaoru out of there!" He snarled, glaring daggers.

The nurse shook her head, "Tut, tut, tut! The firemen are in there searching every possible room a student could be located in. Kaoru will be fine."

"Hikaru!"

The redhead turned, only to be engulfed in a warm embrace. He briefly hugged Haruhi back, before pulling away, asking, "How are the others?"

"Fine," Haruhi answered. "Kyoya's arm will get stitches, Honey's lungs have been cleared of smoke, and Mori is free of injury."

"Good, now all we need is-"

"OH MY GOD!"

"LOOK OUT!"

"IT'S COMING DOWN!"

"N-No..."

"H-Hik-"

"**KAORU!**"

Ouran had just collapsed.

* * *

**A/N: Ta-da! How was it? Sorry for any grammar mistakes, I'm working on three hours of sleep here. Well, drop a review, and I'll see you all next time!**

**Review = Fast update and a hug from Smerfy! (Or Italy if you'd prefer him) *forever alone :'(***


	21. Ashes

**A/N: ...I have no words to describe my lateness. Except for these few: I ended up in the hospital AGAIN due to severe depression and suicidal thoughts and actions. Then, when I finally got home, someone broke my computer. So, I managed to fix the old one downstairs and hook it back up to the internet so now...HERE I AM. Thank you to all those who supported me throughout this story. Quite a few chapters still to come! **

**Disclaimer: Nope.**

* * *

_This darkness...It's so cold. My head is pounding, the scent of smoke assaulting my nostrils. My eyes are burning from the ash and debris. My legs...I think they're broken. I feel pressure on them, practically cementing them to the ground. I think my arms are bleeding, judging by the liquid I feel running down them. Am I dying?_

_No... It's not that simple._

_Nothing in my life has ever been that easy. I know I must work for my release, right now I'm just knocking on a locked door. Oh, how I long for the key to those damn locks. No matter how much I cry for the grave, I just keep getting denied. _

_Wha...What's happening?_

_I...What happened anyway? E-Everything's becoming blurry! W-Where am I? I knew where I was moments ago! Who-Who is responsible for this?! Did...Did something hit me? Or am I going mad? Shouldn't someone be looking for me...?_

_I think he's my brother...?_

_Wait..._

_...What's my name?_

* * *

"Everyone! Stand clear!" The police bellowed, blocking the entrance to the wreckage. The once cocky and pampered students of Ouran now sat on the streets, wailing and mourning as the firemen began carrying out bodies of all ages.

Hikaru was shaking, staring at the pile of rubble. It was practically impossible for him to believe that a burnt, smoking heap of concrete, steal, and wood was once the glorious home of the Host Club. He didn't want to believe that his baby brother was trapped within all of that destruction.

The fire had finally been put out, down to the last ember. Firemen, however, were still retrieving bodies from the, what used to be, school. Each of the brave men wearing looks of remorse and grief. Some were even driven to tears.

Suddenly, they pulled out a body that Hikaru could still barely recognize. Only those hateful, crimson eyes were shut and his jet black hair completely burnt off. The redhead felt no grief for the bastard. He hoped he burned in the darkest reaches of hell, with the Devil himself.

But, his thoughts were quickly interrupted when another body was pulled from the wreckage. He knew it instantly. The fireman holding his brother was panting, racing over the debris to get to an ambulance. Crying out joyously, he announced, "I found a live one!"

The paramedics quickly pulled out a gurney, praising the rescuer. Hikaru ran forward, screaming, "Wait! Let me come! I'm his brother!" The paramedics nodded, making room in the vehicle for Hikaru. The older twin sat down and tenderly grasped his brother's hand.

_He looks like he's sleeping..._

* * *

Tick...Tick...Tick...Tick...

That was the only noise in the waiting room, except for the occasional sounding of the secretary answering the phone. Hikaru was sat in the far corner of the room, ignoring everyone one around him. His golden eyes were practically piercing the door as they watched for Kaoru's doctor to emerge.

He was surrounded by parents, many of whom had just arrived from work after they had gotten called about the Ouran fire. He could feel the tension in the air, everyone worried about their own loved one. Sometimes one of the woman would let out a sob or a sniffle, but for the most part, the only sound was that damned clock and the apathetic secretary.

A doctor soon walked through the doors, calling out, "Hitachiin?" Hikaru got up, striding over to the man. He looked him dead in the eye, practically daring him to give him bad news. The doctor said, "Mr. Hitachiin, your brother will be alright. He currently resting, but should awaken at any time. He is located in room 145."

"Thank you," Hikaru mumbled, feeling his eyes sting with tears of relief. He quickly jogged down the hall, opening the door to his twin's room. Although the sight of his baby brother in a hospital bed still made his heart hurt, he was more prepared considering he had seen him in this sort of condition before.

Stepping quietly towards the bed, Hikaru softly called, "Kaoru?"

* * *

_..._

**_Yo, Sunshine! Get up, would ya?_**

_Shut up...Wait...WH-_

**_Before ya go ballistic on me, let me explain. I'm the voice in your head that tells you what others really think about you. I'm the part of you that had gotten pent up inside of you for so long, that I've become my own sort of...Entity. That only you can hear, of course._**

_S-So...I-I'm crazy._

_**Hm...No. You're pretty damn close, though.**_

_Who-_

**_Just wake up,_ _dipshit._**

* * *

With a groan, Kaoru reluctantly cracked open his eyes. He blinked confusedly at the bandages on his arms, and the casts that covered his legs from the knee down. But, what made him truly bewildered, was the boy sitting next to his bed, giving him an appraising look.

Blushing from shyness, he mumbled, "Um...Hi?"

Hikaru frowned, staring at his brother with deep concern. He could tell something was missing from his brothers eyes. He was looking at him like he was a complete stranger! In an uncertain voice, he asked, "Are you alright, Kaoru?"

Kaoru blinked, looking around for whoever the boy in front of him was talking to. Then, in realization, he replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, are you talking to me?"

"Um, yea, that's why I said your name," The older boy said, feeling panic beginning to fill him. Looking thoughtful, the younger twin looked away, muttering to himself. Hikaru could feel his hands starting to shake, "Kaoru?"

"Hm?" The redhead hummed. "Oh, right, that's me...So, um, I don't mean to be rude, but...Who are you?"

Tears welled up in Hikaru's eyes, causing Kaoru to feel terrible. In a shaking voice, he said, "P-Please...D-Don't cry! I didn't mean to make you upset, just wanted to know your name!"

Sniffling, the crying boy answered, "M-My name i-is H-H-Hikaru. I'm your twin brother..."

"What? But that can't be right! I don't remember having a twin! But...Come to think of it...I can't even remember my own name, or anything for that matter," Kaoru mumbled to himself. Looking back up at Hikaru, he said, "I'm sorry that I made you upset. I just...Where...Where are we?"

"We're at the hospital..."

"Why?"

"You...You were in a burning building when it collapsed. You broke both of your legs and had some minor cuts and burns on your arms."

Kaoru looked down at himself, staring at the white gauze that covered said injuries. He lifted the blanket to reveal his bare thighs, his calves covered by hard, lime green casts and gauze. Dropping the blanket back onto himself, he turned back to his brother. Squinting slightly, he asked, "How do I know you're telling the truth?"

Rolling his eyes, Hikaru stood and walked over to a nearby cabinet. He opened it and searched until he found a small mirror. Bringing back to the bed, he angled it for Kaoru so he could see their identical faces. Kaoru's mouth dropped open as he stared at their reflections. Finally, he said, "Well...Can't argue with that."

Hikaru set the mirror down on the side of the bed. He slowly intertwined his fingers with Kaoru as he whispered, "Really don't remember...Do you?"

"No," His twin answered, staring down at their hands. "But...That doesn't mean I won't ever remember, right?"

"That is an excellent question, Mr. Hitachiin," said the doctor from the doorway. "I was just coming in to talk about that very subject." Pulling up a chair beside the two brothers, the doctor continued, "Your brain was jostled when you had gotten hit with some sort of debris from the fire when the building collapsed. Now, there is a possibility that your memories will return if you can trigger them, like say...Oh, I don't know...You're favorite movie, or hearing certain songs."

"So...He will get his memory back?" Hikaru asked, staring at the doctor intensely.

The man sighed, "Well...On the other hand, he could not regain any memories."

"So...I might never remember anything?" Kaoru mumbled, shell-shocked.

"I'm afraid that is the case."

* * *

"Kyoya! Kyoya, you're okay, right?!" Tamaki yelped, looking over his boyfriend for injuries. Kyoya nodded, though his arm was sporting a bright, red burn. He hadn't said a word since he had escaped the fire. The screams of the students and the fierce yells of the authorities still plagued his mind.

"Kyoya..."

"Takeru started the fire..." The shadow king finally replied. "He was killed in the collapse."

Tamaki nodded, looking back at the pile of rubble he once called a school. He could see Haruhi standing in front of the gate, staring at the burnt material with a look of grief. Honey and Mori were close by, the small blond crying into his pink bunny while his cousin rubbed his back.

Tamaki was once King of the Host Club.

But it looks like now, his kingdom has fallen.

* * *

**A/N: So, hope that was a decent chapter. Again, thank you to those who reviewed/favorited/alerted/read this fanfic and...Talk to you when I have the next chapter up. See ya!**

**(To those who've asked, I am in the Bro Army, and I also like Tobuscus. BROFIST!)**


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